The thought of returning to the shores of County Clare sends too many emotions crashing through me like a storm, orchestrating waves against the rocks.
I stay in my room, and the door remains open. I often hear Pavel’s footsteps; he’s the only one who seems to move around. Michail leaves my door when the third security guard takes his place. Time passes in a blur, and fear keeps squeezing me until I’m mentally exhausted.
It’s Pavel with his soft brown eyes who brings me food. I eat it all. I taste nothing and have to force each swallow down. I make sure nothing is left on the plate.
I’m surprised when clothes arrive. Pavel once again is the one who brings them in.
He doesn’t speak but lays all the bags on the bed and leaves. I check through the bags of colors and find the darkest outfit. Pants weren't something I had been given the privilege to wear. Dresses were all we wore. I don’t think as I take out fresh undergarments. I don’t think about who picked the black lacy material out but put them on before I slip each leg into tight black pants. I’ve done this before.
Before they took my life from me, I don’t allow myself to go back. I need to stay focused. I need to warn my family. Next, I find a dark shirt, it has small white dots, but it is the best out of the sea of blue and purple that was bought for me.
I take out a pair of shoes that have the smallest heel and leave them to the side. I would wait until I was leaving before putting them on. I don’t find a jacket, so I place the bags on the floor, lining them up in front of the wardrobe. I go back to listening to footsteps and anything that can be useful.
No one speaks. There is a static that buzzes in and out between the headsets that I’ve seen the men wear, but that’s it.
More food is offered, and it’s Pavel who brings it to me.
He lays the tray down on a bedside table.
“Thank you,” I whisper while giving him a soft smile. “You’re very kind.”
He pauses and looks at me. He’s unsure, and I let my smile grow wider while half-closing my lids. I’m the image of innocence. It's a look we learned to master.
“Do you want anything else?”
It works. “No, thank you. This is great.” I let my lids flutter closed, and Pavel leaves with hesitation in his steps. Once he’s gone, I start to eat. Michail looks at me, and I don’t think any amount of fluttering eyelids would make him bend, but Pavel has a softness that I’ll take advantage of.
I push aside the Handler’s and Igor’s faces. I was dancing with the devil, and I already understood what it felt like to get burned.
I roll my shoulder like I can feel the lick of flames. I hadn’t lied to Lucca when I told him that I had been disobedient. It just wasn’t something that should have happened. Veronika was the woman’s name. She didn’t like that I refused to strip and bathe. Being ten and terrified out of my wits didn’t ease her harshness; that and the language barrier had me disorientated and terrified.
The food churns in my stomach, and I stand up and wash it down with the glass of milk. I can do this.
“I’m going to the bathroom,” I speak to Michail’s back. He doesn’t respond, but I know he’s heard me.
I go into the bathroom and relieve myself before I start my search. I find nothing useful. I wasn’t a fighter, but I felt I needed something for when I left here tonight. There would be fewer guards, and all I could hope for was Pavel was the one who either volunteered or was left behind.
I listen for his clunky shoes, but I don’t hear anything. Leaving the bathroom, I return to the bedroom and sit and wait for the night to come.
CHAPTER FIVE
LUCCA
I’ve sent the men home, and all I have to do now is wait. She isn’t asleep. I check my watch. It’s two in the morning. She’s moved around the room a few times, even ventured out into the hall. I’ve left a hall light on, so she can see, but not enough that she can see me.
I’m sitting on the couch in the corner of the room, shrouded in darkness and like anything: give a man enough rope, and he’ll hang himself. Evie doesn’t disappoint as she tiptoes down the hall. She pauses in the main room and stays frozen for a few minutes. It’s impressive how she molds herself into the darkness. Closing my eyes, my hearing amplifies, and her shallow, harsh breaths tell me where she is.
I want to stand up and ask her what she is doing. But the chase is more alluring. The elevator doors slide open, and I open my eyes as light floods the hallway. Evie steps in, her finger pressing the buttons repeatedly like she might be able to get the door closed faster than it’s operating.
I gather my suit jacket off the couch and arm myself as I make my way to the elevator. I don’t have to press anything; it automatically comes back up. When the doors open, I step into the empty metal box.
The lobby downstairs is empty. She’s moving faster than I anticipated. Leaving the building, I look left and right through the sheets of rain that fall with one purpose only, to drench anyone stupid enough to step into it.
Movement across from the building has me pausing. She has no jacket, and the light shirt she’s wearing
