“Make me forget him. Make love to me.”
For. The. Love. Of. God.
My heart picks up speed and I’m left parting my lips. I want nothing more than to hold her. To make this right. To sink into her after all this time. But I am not going to touch her. Not until she is sober. Not until we resolve all of our issues and sex is something we both crave.
Not until she wants me again like I want her.
“I can give you everything but that tonight. You’re under the influence, Valencia.”
Although that didn’t stop one fucker.
“Fine.” She sniffles, reeking of wine. “A shower.”
“It’s not the best idea while drunk.”
She frowns. “I don’t want him on me.”
Dio.
“I’m scared that you’ll fall and god forbid break something.” I brush her hair away from her neck, mentally kicking myself that he was right there. I’m somber for her. For everything she endured. “Okay, fine. You can shower, but I’ll wait outside the door just in case you need me. Call out if you need help.”
Valencia smiles weakly. “Giulio?”
“Mmhmm.”
“Thank you for always being a gentleman.”
Now it’s my turn to smile. “Yeah, you’re definitely drunk if you’re complimenting me.”
And that’s how it goes. I assist her into the bathroom and slide closed the pocket door. I’m left holding my breath until I hear the water running. She’s safe.
I can’t believe this happened.
After this, Valencia needs to get some rest. In my bed. I’ll take the guest bedroom.
Raking a hand through my hair, I play out the entire night in my head.
I want her.
All of her.
I don’t expect myself to admit it, but something changed for me the day she told me she was scared that she wouldn’t be enough if the anti-depressants don’t help. The comment felt like somebody stabbed me in the heart and I finally saw Valencia’s depression in the same light as she did. I saw the pain in her eyes and the way her body trembled when I wrapped her in my arms. That’s why I sent her that book and wrote those words. I know it won’t solve everything, but it’s a step.
It’s something.
Something to remind her that I’m right here with her; I’m not going to run away. I’m not going to give up. No matter how hard some days will be—I will always be here for her.
Valencia wants to push me away because she’s scared. She trusts hope because she fears the opposite…Addilyn being dead. She’s an artist. A creator. Somebody who always believes in silver linings. I’m the opposite. I give in to the most probable prospect because that is what my career relies on me to do.
I realized something holding her moments ago. She thinks the anti-depressants will be her cure, and although they will help, from experience I know they won’t be enough. I want to be her cure, but I can’t. Ultimately, it’s Valencia herself. She needs to be her own cure. She needs to be the one to rise above. I know it’s easier said than done. I get it. That’s why I’m going to help her through it and will never let her go, especially not when she’s pushing me away.
I need Valencia.
Our children need Valencia.
But most importantly, Valencia needs Valencia.
My body freezes at a crashing sound beyond the door. “Valencia! Everything alright?”
A few seconds pass with my heartbeat in my ears.
“Yep. Just, walked into the stool step.”
You mean step stool, darling. I knew this wasn’t a good idea. For her sake, I persist, however, the damn anticipation’s going to kill me. Wait…why is she even outside the shower when the water is still going?
Give her a few minutes, Giannotti.
She’s okay.
She’ll call out if she needs anything.
I haven’t checked on the kids in the past half hour. That is what the abduction has driven me to; checking on them over and over again. I check on them now, kissing their foreheads. I hope they never know the man I am when people hurt the ones I love, the man I was days after Addilyn’s disappearance, the man I was earlier at The Red Tavern.
I was able to put myself together again for them.
For Valencia and them.
I have flaws. Deep lies I have kept hidden, even from Valencia. My only hope is that if I ever do choose to speak about it, it will be on my terms.
Twenty minutes have passed now. I lean against the door, my fingers fanning out against the cream paint. “Valencia? You okay?”
I get nothing and become concerned. The water is still running. I call out her name louder for a second time. Perhaps she didn’t hear me the first time. There’s still no response. I don’t wait a third time and slide the door open.
Thank God.
Valencia leans against the shower wall. Her hands press against the charcoal tiles, as if they are the only things holding her up. She hasn’t seen me enter, but her sobs deliver straight to my heart. I know they aren’t only for what happened with Bryce. It’s for Addilyn too. A selfish part of me wants to say they’re also because of us.
It aches to witness her pain and agony unfold in front of me. If warmth and comfort are all I can provide tonight, hopefully it will be enough to settle her turmoil and the desperate pieces inside me.
Her nakedness is on full display. Her light olive toned skin, those soft, ample breasts…It’s another first in a long time. I don’t gawk. I don’t take advantage. I keep my gaze on her face and unbutton my shirt. I shrug it off and keep going, stripping away every last piece of clothing.
This can ruin everything.
It can make it worse.
Or it can change everything for the better.
My mind is in shreds. I will never forget this moment for
