His expression curdled with revulsion at the idea.
“I swear, I won’t get in the way,” I said. “I’ll be useful. Really. I can help heal the injured so they can get back on their feet.”
He shook his head and brushed my cheek with his thumb.
“I would not risk you for all the world,” he said.
“You’re the emperor. It is your world!”
He blinked, paused, and burst out laughing.
“You see?” he said. “This is why I love you.”
The words hung heavy between us. Until now, they hadn’t been spoken out loud. But it was true, wasn’t it? Although we hadn’t said those words to each other, it had always been true.
“I love you too,” I said.
We embraced and kissed. I drew him into me, wishing I could take him inside me. And still, I was desperate to go with him. If this is going to be his last day, I wanted it to be my last day too.
“I have something for you,” Fiath said.
He reached into his pocket and came out with a smooth black pebble with a sharp edge. It was small and could fit easily in the palm of my hand.
“It reminds me of you,” he said. “Beautiful but with a razor’s edge. You deserve diamonds and pearls. And if we’re victorious today, they will be yours.”
I ran my thumb over the smooth stone and clenched it in my fist.
“I don’t have anything to give you,” I said.
“You’ve given me your heart,” he said. “It’s all I need.”
No, I thought. It wasn’t enough. I seized my hair and used the pebble’s sharp edge to slice a curl off. I handed it to him.
He took it gratefully and sniffed it.
“So we can be together if there’s an end,” he said.
If there’s an end…
Even he couldn’t bring himself to believe chances were good they would survive this day.
“Your Majesty?” A’nshon said.
He stood with the other chieftains. They were going to take him away from me. They were going to take him into war.
“It’s time,” A’nshon said.
I wanted to shout “No!” and cling to him, drag him away and keep him locked up safe somewhere. Instead, I just stood there.
He smiled at me and pressed his lips to mine.
“We’ll meet again soon, my love,” he said.
The army broke into pieces. The largest force was headed by Qi. He would distract the Changelings while A’nshon waited with the reserves. M’rar Thres and Nus joined Fiath, who would sneak into the palace and disable the defense turrets. They had less than a dozen warriors with them.
The sight of Fiath surrounded by so few soldiers as he headed into war sent a shiver to my heart. It seemed wrong he should have so few around him. But the smaller their force, the easier it would be for them to pass unnoticed.
“Excuse me, are you going to join the field hospital?” a soft voice asked.
I turned to find a doctor with his other nurses in tow. I recognized some from the Urcim tribe that’d taken me in.
“Yes,” I said. “I’m with you.”
But I wish I was with someone else.
We followed the main army. It would confront the Changelings head-on and absorb most of the casualties. We set up the field hospital beneath the canopy of a nearby copse of trees. Titans carried operating tables, workbenches, and what few beds they managed to rescue from the base.
Other Titans used knives to slice rectangular boards from nearby trees and used them to hang as makeshift beds. They placed their hands on the trees to thank them for the sacrifice they’d made for our cause.
I helped the nurses carry the supplies. We opened the boxes and organized their contents to prepare for the injured and dying when they arrived.
The entire time, I couldn’t stop thinking about Fiath.
It could just as easily have been him heading out to fight the Changeling soldiers, to lay his life down and distract the enemy while the real attack happened in the palace.
It hurt that he was so far from me and was taking such a risk with his life. I knew his men would take good care of him, but I wouldn’t learn what happened to him until after it happened. And by then, there was nothing I could do to help him.
I shook my head. I couldn’t let myself think about what might happen to him. It would distract me too much from my duties here. My job was to help the soldiers.
My hand reached into my pocket and rubbed at the stone he’d given me. I didn’t want this pebble to be all I had left of him.
But that wasn’t true. We’d shared many memories together, so many magical moments on our recent adventures—
I hissed through my teeth and yanked my thumb from my pocket. I’d cut the fleshy part on the stone’s sharp edge. A pearl of blood seeped from the thin cut. I had plenty of supplies to clean and treat it.
Instead, I just stared at it.
That ball of blood. That life-giving source.
But it was not the only life-giving source.
Fiath was a life-giving source to me.
I needed him, just as much as I needed blood in my veins and oxygen in my lungs.
Just as he needed me.
We were fated mates now.
We had bonded.
My heart sank into my stomach at my mistake.
I never should have let him go. Not when so much of me depended on him.
I put the supplies down and marched away from the camp.
“Where are you going?” the head doctor said, ticking off a list of items as Titan soldiers carried them into the makeshift hospital.
“I can’t stay here,” I said. “I have to be with Fiath.”
“You’ll be of more service here,” he said.
“No, I won’t. Not with me thinking about him every moment. I’ll be useless to you. I’ll get in the way. I need to be with him.”
The doctor had more than a handful of soldiers under his command. They were there to protect us in case Changelings attempted to sweep behind the main Titan army.
