Ulysses

The Ormond boots crouches behind on the axle. Sadly over the crossblind Lydia Douce and Mina Kennedy gaze. The Boots Jogging, mocks them with thumb and wriggling wormfingers. Haw, haw, have you the horn? Bronze by gold they whisper. Zoe To Florry. Whisper. They whisper again. Over the well of the car Blazes Boylan leans, his boater straw, set sideways, a red flower in his mouth. Lenehan, in a yachtsman’s cap and white shoes, officiously detaches a long hair from Blazes Boylan’s shoulder. Lenehan Ho! What do I here behold? Were you brushing the cobwebs off a few quims? Boylan Seated, smiles. Plucking a turkey. Lenehan A good night’s work. Boylan Holding up four thick bluntungulated fingers, winks. Blazes Kate! Up to sample or your money back. He holds out a forefinger. Smell that. Lenehan Smells gleefully. Ah! Lobster and mayonnaise. Ah! Zoe and Florry Laugh together. Ha ha ha ha. Boylan Jumps surely from the car and calls loudly for all to hear. Hello, Bloom! Mrs Bloom up yet? Bloom In a flunkey’s plum plush coat and kneebreeches, buff stockings and powdered wig. I’m afraid not, sir, the last articles..... Boylan Tosses him sixpence. Here, to buy yourself a gin and splash. He hangs his hat smartly on a peg of Bloom’s antlered head. Show me in. I have a little private business with your wife. You understand? Bloom Thank you, sir. Yes, sir, Madam Tweedy is in her bath, sir. Marion He ought to feel himself highly honoured. She plops splashing out of the water. Raoul, darling, come and dry me. I’m in my pelt. Only my new hat and a carriage sponge. Boylan A merry twinkle in his eye. Topping! Bella What? What is it? Zoe whispers to her. Marion Let him look, the pishogue! Pimp! And scourge himself! I’ll write to a powerful prostitute or Bartholomona, the bearded woman, to raise weals out on him an inch thick and make him bring me back a signed and stamped receipt. Bella Laughing. Ho ho ho ho. Boylan To Bloom, over his shoulder. You can apply your eye to the keyhole and play with yourself while I just go through her a few times. Bloom Thank you, sir, I will, sir. May I bring two men chums to witness the deed and take a snapshot? He holds an ointment jar. Vaseline, sir? Orangeflower?⁠ ⁠… Lukewarm water?⁠ ⁠… Kitty From the sofa. Tell us, Florry. Tell us. What. Florry whispers to her. Whispering lovewords murmur liplapping loudly, poppysmic plopslop. Mina Kennedy Her eyes upturned. O, it must be like the scent of geraniums and lovely peaches! O, he simply idolises every bit of her! Stuck together! Covered with kisses! Lydia Douce Her mouth opening. Yumyum. O, he’s carrying her round the room doing it! Ride a cock horse. You could hear them in Paris and New York. Like mouthfuls of strawberries and cream. Kitty Laughing. Hee hee hee. Boylan’s Voice Sweetly, hoarsely, in the pit of his stomach. Ah! Gooblazeqruk brukarchkrasht! Marion’s Voice Hoarsely, sweetly rising to her throat. O! Weeshwashtkissimapooisthnapoohuck! Bloom His eyes wildly dilated, clasps himself. Show! Hide! Show! Plough her! More! Shoot! Bella
Zoe
Florry
Kitty Ho ho! Ha ha! Hee hee! Lynch Points. The mirror up to nature. He laughs. Hu hu hu hu hu. Stephen and Bloom gaze in the mirror. The face of William Shakespeare, beardless, appears there, rigid in facial paralysis, crowned by the reflection of the reindeer antlered hatrack in the hall. Shakespeare In dignified ventriloquy. ’Tis the loud laugh bespeaks the vacant mind. To Bloom. Thou thoughtest as how thou wastest invisible. Gaze. He crows with a black capon’s laugh. Iagogo! How my Oldfellow chokit his Thursdaymomun. Iagogogo! Bloom Smiles yellowly at the whores. When will I hear the joke? Zoe Before you’re twice married and once a widower. Bloom Lapses are condoned. Even the great Napoleon, when measurements were taken near the skin after his death⁠ ⁠… Mrs Dignam, widow woman, her snubnose and cheeks flushed with deathtalk, fears and Tunny’s tawny sherry, hurries by in her weeds, her bonnet awry, rouging and powdering her cheeks, lips and nose, a pen chivvying her brood of cygnets. Beneath her skirt appear her late husband’s everyday trousers and turnedup boots, large eights. She holds a Scottish widow’s insurance policy and large marqueeumbrella under which her brood runs with her, Patsy, hopping on one short foot, his collar loose, a hank of porksteaks dangling, Freddy whimpering, Susy with a crying cods’ mouth, Alice, struggling with the baby. She cuffs them on, her streamers flaunting aloft. Freddy Ah, ma, you’re dragging me along! Susy Mamma, the beeftea is fizzing over! Shakespeare With paralytic rage. Weda seca whokilla farst. The face of Martin Cunningham, bearded, refeatures Shakespeare’s beardless face. The marqueeumbrella sways drunkenly, the children run aside. Under the umbrella appears Mrs Cunningham in Merry Widow hat and kimono gown. She glides sidling and bowing, twisting japanesily. Mrs Cunningham

Sings.

And they call me the jewel of Asia.

Martin Cunningham Gazes on her impassive. Immense! Most bloody awful demirep! Stephen Et exaltabuntur cornua iusti. Queens lay with prize bulls. Remember Pasiphae for whose lust my grandoldgrossfather made the first confessionbox. Forget not Madam Grissel Steevens nor the suine scions of the house of Lambert. And Noah was drunk with wine. And his ark was open. Bella None of that here. Come to the wrong shop. Lynch Let him alone. He’s back from Paris. Zoe Runs to Stephen and links him. O go on! Give us some parleyvoo. Stephen claps hat on head and leaps over to the fireplace, where he stands with shrugged shoulders, finny hands outspread, a painted smile on his face. Lynch Pommelling on the sofa. Rmm Rmm Rmm Rrrrrrmmmmm. Stephen Gobbles, with marionette jerks. Thousand places of entertainment to expenses your evenings with lovely ladies saling gloves and other things perhaps her heart beerchops perfect fashionable