“I’m going in there.”
Mrs. Garcia and Yolanda continued to glare at me hard, wishing my existence away, but didn’t try to stop me. Maybe they were even a little scared of me from my outburst.
Part of me feared what I would see in that bedroom. Would she be using a cross like a dildo like in the Director’s Cut version of The Exorcist? Did she try to seduce the priest? As far as I knew, Fernanda was still a virgin.
I opened the door to her room, determined not to be afraid. “Rhythm Is Gonna Get You” by Gloria Estefan and the Miami Sound Machine crashed and flooded around me. Her room was nicely decorated, unlike mine, which I painted to have the color and texture of cold stone, like a crypt. It wasn’t my intention at the time, but I thought it would look nice with the red curtains that matched my favorite pillowcases and sheets. Fernanda’s room was covered in white lace, with dolls she kept from her childhood, family photos, little gifts given to her for communion and birthdays. Like a museum to her life, and nearly spotless except for the debris from her hair and mud smudged on her windowsill.
Fernanda sat at her armoire untangling her dirty hair and singing to herself. The black makeup looked greasy on her unwashed skin. She looked up at me with a grin as wide as that first night.
“Here, let me help,” I offered as I moved to her side. Her pupils quivered; was it Fernanda or the inhabitant from the séance? I smiled and danced in place while smoothing out hair I hoped she would agree to wash.
“What did you tell the priest? He ran out fast,” I said, jokingly.
Her giggle sounded closer to a growl.
“I asked him if he wanted to eat my sin.” She opened her legs so I could see in the mirror she wasn’t wearing any underwear. “That man has just as much sin inside of him as everyone else. She told me. Who is he to tell me I’m evil? Who anointed him?”
I couldn’t argue with her. “He looked terrible when he came out. What did you do?”
She continued to tug on the frayed balls of tangled hair. “I don’t know. I didn’t do anything. She did. I can’t remember. As soon as I touched him, it was like being pulled under by big waves. The kind that leave you afraid, but excited. Saltwater in your nose, stinging your eyes as you roll around underwater. It happens so fast you don’t realize what’s happening. And then you come up for air. Anyway, he made it out of here alive. What’s the problem? Maybe he will be less of a jackass now.”
The boldness of my friend shocked me. I was the ill-tempered, foul-mouthed one. Fernanda was the brainy girl with a shy smile. In the back of my mind, I always felt concerned that Fernanda ran the risk of being taken advantage of or intimidated once she left for school. I worried she would meet a guy not as smart as her but who would want to own her, make her feel she wasn’t as capable as everyone knew she was. Or she would have a boss who would convince her the only way was the horizontal way because that’s how business is done.
Her hair was still a rat’s nest of dirt after what seemed like an eternity picking through it. It would take some time to untangle. As I started again at the crown of her head, she stopped me with her hand on mine. “Did you like it?”
“What do you mean?”
“Sex? Did you like it?”
“It was good. I think. I want more practice. You want to cleanse me of my sin?” I chuckled and danced in place to the beat of the music.
She turned back to the mirror to let me continue with her hair.
“No, silly. She says you don’t have the kind of sin she eats. But I want to go to Planeta tonight.”
I stopped plucking at her hair, trying to make eye contact through the mirror. Fernanda never wanted to go to Planeta. Correction: she was never allowed. Planeta is a small club off the River Walk that played the hottest Latin, freestyle, and hip-hop. They also served minors. The few times I went, I blew off as much steam as I could because I knew it might mean I would have to sleep on the side porch. If I came home past curfew, the chains on the inside of all the doors would be fastened in place. No one would wake up in the middle of the night to let me in. Texas summer nights remained warm, so it wasn’t that bad lying on a metal bench falling asleep to the stars. If someone snatched me in the night, it would be as if someone came to collect the trash.
“Fernanda, we can go, but you need to tell me who she is.”
Her pupils quivered, although they were still her own. “I don’t know, Lourdes. Honest. I don’t know. She isn’t bad to me or unkind, I promise, and she would never hurt you or the girls. I know that. She tried to tell me her name, but I couldn’t understand it. When she speaks in my head, I can hear her the way we speak now. Other times I go blank; the other language is too much for me. It’s like her language is in a different frequency.”
I knew she was telling me the truth, or at least believed what she was saying.
“What about you, Fernanda? I don’t want her to hurt you.” I bent forward towards the mirror with both hands flat against the top and met her gaze.
A flicker of light from her pupils made me draw back. Was it possible the two personalities were existing simultaneously? I held my fear close to me, like the priest with his Bible. There was nothing I could do in
