I wanted her but couldn’t claim her.
Not yet.
Not when I risked losing so much.
This time, she didn’t follow me.
She was silent a moment.
“What’s wrong? You don’t like me?”
“Liking you doesn’t have anything to do with it.”
“Then what’s the problem? I want you. And I’m pretty sure you want me.”
I couldn’t meet her eyes.
“Or maybe I’m wrong,” she said. “Maybe you don’t want me…”
Anger flared in my chest, not toward her, but at myself and this damn situation.
“That’s not true!” I snapped. “I want you more than I can describe.”
I was thankful for the semidarkness.
At least now it cloaked the raging emotions scrambling for control in my head.
“Then what’s the problem?” Ava said. “Something’s been clawing at you ever since we arrived here. What is it?”
I am a Shadow, I thought. And I’m going to take you to the Citadel where you will become a breeder.
You will be visited by one Shadow after another, each one there to give you his seed so you will swell the Shadows’ ranks.
Each one will tear a chunk of your soul away.
That’s why I can’t get close to you.
I’m already too close now.
Those were the words I wished I could say.
I felt certain she could somehow read them on my face as easily as a child read letters in a book.
Her expression was hurt.
Once more, she placed a hand on my arm.
This time, she didn’t move to press her lips against mine.
She ran her hand over the hair of my arms, sending a chill through me.
Never in my life had I wanted something so much.
“Whatever it is, it doesn’t matter,” she said. “You don’t have to tell me. It doesn’t change anything. In two days, we’ll head into the solar storm and there’s a good chance we might never come out of it. Before that happens, I want to know what it feels like to have you inside me. There’s something between us, something that connects us. It’s muffled as if someone’s pressing a pillow over it, but it’s still there. Like the bond I share with the M’rora.
“I’m drawn to you, Kayal. I’m addicted like I’m on some kind of drug. So, you don’t have to tell me anything. You don’t have to feel guilty. But I want you to fuck me. I can’t say it any more directly than that.”
I peered into her big brown eyes, the candlelight softening her features and making her skin glow.
She looked even more gorgeous than ever.
And still, I couldn’t bring myself to do it.
I’d spent my life crawling on my belly before my “betters.”
A single moment with Ava couldn’t be worth more than that.
I turned away from her.
She was silent a moment before she spoke.
“I’m sorry.”
As she turned and left the cave, my heart turned to lead.
Ava
To say I was shocked and confused was an understatement.
I had thrown myself at him and he rebuffed me.
I ran through each of the incidents over the past couple of days, each time I thought I saw something in his eyes, the way he approached me, the way he looked at me…
I was certain he liked me, just as his parents were sure of the same thing.
But it appeared we had all been hoodwinked.
Or maybe he did want me but something was holding him back, something more powerful than his animalistic desire.
Whatever it was, it dampened his feelings for me.
I swore to myself I would never make a pass at him again.
I would just have to admire him from a distance.
I marched toward the cave entrance and stepped into the haunted moonlight.
I never made it another step.
Kayal yanked me back and caught me in his powerful hands.
He held me tightly against his chest.
He buried his lips on mine before I could utter a word, his tongue probing and searching.
Desperate.
I pulled back and shoved him from me.
Now it was his turn to look confused.
I was hurt, annoyed, angry…
Hell, I felt so many conflicting emotions I didn’t know how I felt.
“I thought this was what you wanted,” he said.
“It is.”
“Then why did you shove me away?”
“To make you feel the same way I did when you turned me down.”
We were both panting for breath.
I folded my arms and tapped my foot.
One Mississippi.
Two Mississippi.
Three Mississip—
Oh, to hell with it!
I lurched into him, resuming precisely where we left off.
His arms tensed, pulling me so close I could feel his stiffness against me.
I pressed a hand to his chest and felt at his muscular torso.
On his back, the intricate knots of carved muscle.
I kissed every inch of his face and tasted his warpaint.
It tasted pretty good.
It must have been farmed from the forest plant life.
I nibbled at his thick shoulders and licked each perfectly formed muscle.
I devoured him, the same way I intended on doing for the next few hours—time permitting.
I’d seen his muscles up close but had never been able to give in to my desires and taste them.
I trailed my lips over his impressive physique until I found his dark nipples.
My eyes rolled into the back of my head like I was eating my favorite black forest dessert.
Maybe I had a new favorite—Kayal flavor.
He groaned as I flicked his exposed nipples with my tongue.
He placed his hand on my head and gripped a fistful of my hair, tugging it back.
A test, I thought, to see how I would react to being dominated.
I smiled up at him.
Give me more.
He buried his mouth on my bare shoulder and savored my skin, nipping at it with his teeth.
It was both painful and satisfying in the same instant.
I didn’t think I had ever felt anything so delicious my entire life.
“Mmm,” I groaned.
He wasted no time and slid a hand down the front of my dress.
He pressed it down so it gathered around my waist.
I was exposed to him, only my bra offering any kind of resistance to his onslaught.
He reached behind me and felt for my bra strap.
He fumbled and I grinned at him.
He snorted in impatience.
I supposed he wasn’t used to having to
