As a few minutes elapsed without anything occurring to explain this phenomenon, and as he felt his own position a peculiarly uncomfortable one, Nicholas was on the point of seeking some information from the man next him, when a sudden move was visible on the stairs, and a voice was heard to cry, “Now, gentleman, have the goodness to walk up!”
So far from walking up, the gentlemen on the stairs began to walk down with great alacrity, and to entreat, with extraordinary politeness, that the gentlemen nearest the street would go first; the gentlemen nearest the street retorted, with equal courtesy, that they couldn’t think of such a thing on any account; but they did it, without thinking of it, inasmuch as the other gentlemen pressing some half-dozen (among whom was Nicholas) forward, and closing up behind, pushed them, not merely up the stairs, but into the very sitting-room of Mr. Gregsbury, which they were thus compelled to enter with most unseemly precipitation, and without the means of retreat; the press behind them, more than filling the apartment.
“Gentlemen,” said Mr. Gregsbury, “you are welcome. I am rejoiced to see you.”
For a gentleman who was rejoiced to see a body of visitors, Mr. Gregsbury looked as uncomfortable as might be; but perhaps this was occasioned by senatorial gravity, and a statesmanlike habit of keeping his feelings under control. He was a tough, burly, thickheaded gentleman, with a loud voice, a pompous manner, a tolerable command of sentences with no meaning in them, and, in short, every requisite for a very good member indeed.
“Now, gentlemen,” said Mr. Gregsbury, tossing a great bundle of papers into a wicker basket at his feet, and throwing himself back in his chair with his arms over the elbows, “you are dissatisfied with my conduct, I see by the newspapers.”
“Yes, Mr. Gregsbury, we are,” said a plump old gentleman in a violent heat, bursting out of the throng, and planting himself in the front.
“Do my eyes deceive me,” said Mr. Gregsbury, looking towards the speaker, “or is that my old friend Pugstyles?”
“I am that man, and no other, sir,” replied the plump old gentleman.
“Give me your hand, my worthy friend,” said Mr. Gregsbury. “Pugstyles, my dear friend, I am very sorry to see you here.”
“I am very sorry to be here, sir,” said Mr. Pugstyles; “but your conduct, Mr. Gregsbury, has rendered this deputation from your constituents imperatively necessary.”
“My conduct, Pugstyles,” said Mr. Gregsbury, looking round upon the deputation with gracious magnanimity—“my conduct has been, and ever will be, regulated by a sincere regard for the true and real interests of this great and happy country. Whether I look at home, or abroad; whether I behold the peaceful industrious communities of our island home: her rivers covered with steamboats, her roads with locomotives, her streets with cabs, her skies with balloons of a power and magnitude hitherto unknown in the history of aeronautics in this or any other nation—I say, whether I look merely at home, or, stretching my eyes farther, contemplate the boundless prospect of conquest and possession—achieved by British perseverance and British valour—which is outspread before me, I clasp my hands, and turning my eyes to the broad expanse above my head, exclaim, ‘Thank Heaven, I am a Briton!’ ”
The time had been, when this burst of enthusiasm would have been cheered to the very echo; but now, the deputation received it with chilling coldness. The general impression seemed to be, that as an explanation of Mr. Gregsbury’s political conduct, it did not enter quite enough into detail; and one gentleman in the rear did not scruple to remark aloud, that, for his purpose, it savoured rather too much of a “gammon” tendency.
“The meaning of that term—gammon,” said Mr. Gregsbury, “is unknown to me. If it means that I grow a little too fervid, or perhaps even hyperbolical, in extolling my native land, I admit the full justice of the remark. I am proud of this free and happy country. My form dilates, my eye glistens, my breast heaves, my heart swells, my bosom burns, when I call to mind her greatness and her glory.”
“We wish, sir,” remarked Mr. Pugstyles, calmly, “to ask you a few questions.”
“If you please, gentlemen; my time is yours—and my country’s—and my country’s—” said Mr. Gregsbury.
This permission being conceded, Mr. Pugstyles put on his spectacles, and referred to a written paper which he drew from his pocket; whereupon nearly every other member of the deputation pulled a written paper from his pocket, to check Mr. Pugstyles off, as he read the questions.
This done, Mr. Pugstyles proceeded to business.
“Question number one.—Whether, sir, you did not give a voluntary pledge previous to your election, that in event of your being returned, you would immediately put down the practice of coughing and groaning in the House of Commons. And whether you did not submit to be coughed and groaned down in the very first debate of the session, and have since made no effort to effect a reform in this respect? Whether you did not also pledge yourself to astonish the government, and make them shrink in their shoes? And whether you have astonished them, and made them shrink in their shoes, or not?”
“Go on to the next one, my dear Pugstyles,” said Mr. Gregsbury.
“Have you any explanation to offer with reference to that question, sir?” asked Mr. Pugstyles.
“Certainly not,” said Mr. Gregsbury.
The members of the deputation looked fiercely at each other, and afterwards at the member. “Dear Pugstyles” having taken a very long stare at Mr. Gregsbury over the tops of his spectacles, resumed his list of inquiries.
“Question number two.—Whether, sir, you did not likewise give a voluntary pledge that you would support
