I so desperately want to pull her into an embrace and tell her that everything will be okay. But how is one supposed to do that when it won’t?
“I dreamed of Ben last night.”
“Oh?”
“Yeah. I don’t remember it exactly, but just seeing him again was refreshing. Despite how long it’s been since he passed, it feels like yesterday and a lifetime ago all at the same time.”
Consoling Helena on the tragedy that stripped her of Benjamin Holmes seven years ago is like somebody consoling me about the abduction. As much as we appreciate it, it doesn’t matter what is said because the person is still gone and grieving continues.
Helena’s strength during the passing of her husband has always been inspiring. The way she continued to battle on and kept on keeping on, just like her motto. Seven years ago, Helena woke up to a knock on her door that sealed her fate. All it took was one knock and she became a widow at twenty-three years old with her almost four-year-old son in the blink of an eye. A week later, she found out she was expecting Daisy.
Ben Holmes was a firefighter and died in his line of duty. Helena Holmes is the toughest woman I know. She’s passionately dedicated with a bubbly and sarcastic charm. But deep down, I know her past still haunts her, even if she doesn’t always talk about it.
Helena’s always there for everybody. When I was expecting Addilyn, Giulio and I used to stay over at this exact house with the twins and babysit my niece and nephew just so she could get a few hours to herself. Our parents help her out too, but I always worry what’s happening beyond those sarcastic remarks and her giddy attitude.
I would do anything for Helena.
The way she has supported me these last few months…I can’t thank her enough. We’ve been each other’s rocks since day one. She made me realize I’m not alone in this, that she’ll always be here for me, as I’ll always be for her.
“Ben sees everything up there and he would be so proud of you for raising Daisy and Weston.” Our fingers intertwine and I pull her closer. “For your strength which inspires me to be better. For every single thing. I’m extremely proud of you too. You do so much for us. You deserve to find that happiness again.”
The fireplace’s glowing eruption of heat is mirrored in Helena’s glassy eyes. They water and overflow when her hands loosen in my grip and instead, she embraces me. I hold her tightly, both of our agonies blurring into one. My sister’s warmth provides me the strength to acknowledge it’s okay to be vulnerable, right here, alongside her.
It is okay.
“And so do you. We’ve been through enough suffering. You deserve the world, Lencia.”
“I feel as though I’m back in high school with these lunch dates!”
“Tell me about it! I’m getting the flashbacks already.” Kayla laughs as she pulls up a seat by my desk and plops her sandwich down. “Sad thing is, this used to be my exact lunch order.”
I draw the coffee to my lips but don’t take a sip yet. Instead, I grin. “Some things just don’t change, right?”
“Right! Just like my crush on my eleventh grade history teacher, Mr. Estevan. He was so young and handsome and ah! Anyway, guess who comes rolling into the office a couple months back? Yep, you guessed it…Estevan! He was there with his wife. I was so shocked when he recognized me. He’s still the same sexy mother fuc—”
“Now, now Kayla, where did the professionalism slip off to?” Bryce’s Cockney accent rumbles down the hall. He’s venturing our way, beaming as his gaze moves between us. “Did it run off with this Estevan to the Maldives? Or better yet…to Timbuktu?”
“You are so aggravating!” Kayla teases.
“Aggravating? Well, I guess that’s better than intolerable. Innit right, Valencia?”
I set down my coffee cup and lean forward, not expecting him to sit on the edge of my desk. Bryce lowers his head so we’re inches apart and those green eyes bore into mine. “Uh…”
“Ya scared to come to the lunchroom and hit me in the head with something else?”
Kayla jumps in before I have the chance. “Congratulations. You’ve just upgraded yourself to intolerable!”
“Nahhhh.” A chuckle escapes Bryce as he elongates the word with his breath. “Valencia, tell her I’m not as intimidating as I seem. Ya do believe that, right? Or ya think I’m a bad guy?”
“Well, Mr. McCarson I don’t know enough about you.”
“Oh? So ya think I’m bad?”
“I never said—”
“Uh-ah” He draws a cold finger down the center of my lips to silence me. That permanent smirk deepens into a full blown smile. “See, there’s a thing you’ll get to learn about me; I’m a stirrer so don’t take offense to anything I say. I’m only playing, but right now you’re looking at me with eyes that tell me you are intimidated by me. Why? Do I scare ya?”
Scare me?
This man doesn’t scare me. Sure, Bryce may be intimating, but it’s just that I’ve never crossed somebody like him before. It’s my second day working with him and I still can’t figure him out. There’s something in the way he strings his words together that feels as though a wall is coming up and it becomes harder to zone into who he really is.
“I’m not scared,” I openly admit when his finger glides away. “I just don’t know you.”
Bryce stares into the distance and for a moment his composure drops. “Not many people do. Not many people want to know.”
“I do.”
“Why?”
Why?
The question stumps me because even though it’s a straightforward one, I can’t help but notice the change in his demeanor. Apart from his tense shoulders, his entire body seems on edge now. The ‘why?’ he muttered seconds ago wasn’t in that usual cheerful tone, it was rough and toxin laced.
Kayla shrugs it off and motions for me to
