Each time I shut my eyes, I saw that curled look of hatred on her face and heard that agonizing scream she’d emitted when I dragged her back to her padded prison cell.
Almost as bad was the look of victory on sister Annas’s face. She got to see me repaid for the lies I told about the note she pushed under my cell door. She hadn’t been the one to cause this, not directly, but she seemed satisfied…
Or was she?
Would she find some other way to make me suffer for what I’d done to her? Hers was a dark and evil soul and I doubted a simple act like this would suffice to soothe the malice and hate she fostered in her unbeating heart.
What more could she do to me?
What more did she want from me?
I had lost the only girl I ever loved, ever cared about, and the child growing inside her would soon belong not to her but Krial.
And we all knew what happened to babies handed to him, especially in his weakened state.
There was no hope for the child.
I had seen many mothers give birth to their newborns, each with a warm hopeful smile on their faces at the miracle they held bundled in their arms, each certain this time Krial would find mercy in his heart.
It was a hope that was never met.
There was only ever one road open to the child and it was not one the mother would ever wish upon it.
The hierog demolished me with his elbow, smashing my ribcage and splintering it into a thousand pieces. Some of the shards sliced into the surrounding tissues and organs. Nothing life threatening, I thought.
A pity.
At least then I wouldn’t have to watch the final act of my betrayal take form.
There was one small victory, and that was that the giant hierog would not be allowed to claim Harper.
A small victory to be sure but it was the only one I could salvage from this entire situation.
Even the memories I shared with Harper had been tainted. They no longer sparkled and shone. They had once been sparkling diamonds in a river of shit, now they lay submerged by the way I had treated her, the blood marking my hands every bit as much as Krial’s. A red tint descended over the memories and tainted them forever more.
The hierog, finally done with having fun, picked me up and pinned me against the wall.
My body was limp and I could barely stand under my own weight. The hierog grunted with disgust before he picked me up and held me there with one arm as he drew his other giant arm back to deliver the final blow.
He grinned at me through bent and broken teeth that jutted in chaotic angles. He needed a good dentist.
The hierog paused a moment, staring at me, his head tilting to one side as if seeing something he hadn’t seen before. His expression eased a little, the tense muscles in his frown relaxing and giving way to another:
Pity, I thought.
I didn’t deserve it.
“Do it,” I said, struggling around his enormous fist choking me. “Finish me off. Now. Do it.”
The pure rage had left the creature’s face and he let me fall to the ground.
“I don’t yield!” I yelled. “I don’t yield!”
The crowd cheered at my bravery. But it wasn’t bravery that spurred me on. It was cowardice.
I didn’t want to live with myself. I couldn’t live with myself. Not with the danger I had put Harper through. She didn’t deserve it.
And I didn’t deserve to live.
The creature groaned as he whirled back on me.
“Yield,” he growled. “Or it will not end well for you.”
“I do not yield!” I said. “I will never yield.”
The creature shook his head.
“So be it,” he said.
And when he turned back to me, he swung his fist with the movement and slammed it full in my face, knocking me to the ground.
I passed out long before I came to a stop.
I was surprised when I awoke. After a colossal strike like that from the giant beast, I shouldn’t have been feeling anything at all.
I pressed a hand to my cheek and hissed through my teeth.
“Hold still,” a voice in the darkness said.
Little light permeated the blinds that screened the sharp red light from the blaring outdoor sun. There were three windows. One large, two small, and as my eyes adjusted to the dimness, I could make out more of the room’s details.
The large bed looked comfortable and the paintings on the walls were simple but tasteful. A desk sat tidy with a single short stack of papers. It had a uniform look to it.
“You’re lucky he didn’t kill you,” Tus said. “Here. It’ll take the worst of the swelling from the injuries.”
He handed me something cold and mushy.
“The order was to lose,” I said, hissing as I pressed the mushy stuff to my face.
“Lose, not die. You know Krial likes for his orders to be followed to the letter. It would make him mad if he lost you to the pit.”
“I wouldn’t have to live with it.”
“No, but I would. And so would Annas and Rarr.”
“It doesn’t matter,” I said. “None of it matters.”
Tus crossed the darkness and tapped my leg so I would lift it up and he could take a seat beside me.
“And how come you get the best room?” I said.
“Hard to explain to the other prisoners if you, a fellow inmate, got one of the better rooms, don’t you think?” Tus said.
“I might be able to come up with something.”
Tus chuckled.
“I suppose you could.”
A moment of quiet passed between us. Tus was the only member of Krial’s personal guard I truly felt safe to be myself around. He was a good man and always did his duty. There were certain topics we never discussed. I don’t know why
