The Doctor’s Dilemma

hotel. They watch her in silence. Ridgeon When she is gone. Do you realize, chaps, that we have promised Mrs. Dubedat to save this fellow’s life? Blenkinsop What’s the matter with him? Ridgeon Tuberculosis. Blenkinsop Interested. And can you cure that? Ridgeon I believe so. Blenkinsop Then I wish you’d cure me. My right lung is touched, I’m sorry to say. All together: Ridgeon What! Your lung is going? B.B. My dear Blenkinsop, what do you tell me? Full of concern for Blenkinsop he comes back from the balustrade. Sir Patrick Eh? Eh? What’s that? Walpole Hullo, you mustn’t neglect this, you know. Blenkinsop Putting his fingers in his ears. No, no: it’s no use. I know what you’re going to say: I’ve said it often to others. I can’t afford to take care of myself; and there’s an end of it. If a fortnight’s holiday would save my life, I’d have to die. I shall get on as others have to get on. We can’t all go to St. Moritz or to Egypt, you know, Sir Ralph. Don’t talk about it. Embarrassed silence. Sir Patrick Grunts and looks hard at Ridgeon. ! Schutzmacher Looking at his watch and rising. I must go. It’s been a very pleasant evening, Colly. You might let me have my portrait if you don’t mind. I’ll send Mr. Dubedat that couple of sovereigns for it. Ridgeon Giving him the menu card. Oh don’t do that, Loony. I don’t think he’d like that. Schutzmacher Well, of course I shan’t if you feel that way about it. But I don’t think you understand Dubedat. However, perhaps that’s because I’m a Jew. Good night, Dr. Blenkinsop shaking hands. Blenkinsop Good night, sir⁠—I mean⁠—Good night. Schutzmacher Waving his hand to the rest. Goodnight, everybody. Walpole, B.B., Sir Patrick, Ridgeon Good night. B.B. repeats the salutation several times, in varied musical tones. Schutzmacher goes out. Sir Patrick It’s time for us all to move. He rises and comes between Blenkinsop and Walpole. Ridgeon also rises. Mr. Walpole: take Blenkinsop home: he’s had enough of the open air cure for tonight. Have you a thick overcoat to wear in the motor, Dr. Blenkinsop? Blenkinsop Oh, they’ll give me some brown paper in the hotel; and a few thicknesses of brown paper across the chest are better than any fur coat. Walpole Well, come along. Good night, Colly. You’re coming with us, aren’t you, B.B.? B.B. Yes: I’m coming. Walpole and Blenkinsop go into the hotel. Good night, my dear Ridgeon shaking hands affectionately. Don’t let us lose sight of your interesting patient and his very charming wife. We must not judge him too hastily, you know. With unction. Gooooooood-night, Paddy. Bless you, dear old chap. Sir Patrick utters a formidable grunt. B.B. laughs and pats him indulgently on the shoulder. Good night. Good night. Good night. Good night. He good nights himself into the hotel. The others have meanwhile gone without ceremony. Ridgeon and Sir Patrick are left alone together. Ridgeon, deep in thought, comes down to Sir Patrick. Sir Patrick Well, Mr. Savior of Lives: which is it to be? that honest decent man Blenkinsop, or that rotten blackguard of an artist, eh? Ridgeon It’s not an easy case to judge, is it? Blenkinsop’s an honest decent man; but is he any use? Dubedat’s a rotten blackguard; but he’s a genuine source of pretty and pleasant and good things. Sir Patrick What will he be a source of for that poor innocent wife of his, when she finds him out? Ridgeon That’s true. Her life will be a hell. Sir Patrick And tell me this. Suppose you had this choice put before you: either to go through life and find all the pictures bad but all the men and women good, or to go through life and find all the pictures good and all the men and women rotten. Which would you choose? Ridgeon That’s a devilishly difficult question, Paddy. The pictures are so agreeable, and the good people so infernally disagreeable and mischievous, that I really can’t undertake to say offhand which I should prefer to do without. Sir Patrick Come come! none of your cleverness with me: I’m too old for it. Blenkinsop isn’t that sort of good man; and you know it. Ridgeon It would be simpler if Blenkinsop could paint Dubedat’s pictures. Sir Patrick It would be simpler still if Dubedat had some of Blenkinsop’s honesty. The world isn’t going to be made simple for you, my lad: you must take it as it is. You’ve to hold the scales between Blenkinsop and Dubedat. Hold them fairly. Ridgeon Well, I’ll be as fair as I can. I’ll put into one scale all the pounds Dubedat has borrowed, and into the other all the half-crowns that Blenkinsop hasn’t borrowed. Sir Patrick And you’ll take out of Dubedat’s scale all the faith he has destroyed and the honor he has lost, and you’ll put into Blenkinsop’s scale all the faith he has justified and the honor he has created. Ridgeon Come come, Paddy! none of your claptrap with me: I’m too sceptical for it. I’m not at all convinced that the world wouldn’t be a better world if everybody behaved as Dubedat does than it is now that everybody behaves as Blenkinsop does. Sir Patrick Then why don’t you behave as Dubedat does? Ridgeon Ah, that beats me. That’s the experimental test. Still, it’s a dilemma. It’s a dilemma. You see there’s a complication we haven’t mentioned. Sir Patrick What’s that? Ridgeon Well, if I let Blenkinsop die, at least nobody can say I did it because I wanted to marry his widow. Sir Patrick Eh? What’s that? Ridgeon Now if I let Dubedat die, I’ll marry his widow. Sir Patrick Perhaps she won’t have you, you know. Ridgeon With a self-assured shake of the head. I’ve a pretty good flair for that sort of thing. I know when a woman is interested in me. She is. Sir Patrick Well, sometimes