“Weekend parties that featured extreme sex games, BDSM, and several TLI’s,” said Gus.
“I’ve read about BDSM,” said Suzie, “but it’s never appealed. As for TLI’s, I can’t imagine what deviant behaviour is involved there.
“Nor can I,” said Gus. “But so many things are covered by three-letter initials these days, I threw it in to cover everything that might have gone on.”
“You never change, do you,” said Suzie. “You use humour to convince me there’s nothing to worry over. Be careful, darling, please.”
“Are we staying here moulded together the whole evening?” asked Gus.
“No, you need to shower, get changed, and get to your allotment. You can have an hour’s gardening while you plan how to avoid getting hurt, then I’ll join you. We’re eating in the Lamb tonight. Our table’s booked for eight o’clock.”
“Fair enough,” said Gus. “I’ve only eaten a slice of fruit loaf since breakfast. I could eat a horse.”
“I didn’t hear that,” said Suzie. “Get in the shower.”
At a few minutes after six, Gus walked through the gateway of the allotments and scanned the area for fellow gardeners. He’d checked his maths as he walked along the lane. Suzie had said an hour on the land, and they were eating at eight o’clock. Something was going on.
“Good evening, Gus,”
Clemency Bentham was kneeling by her rows of lettuces, radishes, and other salad crops.
“Trouble, Reverend?” asked Gus. “Do your plants need heavenly help? They look fine from where I’m standing.”
“I got down here to avoid bending for an extended period, Gus. Although my diet has had limited success, I’m unable to get back to my feet without outside help. Prayer won’t help me. Can you give me your arm, please?”
Gus helped the Reverend back to her feet without comment. He knew when words weren’t necessary.
“Thank you, Gus,” said Clemency. “Is Suzie still coming along later?”
“Still?” asked Gus. “I’m guessing this is something you two are aware of, but I’m to be kept in the dark.”
“We’re hoping there will be an announcement at seven o’clock in the Lamb,” said Clemency.
“Has Bert Penman been here today?” asked Gus.
“I haven’t seen him,” said the Reverend. “Now I’m back on my feet; I’ll cycle home and get ready to get to the pub later. Bye for now.”
With that, she was off. Gus opened his garden shed, found the tools he required, and set to work. Whatever was happening at seven o’clock, he couldn’t waste time thinking about it now. His vegetable patch needed work.
Suzie strolled up at a few minutes to seven, looking as fresh as a daisy.
“What’s going on?” he asked.
“Not much, by the looks of it. I thought you would have done more in an hour,” said Suzie.
“Am I okay to visit the pub in this state?” asked Gus, returning his tools to the shed.
“You’ll be alright for ten minutes,” said Suzie. “then you can dash back to the bungalow, and shower and change, while I enjoy a cold drink in the beer garden with the Reverend.”
“You’ve got it worked out, haven’t you?” said Gus.
“Someone has to. If we left it to you men, it wouldn’t get done.”
Gus bought the drinks and followed Suzie outside into the beer garden. Clemency was already there with Brett Penman. They both look pleased with themselves. Gus wondered whether they were making the announcement. An engagement, perhaps? They hadn’t been seeing one another long, but then who was he to judge?
“Hello, you two,” said Brett. “Glad you could make it.”
“Making it wasn’t a problem,” said Gus. “Understanding why we‘re here is another matter.”
Gus and Suzie took a seat next to Brett and Clemency.
“Busy day?” asked Brett.
“Challenging,” said Gus.
“Mr Freeman, Miss Ferris. I hoped you would be here.”
Bert Penman’s voice rang out from the pub doorway. Gus couldn’t be confident from this distance, but Bert appeared to be wearing a suit. When his old friend finally walked outside into the sunlight, Gus saw that Irene North had joined him. She must have dug deep in her wardrobe to find a dress he’d never seen her wear before. It knocked ten years off her.
Bert carried the tray with their drinks to the table, and when he and Irene were seated, Bert cleared his throat.
“We thought you four should hear the news from us before anyone in the village starts talking,” he said before taking a large sip of his pint of cider. “Irene agrees with me. It’s daft keeping two properties going when we spend so much time together. My place is big enough for two good friends to live under the same roof.”
“What other people think of what we plan to do doesn’t concern us,” said Irene. “We’ll save money, and we’re both sensible enough to realise that having someone around the place will be of benefit when one of us doesn’t feel so good.”
“It’s a great idea, whoever first thought of it,” said Gus. “I wish you both health and happiness. When the time comes, and you need someone to lend a hand, you know who to call.”
“We’re not staying after this drink, Mr Freeman,” said Irene. “There’s a programme on TV that Bertie and I want to watch.”
“I’ll walk up the lane with you,” said Gus. “I’m under orders to shower and change before they let me inside to eat.”
Bert never took long to demolish a pint, so Gus was on his way to the bungalow in a matter of minutes. Brett and Clemency agreed to keep Suzie company until he returned.
“We’ll cycle home at eight o’clock when you go for your meal,” said the Reverend. “I’ve got two eulogies to prepare for funerals tomorrow afternoon. Don’t worry, Gus. I’ll be extra-careful not to mix them
