Dunc could have ordered whatever woman he wanted to be with him, but it would not have been real. There was a time when he had considered doing that. He wanted what everyone else around him had. He had found a girl he desperately wanted to be his. She was a Scion. She had the loveliest tan skin, brown eyes, and brilliant red hair. But she had rejected him in such a way that it had left permanent emotional scars. Those old wounds were being pried open by Amanda.
What Dunc had with Amanda was utterly different from anything he had felt before. He was afraid of rejection at any time. It would hurt much more if she turned him away.
Amanda was all-consuming and challenging. So challenging. He knew she cared about him but wasn’t sure how much or how far it would go. Maybe he had already ruined it all by having panic attacks around her and being his stupid self. That was who he was. His birthday always made him off-kilter.
She had asked him if he was courting her, and his answer should have been more than enough to get an answer from her. Amanda was still indecisive. If it had been a normal relationship, Dunc would have done what everyone in the world did to show love and affection. He would have showered her with gifts and attention. Something told him that would not be a good idea. That jerk Joseph had been there. He had destroyed and manipulated Amanda. Joseph had corrupted the very things that were meant to build trust. And he had hurt her.
Dunc’s lips turned up in a snarl, and he kicked at the underside of his table. Joseph had hurt Amanda. He had beaten the woman that Dunc cared most about, and he was going to try to hurt her again. Joseph’s goal was to take her in every way conceivable, and it brought a searing heat through Dunc. He stared at his desk and let it pass over and envelop him. Pure self-righteous anger told him he had every right to protect Amanda in any way possible.
A cold feeling suddenly replaced the emotion. Removing Joseph from their lives would change everything. But then strong, independent Amanda might decide she didn’t need Dunc at all. She would be free of Joseph and free to live her life without fear, possibly back where she had come from. Amanda would be happier with someone else. She might be using him right now for his protection.
Dunc sighed and leaned back into his chair with his thoughts. This wasn’t how it was supposed to be. Why couldn’t he be allowed to love someone and be loved back like it was supposed to be? Why was this so complicated? Why- Dunc caught a flicker of movement out of the corner of his eye. He immediately sat up in his chair.
Amanda had finally opened the blinds in her studio. She saw Dunc and began lifting them, opening her windows up like his were. She smiled and waved, and all the negative thoughts in Dunc’s head vanished as music filled his mind. “I’m a Believer,” burst through his head. Dunc smiled back and waved, scooting his chair closer to the cabinets that lined the wall. What did this woman do to him? One look, and she had full control of him.
Dunc watched curiously as Amanda lifted all the blinds. His mind was blank of anything that didn’t involve Amanda. She wasn’t mad at him or anything. Maybe she did have a lot of work to get done and wasn’t making excuses. Dunc got up and spun his chair out of the way. He began a very foolish display of dancing, pretending he was dancing with her to the music singing in his soul.
***
On a whim, Amanda went to the window beneath Dunc’s painting and peeked through the blinds. She had wanted to discretely see if she could get a glimpse of him in his studio. She tended to ignore the windows in her studio, but something drew her to look. She had been startled to see him in full view with every window in his studio open.
He was close enough that Amanda could see the anger and worry on his face. Their houses were not that far apart. Their mirror image layouts brought their studios close together. He looked so sad to Amanda, and she had an idea why. They had begun a relationship and had crossed over from being neighbors to being friends. From there, it was becoming something else. They held hands. They touched, and they kissed, and once they established that connection, it only had two directions.
Amanda immediately felt guilty. The look on his face was her fault. She had withdrawn out of doubt even though she knew she loved him. It was scary. But then she saw his face. She lifted the blind, and Dunc jumped the moment she did. She began raising all the blinds to do the same thing he had done. Amanda smiled and waved at him, hoping it would be a sign that everything was okay between them.
Then Dunc got up and began dancing. It was the most ridiculous thing Amanda had ever seen, but it was also sweet. She watched him for a few minutes with a smile on her face. The words from “I’m a Believer” began inexplicably playing in her mind in time with his movements. Then she realized that he was singing the song! That’s why it was in her head
Amanda
