“Witchcraft. It could be a demon, Mrs. Garcia. Can you really trust her friend Lourdes or that professor? I have seen her books. They are about pagan beliefs. Old ways before the church. You need to be careful. How much do you really know? Just what they tell you?”
“I will keep an eye out, Father. Thank you.”
“That is what I am here for. You know where to find me.”
When Fernanda heard him say goodbye, she slipped back into her room as quietly as possible, inching the door closed to prevent the sound of the click. Flashes of memory made her head throb. The voice in her head spoke.
Fernanda, listen to me. Be careful around that man. I may have many powers; however, I cannot control those who are not willing. He is unpredictable. He seems to be, as you call it, possessed by his faith.
The voice paused.
Also, if you want me to leave you, I will.
Fernanda faced the window, her back to the door. Through the slits of the blinds she could see Father Moreno looking at their house, taking photos. He was an odd man.
“No. I don’t want you to go. Where would you go?”
I would try another host, but I have been searching and waiting for the right human and the right time. I have tried this before with others but none were as willing to host me as you.
“I will do as you say, but I know you are keeping things from me. I feel like I’m going crazy. Please let me in. I want to know what you know.
Tlazoltéotl was silent. Very well. I will start with the things at hand. What you need to know about what is happening in this time and place. Then I will show you the stories I have been telling through your voice in your dreams. When you sleep tonight, I will begin.
Fernanda was satisfied with that. Having a mind split in two would eventually drive her to the brink of sanity.
“One more thing. I can understand you, but the others can’t. Why is this?”
You understand me because I am inside of you. We are as one. And what I need them to hear should be pure. I want the stories heard in the original tongue. They come from your mouth as if you were me. That is why neither you nor they understand.
“I trust you, my friend. When will I stop feeling totally afraid and be strong like you?”
Allowing your fear to deter you is the only thing that should frighten you. You have a lot of power, Fernanda.
Fernanda glanced in her mirror and saw the caiman eyes of Tlazoltéotl, the sister she never had.
“You know, I think I love him. Ruben and I are so much alike, and he says he loves me, but I love myself more. I don’t want to give up my dreams and move to England.”
It’s okay, Fernanda. It is natural to love, to touch. To touch without love and experience the pleasures given to us is also fine.
“Tlazoltéotl. If I promised you my soul, would you help me succeed? I want to make my family proud. My friends all think I’m invincible and perfect. I just don’t want to let anyone down, and I’m so scared that I will. You can have my soul in exchange for this.”
The goddess was silent again.
My dear, I do not deal in the currency of souls. That is another god that I do not cross paths with. Besides, humans have this belief that the soul is theirs to give. It is not. It is part of something you could not even comprehend, and even as a goddess I would struggle to explain. I am part of it, too; however, I come from someplace very different. And you are already on a path to be successful in your own right. Don’t allow your self-doubt or fear to be stumbling blocks. You will find your success in being fearless.
“If you stay, will you just be a voice in my head?”
Yes and no. I would work through you. I told you I am here to eat sin, to tell the world stories from our ancestors, to give humans hope and reveal secrets from where I am from. All of this combined, like your friendships, is to prepare you all for the next phase of this world. Together, we would walk through the fires.
The truck waited for her as arranged. Fernanda could feel herself shaking inside, but that wasn’t distracting her. It was the ache, the wetness between her legs, the anticipation of what was about to happen. How good it was in her mind and every time they were together. Fernanda told the goddess to sleep that night. She wanted to be alone with Ruben, her first full sexual experience with a man.
She slipped out the window, looking both ways before dashing in the dark to the passenger side of the truck. Ruben looked so good. He smelled of a hint of cologne, sage and tobacco. Fernanda smiled, knowing he didn’t know that tonight she wanted to fuck him. His body inside of hers.
“You want to go to the same place? I think of it as our spot now.”
“You know I do.”
The streets were dark with a sheen of moonlight. The park was deserted. When he brought the truck to a stop, he left the radio on, tuned to an oldies station.
“Push your seat back.”
Ruben looked at her and half smiled. “This is new. Okay.”
Fernanda kicked off her flip flops and straddled Ruben. She brought her lips to his, the soft flesh she wanted more of. She wore nothing underneath her cotton slip dress that tied at the shoulder. She grabbed his hands, placing them on her waist underneath the dress so he could feel that nothing stood between them.
“Fernanda, are you sure? We have never . . . ”
“We have never because I wasn’t ready and last
time . . . just touch
