you did! Do you mean to say you didn’t try to marry me?”
“No—of course—”
“Yes, you’d better admit it! You tried it, and now what are you going to do? Do you know my father’s nearly crazy? It’ll serve you right if he tries to kill you. He’ll take his gun and put some cold steel in you. Even if this wed—this thing can be annulled it’ll hang over me all the rest of my life!”
Perry could not resist quoting softly: “ ‘Oh, camel, wouldn’t you like to belong to the pretty snake-charmer for all your—’ ”
“Shut-up!” cried Betty.
There was a pause.
“Betty,” said Perry finally, “there’s only one thing to do that will really get us out clear. That’s for you to marry me.”
“Marry you!”
“Yes. Really it’s the only—”
“You shut up! I wouldn’t marry you if—if—”
“I know. If I were the last man on earth. But if you care anything about your reputation—”
“Reputation!” she cried. “You’re a nice one to think about my reputation now. Why didn’t you think about my reputation before you hired that horrible Jumbo to—to—”
Perry tossed up his hands hopelessly.
“Very well. I’ll do anything you want. Lord knows I renounce all claims!”
“But,” said a new voice, “I don’t.”
Perry and Betty started, and she put her hand to her heart.
“For Heaven’s sake, what was that?”
“It’s me,” said the camel’s back.
In a minute Perry had whipped off the camel’s skin, and a lax, limp object, his clothes hanging on him damply, his hand clenched tightly on an almost empty bottle, stood defiantly before them.
“Oh,” cried Betty, “you brought that object in here to frighten me! You told me he was deaf—that awful person!”
The camel’s back sat down on a chair with a sigh of satisfaction.
“Don’t talk ’at way about me, lady. I ain’t no person. I’m your husband.”
“Husband!”
The cry was wrung simultaneously from Betty and Perry.
“Why, sure. I’m as much your husband as that gink is. The smoke didn’t marry you to the camel’s front. He married you to the whole camel. Why, that’s my ring you got on your finger!”
With a little yelp she snatched the ring from her finger and flung it passionately at the floor.
“What’s all this?” demanded Perry dazedly.
“Jes’ that you better fix me an’ fix me right. If you don’t I’m a-gonna have the same claim you got to bein’ married to her!”
“That’s bigamy,” said Perry, turning gravely to Betty.
Then came the supreme moment of Perry’s evening, the ultimate chance on which he risked his fortunes. He rose and looked first at Betty, where she sat weakly, aghast at this new complication, and then at the individual who swayed from side to side on his chair, uncertainly, menacingly.
“Very well,” said Perry slowly to the individual, “you can have her. Betty, I’m going to prove to you that as far as I’m concerned our marriage was entirely accidental. I’m going to renounce utterly my rights to have you as my wife, and give you to—to the man whose ring you wear—your lawful husband.”
There was a pause and four horror-stricken eyes were turned on him.
“Goodbye, Betty,” he said brokenly. “Don’t forget me in your newfound happiness. I’m going to leave for the Far West on the morning train. Think of me kindly, Betty.”
With a last glance at them he turned and his head rested on his chest as his hand touched the doorknob.
“Goodbye,” he repeated. He turned the doorknob.
But at this sound the snakes and silk and tawny hair precipitated themselves violently toward him.
“Oh, Perry, don’t leave me! Perry, Perry, take me with you!”
Her tears flowed damply on his neck. Calmly he folded his arms about her.
“I don’t care,” she cried. “I love you and if you can wake up a minister at this hour and have it done over again I’ll go West with you.”
Over her shoulder the front part of the camel looked at the back part of the camel—and they exchanged a particularly subtle, esoteric sort of wink that only true camels can understand.
Bernice Bobs Her Hair
I
After dark on Saturday night one could stand on the first tee of the golf-course and see the country-club windows as a yellow expanse over a very black and wavy ocean. The waves of this ocean, so to speak, were the heads of many curious caddies, a few of the more ingenious chauffeurs, the golf professional’s deaf sister—and there were usually several stray, diffident waves who might have rolled inside had they so desired. This was the gallery.
The balcony was inside. It consisted of the circle of wicker chairs that lined the wall of the combination clubroom and ballroom. At these Saturday-night dances it was largely feminine; a great babel of middle-aged ladies with sharp eyes and icy hearts behind lorgnettes and large bosoms. The main function of the balcony was critical, it occasionally showed grudging admiration, but never approval, for it is well known among ladies over thirty-five that when the younger set dance in the summertime it is with the very worst intentions in the world, and if they are not bombarded with stony eyes stray couples will dance weird barbaric interludes in the corners, and the more popular, more dangerous, girls will sometimes be kissed in the parked limousines of unsuspecting dowagers.
But, after all, this critical circle is not close enough to the stage to see the actors’ faces and catch the subtler byplay. It can only frown and lean, ask questions and make satisfactory deductions from its set of postulates, such as the one which states that every young man with a large income leads the life of a hunted partridge. It never really appreciates the drama of the shifting, semi-cruel world of adolescence. No; boxes, orchestra-circle, principals, and chorus be represented by the medley of faces and voices that sway to the plaintive African rhythm of Dyer’s dance orchestra.
From sixteen-year-old Otis Ormonde, who has two more years at Hill School, to G. Reece Stoddard, over whose bureau at home hangs a Harvard law diploma;
