The Doctor’s Dilemma

that blinds them to the souls of men and women. You made a dreadful mistake about Louis; but you would not have made it if you had not trained yourself to make the same mistake about dogs. You saw nothing in them but dumb brutes; and so you could see nothing in him but a clever brute. Ridgeon With sudden resolution. I made no mistake whatever about him. Jennifer Oh, doctor! Ridgeon Obstinately. I made no mistake whatever about him. Jennifer Have you forgotten that he died? Ridgeon With a sweep of his hand towards the pictures. He is not dead. He is there. Taking up the book. And there. Jennifer Springing up with blazing eyes. Put that down. How dare you touch it? Ridgeon, amazed at the fierceness of the outburst, puts it down with a deprecatory shrug. She takes it up and looks at it as if he had profaned a relic. Ridgeon I am very sorry. I see I had better go. Jennifer Putting the book down. I beg your pardon. I forgot myself. But it is not yet⁠—it is a private copy. Ridgeon But for me it would have been a very different book. Jennifer But for you it would have been a longer one. Ridgeon You know then that I killed him? Jennifer Suddenly moved and softened. Oh, doctor, if you acknowledge that⁠—if you have confessed it to yourself⁠—if you realize what you have done, then there is forgiveness. I trusted in your strength instinctively at first; then I thought I had mistaken callousness for strength. Can you blame me? But if it was really strength⁠—if it was only such a mistake as we all make sometimes⁠—it will make me so happy to be friends with you again. Ridgeon I tell you I made no mistake. I cured Blenkinsop: was there any mistake there? Jennifer He recovered. Oh, don’t be foolishly proud, doctor. Confess to a failure, and save our friendship. Remember, Sir Ralph gave Louis your medicine; and it made him worse. Ridgeon I can’t be your friend on false pretences. Something has got me by the throat: the truth must come out. I used that medicine myself on Blenkinsop. It did not make him worse. It is a dangerous medicine: it cured Blenkinsop: it killed Louis Dubedat. When I handle it, it cures. When another man handles it, it kills⁠—sometimes. Jennifer Naively: not yet taking it all in. Then why did you let Sir Ralph give it to Louis? Ridgeon I’m going to tell you. I did it because I was in love with you. Jennifer Innocently surprised. In lo⁠—You! an elderly man! Ridgeon Thunderstruck, raising his fists to heaven. Dubedat: thou art avenged! He drops his hands and collapses on the bench. I never thought of that. I suppose I appear to you a ridiculous old fogey. Jennifer But surely⁠—I did not mean to offend you, indeed⁠—but you must be at least twenty years older than I am. Ridgeon Oh, quite. More, perhaps. In twenty years you will understand how little difference that makes. Jennifer But even so, how could you think that I⁠—his wife⁠—could ever think of you⁠— Ridgeon Stopping her with a nervous waving of his fingers. Yes, yes, yes, yes: I quite understand: you needn’t rub it in. Jennifer But⁠—oh, it is only dawning on me now⁠—I was so surprised at first⁠—do you dare to tell me that it was to gratify a miserable jealousy that you deliberately⁠—oh! oh! you murdered him. Ridgeon

I think I did. It really comes to that.

Thou shalt not kill, but needst not strive
Officiously to keep alive.

I suppose⁠—yes: I killed him.

Jennifer And you tell me that! to my face! callously! You are not afraid! Ridgeon I am a doctor: I have nothing to fear. It is not an indictable offense to call in B.B. Perhaps it ought to be; but it isn’t. Jennifer I did not mean that. I meant afraid of my taking the law into my own hands, and killing you. Ridgeon I am so hopelessly idiotic about you that I should not mind it a bit. You would always remember me if you did that. Jennifer I shall remember you always as a little man who tried to kill a great one. Ridgeon Pardon me. I succeeded. Jennifer With quiet conviction. No. Doctors think they hold the keys of life and death; but it is not their will that is fulfilled. I don’t believe you made any difference at all. Ridgeon Perhaps not. But I intended to. Jennifer Looking at him amazedly: not without pity. And you tried to destroy that wonderful and beautiful life merely because you grudged him a woman whom you could never have expected to care for you! Ridgeon Who kissed my hands. Who believed in me. Who told me her friendship lasted until death. Jennifer And whom you were betraying. Ridgeon No. Whom I was saving. Jennifer Gently. Pray, doctor, from what? Ridgeon From making a terrible discovery. From having your life laid waste. Jennifer How? Ridgeon No matter. I have saved you. I have been the best friend you ever had. You are happy. You are well. His works are an imperishable joy and pride for you. Jennifer And you think that is your doing. Oh doctor, doctor! Sir Patrick is right: you do think you are a little god. How can you be so silly? You did not paint those pictures which are my imperishable joy and pride: you did not speak the words that will always be heavenly music in my ears. I listen to them now whenever I am tired or sad. That is why I am always happy. Ridgeon Yes, now that he is dead. Were you always happy when he was alive? Jennifer Wounded. Oh, you are cruel, cruel. When he was alive I did not know the greatness of my blessing. I worried meanly about little things. I was unkind to him. I was unworthy of him. Ridgeon Laughing bitterly. Ha! Jennifer Don’t insult me: don’t blaspheme. She snatches up the book and presses it to her heart in a paroxysm