“Would you like a cup of coffee?” I said to Bianca.
She raised her flask and smiled.
“Already filled up,” she said.
“What are your plans for today?” I said.
“We’re going arjath riding!” Cleb said, clapping his hands for emphasis.
“Going anywhere nice?” I said.
“Just into the woods,” Bianca said, casting her eyes over me, cold as ice. “There’s a place Cleb wants to show me.”
“That’ll be nice,” I said. “It’s supposed to be good weather today.”
Bianca laid two napkins on the table and gathered a pile of food into each. One had the sweet food such as cinnamon buns and lightly sugared rolls, the other savory food such as cheesy pinwheels and chicken pies. She carefully folded the napkins and tucked the food in her backpack.
A servant handed her a few bottles of water.
“Is this enough, ma’am?” he said.
“Yes, thank you,” Bianca said, adding them to her backpack, “and don’t call me ma’am. I’m Bianca.”
She extended her hand to the servant. He looked at it before glancing questioningly at me. I shrugged my shoulders. I didn’t know what it meant either. The servant extended his hand a few inches from hers. Bianca took it and shook it up and down.
“I guess you guys aren’t used to shaking hands,” Bianca said. “It’s a sign of respect on my home planet.”
“Oh,” the servant said, before shaking her hand in return.
I eyed the handshake with jealousy. Why didn’t she shake my hand like that?
“Your bag’s going to be very heavy,” I said. “Are you sure you can manage?”
“I’ll be fine,” she said, lifting the backpack with a single arm and strapping it to her back. “I’m stronger than I look.”
“And you look very strong,” I said. “I mean… Not that you look overly muscular or anything. I meant you look healthy. In good shape.”
Shut up, you fool! Shut up!
“Aren’t you going to eat breakfast before you go?” I said. “You’ll get very hungry.”
“We want to get an early start,” Bianca said. “Catch the sun as it rises above the forest. It should be pretty spectacular.”
Anything would be spectacular with you by my side.
“It sounds like it,” I said. “Maybe you should take a guard with you. I’d feel a lot better if you did.”
“We’ll be fine,” Bianca said, waving her hand dismissively. “We won’t go too far.”
“By the amount of food you’re taking with you, I thought you might be gone all day,” I said.
“We’ll see how we go,” she said. “It’s never a good idea to plan too much. It sucks the life out of everything. Much better to be a little spontaneous.”
She focused her attention on me. It was an open challenge. She wanted me to be spontaneous, to ask to join them on their day trip.
And I wanted to. I wanted to go with them.
Then why was it so difficult for me to ask?
The moment passed and she nodded her head, her disappointment evident on her face.
I was disappointed in myself too.
I took a sip from my coffee and tried to suppress it.
“Let’s go,” Bianca said.
She took Cleb’s hand and led him away. Cleb danced and hopped as they crossed the room. I’d never seen him so excited. They passed through the door.
Bianca didn’t even turn to look back at me.
The servant shut the door behind them. It banged and echoed in the large, empty hall. I sat my cup down and it clicked loudly on its coaster. Even the other chairs had their backs facing me. The dining room had the same problem as my bed last night.
Far too big.
And cold.
And empty.
I scooped up my coffee cup and grabbed some of the cinnamon rolls.
“I’m going to eat in my study,” I declared to no one in particular.
“Very good, sir,” Waev said.
“Yes, it is, isn’t it?” I said.
I marched down the hall to my office and stepped inside. I shut the door behind myself and pressed my back to it, relieved to have reached a safe place. I immediately felt relaxed.
I was in a place under my control. I was king in this space. No one could tell me what to do.
I crossed the broad open plain of the rich red carpet. Each step I took seemed to take me less than half the distance I thought it would.
Had the room always been this big? And more than that, I’d never realized how much space the desk took up before. It took oceans of time for me to move around it and take my seat on the other side. I put my feet up on the desktop and leaned back in my chair.
See? I could enjoy myself too. I can relax when I want to.
I peered at the paperwork in my overflowing in-tray and the empty out tray. Organizing the following day’s workload was always the last thing I did each evening before heading to dinner. I needed to get through it all before I considered it a productive day’s work.
Of course, I didn’t all need to get done today. I mean, it could easily keep until tomorrow. Most of it, anyway. There were a couple of very important items I needed to take care of right away.
Well, there was no time like the present, was there?
I picked up the piece of paper on top and began reading through it. I got halfway down the page when I realized I couldn’t remember what it’d said at the very top. I went back and read through it again.
This time, I told myself, I would understand what it said perfectly.
I read the words again.
And still didn’t know what it was talking about.
I stood up and stared out the window. I just needed to reset my brain, that’s all. It’d been a tumultuous evening and morning. I needed peace and quiet to put myself in the right frame of mind for the day. There was little chance of that this morning with her staring at me the way she did.
It really was a beautiful day. Perfect for arjath riding…
Bianca would be laughing and smiling,
