with the navvy and the two redcoats.
The Navvy
Belching. Where’s the bloody house?
The Shebeenkeeper
Purdon street. Shilling a bottle of stout. Respectable woman.
The Navvy
Gripping the two redcoats, staggers forward with them. Come on, you British army!
Private Carr
Behind his back. He aint half balmy.
Private Compton
Laughs. What ho!
Private Carr
To the navvy. Portobello barracks canteen. You ask for Carr. Just Carr.
The Navvy
Private Compton
Say! What price the sergeantmajor?
Private Carr
Bennett? He’s my pal. I love old Bennett.
The Navvy
He staggers forward, dragging them with him. Bloom stops, at fault. The dog approaches, his tongue outlolling, panting.
Bloom
Wildgoose chase this. Disorderly houses. Lord knows where they are gone. Drunks cover distance double quick. Nice mixup. Scene at Westland row. Then jump in first class with third ticket. Then too far. Train with engine behind. Might have taken me to Malahide or a siding for the night or collision. Second drink does it. Once is a dose. What am I following him for? Still, he’s the best of that lot. If I hadn’t heard about Mrs Beaufoy Purefoy I wouldn’t have gone and wouldn’t have met. Kismet. He’ll lose that cash. Relieving office here. Good biz for cheapjacks, organs. What do ye lack? Soon got, soon gone. Might have lost my life too with that mangongwheeltracktrolleyglarejuggernaut only for presence of mind. Can’t always save you, though. If I had passed Truelock’s window that day two minutes later would have been shot. Absence of body. Still if bullet only went through my coat get damages for shock, five hundred pounds. What was he? Kildare street club toff. God help his gamekeeper.
He gazes ahead reading on the wall a scrawled chalk legend
Odd! Molly drawing on the frosted carriagepane at Kingstown. What’s that like? Gaudy dollwomen loll in the lighted doorways, in window embrasures, smoking birdseye cigarettes. The odour of the sicksweet weed floats towards him in slow round ovalling wreaths.
The Wreaths
Sweet are the sweets. Sweets of sin.
Bloom
My spine’s a bit limp. Go or turn? And this food? Eat it and get all pigsticky. Absurd I am. Waste of money. One and eight pence too much. The retriever drives a cold snivelling muzzle against his hand, wagging his tail. Strange how they take to me. Even that brute today. Better speak to him first. Like women they like rencontres. Stinks like a polecat. Chacun son goût. He might be mad. Fido. Uncertain in his movements. Good fellow! Garryowen! The wolfdog sprawls on his back, wriggling obscenely with begging paws, his long black tongue lolling out. Influence of his surroundings. Give and have done with it. Provided nobody. Calling encouraging words he shambles back with a furtive poacher’s tread, dogged by the setter into a dark stalestunk corner. He unrolls one parcel and goes to dump the crubeen softly but holds back and feels the trotter. Sizeable for threepence. But then I have it in my left hand. Calls for more effort. Why? Smaller from want of use. O, let it slide. Two and six.
With regret he lets unrolled crubeen and trotter slide. The mastiff mauls the bundle clumsily and gluts himself with growling greed, crunching the bones. Two raincaped watch approach, silent, vigilant. They murmur together.
The Watch
Bloom. Of Bloom. For Bloom. Bloom.
Each lays hand on Blooms shoulder.
First Watch
Caught in the act. Commit no nuisance.
Bloom
Stammers. I am doing good to others.
A covey of gulls storm petrels, rises hungrily from Liffey slime with Banbury cakes in their beaks.
The Gulls
Kaw kave kankury kake.
Bloom
The friend of man. Trained by kindness.
He points. Bob Doran, toppling from a high barstool, sways over the munching spaniel.
Bob Doran
Towser. Give us the paw. Give the paw.
The bulldog growls, his scruff standing, a gobbet of pig’s knuckle between his molars through which rabid scumspittle dribbles. Bob Doran falls silently into an area.
Second Watch
Prevention of cruelty to animals.
Bloom
Enthusiastically. A noble work! I scolded that tramdriver on Harold’s cross bridge for illusing the poor horse with his harness scab. Bad French I got for my pains. Of course it was frosty and the last tram. All tales of circus life are highly demoralising.
Signor Maffei, passion pale, in liontamer’s costume with diamond studs in his shirtfront steps forward, holding a circus paper hoop, a curling carriagewhip and a revolver with which he covers the gorging boarhound.
Signor Maffei
With a sinister smile. Ladies and gentlemen, my educated greyhound. It was I broke in the bucking broncho Ajax with my patent spiked saddle for carnivores. Lash under the belly with a knotted thong. Block tackle and a strangling pully will bring your lion to heel, no matter how fractious, even Leo ferox there, the Libyan maneater. A redhot crowbar and some liniment rubbing on the burning part produced Fritz of Amsterdam, the thinking hyena. He glares. I possess the Indian sign. The glint of my eye does it with these breastsparklers. With a bewitching smile. I now introduce Mademoiselle Ruby, the pride of the ring.
First Watch
Come. Name and address.
Bloom
I have forgotten for the moment. Ah, yes! He takes off his high grade hat, saluting. Dr Bloom, Leopold, dental surgeon. You have heard of von Bloom Pasha. Umpteen millions. Donnerwetter! Owns half Austria. Egypt. Cousin.
First Watch
Proof.
A card falls from inside the leather headband of Bloom’s hat.
Bloom
In red fez, cadi’s dress coat with broad green sash, wearing a false badge of the Legion of Honour, picks up the card hastily and offers it. Allow me. My club is the Junior Army and Navy. Solicitors: Messrs John Henry Menton, 27 Bachelor’s Walk.
First Watch
Reads. Henry Flower.
Shouts.
We are the boys. Of Wexford.
Shouts.
The galling chain.
And free our native land.
Wet Dreamand a phallic design.
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