The Doctor’s Dilemma

rises. Louis Oh, certainly. I’ve quite done with you. Rising and holding up the sketch block. There! While you’ve been talking, I’ve been doing. What is there left of your moralizing? Only a little carbonic acid gas which makes the room unhealthy. What is there left of my work? That. Look at it. Ridgeon rises to look at it. Sir Patrick Who has come down to him from the throne. You young rascal, was it drawing me you were? Louis Of course. What else? Sir Patrick Takes the drawing from him and grunts approvingly. That’s rather good. Don’t you think so, Lolly? Ridgeon Yes. So good that I should like to have it. Sir Patrick Thank you; but I should like to have it myself. What d’ye think, Walpole? Walpole Rising and coming over to look. No, by Jove: I must have this. Louis I wish I could afford to give it to you, Sir Patrick. But I’d pay five guineas sooner than part with it. Ridgeon Oh, for that matter, I will give you six for it. Walpole Ten. Louis I think Sir Patrick is morally entitled to it, as he sat for it. May I send it to your house, Sir Patrick, for twelve guineas? Sir Patrick Twelve guineas! Not if you were President of the Royal Academy, young man. He gives him back the drawing decisively and turns away, taking up his hat. Louis To B.B.. Would you like to take it at twelve, Sir Ralph? B.B. Coming between Louis and Walpole. Twelve guineas? Thank you: I’ll take it at that. He takes it and presents it to Sir Patrick. Accept it from me, Paddy; and may you long be spared to contemplate it. Sir Patrick Thank you. He puts the drawing into his hat. B.B. I needn’t settle with you now, Mr. Dubedat: my fees will come to more than that. He also retrieves his hat. Louis Indignantly. Well, of all the mean⁠—! Words fail him. I’d let myself be shot sooner than do a thing like that. I consider you’ve stolen that drawing. Sir Patrick Drily. So we’ve converted you to a belief in morality after all, eh? Louis Yah! To Walpole. I’ll do another one for you, Walpole, if you’ll let me have the ten you promised. Walpole Very good. I’ll pay on delivery. Louis Oh! What do you take me for? Have you no confidence in my honor? Walpole None whatever. Louis Oh well, of course if you feel that way, you can’t help it. Before you go, Sir Patrick, let me fetch Jennifer. I know she’d like to see you, if you don’t mind. He goes to the inner door. And now, before she comes in, one word. You’ve all been talking here pretty freely about me⁠—in my own house too. I don’t mind that: I’m a man and can take care of myself. But when Jennifer comes in, please remember that she’s a lady, and that you are supposed to be gentlemen. He goes out. Walpole Well!!! He gives the situation up as indescribable, and goes for his hat. Ridgeon Damn his impudence! B.B. I shouldn’t be at all surprised to learn that he’s well connected. Whenever I meet dignity and self-possession without any discoverable basis, I diagnose good family. Ridgeon Diagnose artistic genius, B.B. That’s what saves his self-respect. Sir Patrick The world is made like that. The decent fellows are always being lectured and put out of countenance by the snobs. B.B. Altogether refusing to accept this. I am not out of countenance. I should like, by Jupiter, to see the man who could put me out of countenance. Jennifer comes in. Ah, Mrs. Dubedat! And how are we today? Mrs. Dubedat Shaking hands with him. Thank you all so much for coming. She shakes Walpole’s hand. Thank you, Sir Patrick she shakes Sir Patrick’s. Oh, life has been worth living since I have known you. Since Richmond I have not known a moment’s fear. And it used to be nothing but fear. Won’t you sit down and tell me the result of the consultation? Walpole I’ll go, if you don’t mind, Mrs. Dubedat. I have an appointment. Before I go, let me say that I am quite agreed with my colleagues here as to the character of the case. As to the cause and the remedy, that’s not my business: I’m only a surgeon; and these gentlemen are physicians and will advise you. I may have my own views: in fact I have them; and they are perfectly well known to my colleagues. If I am needed⁠—and needed I shall be finally⁠—they know where to find me; and I am always at your service. So for today, goodbye. He goes out, leaving Jennifer much puzzled by his unexpected withdrawal and formal manner. Sir Patrick I also will ask you to excuse me, Mrs. Dubedat. Ridgeon Anxiously. Are you going? Sir Patrick Yes: I can be of no use here; and I must be getting back. As you know, ma’am, I’m not in practice now; and I shall not be in charge of the case. It rests between Sir Colenso Ridgeon and Sir Ralph Bloomfield Bonington. They know my opinion. Good afternoon to you, ma’am. He bows and makes for the door. Mrs. Dubedat Detaining him. There’s nothing wrong, is there? You don’t think Louis is worse, do you? Sir Patrick No: he’s not worse. Just the same as at Richmond. Mrs. Dubedat Oh, thank you: you frightened me. Excuse me. Sir Patrick Don’t mention it, ma’am. He goes out. B.B. Now, Mrs. Dubedat, if I am to take the patient in hand⁠— Mrs. Dubedat Apprehensively, with a glance at Ridgeon. You! But I thought that Sir Colenso⁠— B.B. Beaming with the conviction that he is giving her a most gratifying surprise. My dear lady, your husband shall have Me. Mrs. Dubedat But⁠— B.B. Not a word: it is a