Bliss jumped in on the pause. ‘Yeah. Exactly. They study my record, and what do they find? “This man clears cases… but hold on, what are all these black marks against him?”’
‘Don’t do yourself down. The good you’ve done more than outweighs the bad.’
‘I think so, too. I’m not convinced they’ll see things the same way, though. Not when presented with a way of showing me the exit door.’
‘Have you considered taking retirement and signing up as a consultant?’
‘Considered, and rejected. First of all, they’d get to choose when to use me, and where. I want to stay on in Major Crimes at Thorpe Wood. If I can’t have that, I might as well walk. But the real kicker would be being a civilian, having no powers of arrest, and not being out on the streets with you lot. I’d be stuck taking witness statements all day. No – give me my music, my fish, and my boat over that option, thanks.’
Chandler was quiet for a few seconds. A huge globe filled the space ahead of them, groups of people posing for photos around it. When she spoke next, her voice was soft and considered. ‘I notice you didn’t include Emily in that list. Twice you’ve mentioned relaxing with your music and your fish. You spoke about your garden, and this time you included your boat as well. But not Em.’
Bliss breathed out heavily. ‘Pen, I know you two have become friendly. You conspired with her to put the two of us back together again, so you feel as if you have skin in the game. But a square piece needs a square hole for a reason, and I’m still not sure that’s what we are to each other. Not that I’m saying we’re over; that’s not it at all.’
‘Fair enough. You clearly need to work that out between you. I won’t interfere.’
‘You? Not interfere? That’d be a first.’
She nudged him in the ribs. ‘Sod off! I can sit back and observe when I have to.’
‘I’m not convinced about that. Anyhow, all that shit is for another day.’
‘As is your future in the job. I don’t believe for one moment that you intend to walk away without a fight when the time comes.’
He puffed out his lips and waved it off. ‘All of that is ahead of me. I’ll be prepared.’
‘Without seeming as if I’m interfering moments after I said I wouldn’t, what does Em have to say about it? I bet she’d rather you pulled the plug on this life.’
‘We haven’t discussed it. It’s my concern, my decision.’
He was staring at a region on the globe, but Bliss could almost feel her eyes roll as she snapped back at him, ‘For goodness’ sake, Jimmy. What is wrong with you?’
‘What? I don’t know what you mean.’
‘Don’t give me that old cobblers. You need to grow up, old man. And fast. If you don’t, you might let her get away. You do that, and I guarantee you’ll regret it.’
‘This is you not interfering? I’d hate to think what you might say if you weren’t leaving it alone.’
‘Oh, balls! I only said that to shut you up. Jimmy, If you and Em are going to have any hope whatsoever, this is one of those discussions you have to have. Together.’
He shook his head. ‘It’s a decision I have to make about my future. What’s so hard to understand about that?’
This time she turned to confront him. ‘You’re not a stupid man, Jimmy – not that stupid, anyway. If you don’t take Emily into your confidence over a matter that’s going to have a direct impact on your future when you reach compulsory retirement age at sixty, what do you think that will tell her?’
‘I think–’
‘I’ll tell you what it will say to her: that you don’t see her as part of that future.’
‘You can’t answer your own questions, Pen. You’re supposed to wait for me to reply.’
‘I didn’t need you to reply. I was making a point. Let me tell you something – and please, for once do me a big favour and bloody well listen. You make that decision on your own and when she finds out, Emily will walk out of your life forever. Is that what you want?’
‘You don’t know that. You can’t possibly know that.’
‘Is it what you want?’
Bliss took a breath. He checked his watch and saw they were late for their meeting. Eventually he said, ‘I don’t know what I want. Okay? I really don’t know.’
Chandler nodded. ‘Then perhaps that’s all the answer you need.’
Four
They found Mazdaki waiting for them at a table in the Boosters café attached to the Soyuz lounge.
She stood to greet the two detectives, offering a shy smile. ‘It is good to see you, Mr Jimmy.’ Her eyes sparkled, and to his astonishment she wrapped her arms around him for a moment and laid her head against his shoulder. Small and slight, the young woman wore western clothing and nothing to conceal her hair.
‘You probably don’t remember me,’ Chandler said, accepting a brief embrace. ‘I’m DS Chandler.’
‘Miss Penny, yes? Of course I remember.’
Bliss found the café’s garish red seats an assault on the eyes, but the rocket and capsule parts suspended from the ceiling more than made up for it. He fetched them each a drink, arriving back at the table to find the young Iranian describing the various pieces on display around them. The three spent a few minutes idly chatting, but as Mazdaki was on a break, the conversation quickly became more formal. When Bliss mentioned the business card, she flashed a wide grin, dipped two fingers into her purse and pulled out the one he had handed her more than two years ago. It did not bear a single crease.
‘I would never give this to anybody else,’ she said. Her features became more earnest as she clutched
