“I’m blacking out most of the time now. Please tell me what is happening!”
I am trying, Fernanda. These tales are from your ancestors, humans who worshipped me long ago. Their language and vision must be preserved in their tongue. I can feel your friends are close to understanding. I have attempted to touch the one you are closest with in her dreams.
“Is it working?” Fernanda asked.
I do not know. Time will tell. But I will admit, sometimes I forget how your time and aging are different from mine.
“Were you ever human? We don’t deal well with things we can’t control or see.”
I have never been human. Only adored by them. I have seen what the worst impulses are capable of but also envy the bodily experiences you enjoy yet take for granted.
“The things you have taught me. I want to act on them.”
With the young man Ruben?
“Yes.”
Then if he feels the same, have him with my blessing.
Fernanda could feel the warmth of the goddess receding.
Twelve a.m. glowed red. A shadow crossed Fernanda’s open blinds. Ruben stood there with his hand outstretched as he looked side to side. She opened the window wide enough to escape.
“I parked around the corner,” he whispered. “My truck makes way too much noise.”
Together they ran through the dark. Fernanda’s heart beat hard from running but also from knowing what she wanted from Ruben. They sat in the truck without him turning on the ignition.
“Where do you want to go?”
Fernanda placed her hand on Ruben’s thigh and then leaned over and kissed him. “Let’s go to Espada Park. No one is there and we can have a bit of privacy. I want you all for myself.”
They lay in the bed of his truck in the glow of a battery-operated lamp. Ruben had placed blankets on the hard metal. He breathed heavily next to her.
“Do it like this.” She guided his hand between her thighs, the way she did to herself.
“You feel so good, Fernanda. I can’t believe this is happening,” he moaned.
“Kiss me while you touch me,” she whispered.
Hungrily he placed his mouth on hers. His erection through his jeans rubbing against her thigh made her want to feel it in her hand. This made her even wetter, the friction from their intertwined fingers even more pleasurable. Round and round, slower and faster, until the sunburst exploded. She could feel Ruben shudder next to her. They both panted hot breath onto each other in their post-orgasm euphoria. Wilted in the best of ways.
“Fuck. I will have to say I spilled a drink in my lap in the drive-through if anyone sees me.” They both laughed and held each other.
Fernanda could feel herself drifting off in the dark, his body keeping her warm. “What time is it?”
He lifted his wrist, his face still nuzzled into her neck. “Almost two.”
“Shit. Need to get home.”
Ruben looked at her with a dreamy expression. “Sure thing.”
The drive back was quiet as she laid her head against the glass.
Ruben stopped just before her house. “I want to see you soon. Tomorrow? You know I leave soon, and I want to talk about whatever this is.” He seemed wide awake and eager.
“I also wanted to know if maybe you would consider coming to England with me. A visit at first. Maybe longer if you like it. I’ve been thinking about you a lot. You’re perfect to me, Fernanda.”
“I will let you know.” Fernanda reached for the door handle.
“All right. Be careful going inside. I don’t want to know what your mom would do to me if she caught us.”
The thought of her mother slightly spoiled the joy of the night. He was right, despite the fact that her mother adored Ruben.
“Bye, Ruben.” She jumped out of the high cab and ran to her bedroom window.
Damn. Fernanda had made sure to leave it open a crack but now it was closed. It wasn’t locked so she could still get in, but the noise might wake her mother. With both palms tucked beneath the ledge she pushed the window up as slowly as possible. No sound. Just a little wider and she would have enough room to slip in. Fernanda put one foot in and then ducked her head beneath the window. As she swung her other leg in, she grazed the corner of her bed. She let out a closed-mouth moan and squeezed her eyes shut. Then footsteps. Her insides trembled; she didn’t know what to say or do.
Goddess, I need your help! she silently screamed.
The light flicked on. Mrs. Garcia held her housecoat closed with one hand. The sound of a revving engine had woken her up. She stood at her bedroom door listening. A thump came from Fernanda’s room. Mrs. Garcia ran to her, flinging the door open. There stood her daughter, in front of the open window. She had a long red scrape on her leg.
“What are you doing? It is dangerous out there at night. Did those girls put you up to this? I should have never . . .”
As Mrs. Garcia hurried closer, Fernanda snapped her head towards her mother. But it was not Fernanda. Her eyes glittered bright yellow and green beneath the light. She made a hissing sound.
“El Diablo!” Mrs. Garcia screamed.
Fernanda grabbed her mother’s face, bringing it close to her own, and inhaled. Memory sparked like embers and blew into Fernanda’s mouth.
Mrs. Garcia could only stand there, feeling particles of her mind and heart float away. It was the one secret she kept. The most difficult. She wanted to cry, but it was done. She hoped whatever
