16
HUCK
I’d barely gotten out of the shower when I got a text from Noreen letting me know Lynn Bunker called in to make a police report that her car had been stolen from the grocery store parking lot.
Water dripped down my back as I sent her a 10-4 back, informing her I saw the message. She hadn’t texted for me to be on the lookout for the fancy car. I was sure it was on to some chop shop somewhere by now. She’d texted because she knew I was with Sarah and probably wanted to tell her. We hadn’t talked about how close she was with Lynn these days, but we’d get there. I also thought that Bunky’d had some pretty shitty luck this weekend.
I was halfway to the barn in fresh jeans, T-shirt, and boots when I got another text, this one from Thatcher. Sarah was crying and had ducked out the back side of the stable. I couldn’t imagine how a five-year-old and a bunch of puppies would upset her, but she and I had dealt with some heavy shit the past few days.
I’d gotten two texts in about fifteen minutes. It wasn’t impossible that her dad had reached out and fucked with her some more.
I picked up my pace and detoured around the building instead of going inside, knowing my brother would take care of Claire. I stopped when I saw Sarah in the distance, sitting on a boulder in the middle of the field.
The sun made her hair look like threads of gold, and the way it caught the breeze… she was perfect here. She’d been on the ranch before, so long ago now. I’d wanted her here. Saw her being on the ranch permanently.
I headed in her direction again and dropped down beside her on the warmed rock. Our sides touched. She wasn’t crying, but the evidence of it was there. Flushed cheeks, red eyes. A bleakness about her that said she carried something heavy. I wanted to take it from her. All her problems. I was fucking strong enough to do it.
“Baby girl, what’s the matter?”
She tilted her head, rested it against my shoulder. “Claire’s perfect.”
I couldn’t help but smile. “I think so.”
“You better put a collar on one of those puppies soon, otherwise she’s going to want to keep them all. Even the black one.”
“You mean Sandy, Sandra, Sandrine, Sandor, and—”
“Sandor?” She looked up, a pale brow arched.
“Colonel Sanders?” I added, hoping to make her smile.
“She’s so smart, Huck. I bet she’s going to figure out how to tuck that dog into her backpack and take her to kindergarten.”
I tipped her chin up with my finger. “I took a frog. Thatcher somehow took the feral barn cat.”
“It runs in the family then.” Her smile slipped, and her gaze shifted away.
“Look at me,” I murmured. It took a few seconds, but she glanced back. “What’s the matter?”
“I… I have something to tell you.” She pulled at my hold, and I dropped my hand.
I braced myself, unsure of what she was going to say. Whatever it was—and it seemed bad if it made her cry—we’d deal with it together. I waited, recognizing I needed to be patient.
“You were it for me.”
My stomach dropped. “Baby girl, I am it for you.”
“When you left, I was destroyed. At first I thought you were just chicken.”
I frowned and it actually made her smile.
“I thought you were pushing me away because you couldn’t handle it. In the back of your pickup, we’d just—”
“I took your cherry. As I did so, I said you were mine.”
“I know,” she whispered.
“You didn’t believe me?” I reached up, stroked her hair back.
“In the moment I did. It was perfect, Huck. But after, I thought… I don’t know what I thought. The next summer when I came home, you had Claire.”
“We talked this through already,” I said. It had been hard enough in her kitchen. Doing it again now was like messing with a wound and keeping it from healing.
“Remember I said I thought you left me and slept with someone else right after?”
“It wasn’t true,” I reminded.
“I thought you got someone pregnant.”
“I didn’t.”
“You had a baby.” She glanced away. “Without me.”
I stilled.
“Sarah,” I murmured, kissing the top of her head. “You want to make a baby? We’ll have as many as you want.”
Tears filled her eyes. “I made a baby.” Her blue gaze lifted to mine. “With you.”
I stared at her. Confused. “What?”
“That night, I got pregnant.”
I hopped up as if the rock was made of lava. Walked away, then spun around and came back. “You… we… what?”
She cried now, but I couldn’t go to her. Not yet. I didn’t understand.
“I found out I was pregnant after I moved into the dorm. But I miscarried a few weeks later.”
The feeling… fuck. There was a piece of me I didn’t even know I had inside that revealed itself now. It hurt. Throbbed. Ached.
I went to her, dropped down onto the grass in front of her feet. “Baby girl. Oh God.” I ran a hand over my face. She’d been pregnant. Alone. Lost the baby. And me. “I’m sorry. I’m so, so sorry.”
I pulled her into my arms so she was in my lap. I held her tight as she cried, as I mourned the loss of a baby I’d never even known we’d made. Then it all became clear.
“Claire would be the same age.”
She nodded against my chest, wiped her nose on
