Judex Formidabilis now rose.
“Brother Worshipful Master, I should like to say a few words. I have to observe that certain occurrences have been spoken of here in a very regrettable manner. I am of opinion that those occurrences are not so regrettable as our Brother Junior Warden thinks. I am really not aware which occurrences Brother Junior Warden is alluding to, but if he has in mind the religious meetings which I myself attend, then I am of the opinion that he is mistaken. Indeed, I will say frankly that I consider that he is entirely in error.”
“I move,” suggested another brother, “that we should take a vote on whether the said occurrences are regrettable or not.”
“And I move,” said another, taking the floor, “that we elect a smaller committee, of some three members, say, to investigate these regrettable occurrences.”
“I am in favour of five members.”
“I vote for twelve.”
Judex Formidabilis was heard to say, “Excuse me, brothers, I have not yet finished speaking.”
The Worshipful Master rapped with his gavel.
“I call upon Brother Judex Formidabilis.”
“Brothers,” began Judex gently, “we will not quarrel who is to have the floor. The occurrences concerning which several regrettable opinions have been expressed here are of a character that deserves attention, interest, yes, and even respect. I do not deny that I am a member of several religious circles who have received divine grace in especial power. I trust that this is not inconsistent with the discipline of the Freemason.”
“Not at all,” said several voices.
“Moreover, I have to admit that I myself have been privileged to perform a few minor miracles. I think that this does not conflict with my rank and degree.”
“Certainly not.”
“May I therefore, speaking from my own experiences, state that the aforesaid occurrences are, on the contrary, praiseworthy, uplifting, and moral, that they contribute to the welfare of mankind and the glory of the Most High, and therefore—from the Masonic standpoint—there can be no objection to them. I move that our Lodge should declare its neutrality with respect to all these manifestations of the divine presence.”
The Senior Warden rose and said: “Brothers, I certainly don’t believe in any of this stuff, and I’ve seen nothing of it; all the same I’m in favour of standing up for religion. I don’t think that there’s anything in it, but is there any reason why we should say so? I therefore move that we secretly let it be known that we have the very best information about the whole business, and that we approve of things going on as they are.”
The Worshipful Master raised his eyes and said: “I call the attention of the brethren to the fact that the Industrial Federation has elected the Absolute as its honorary President. Further, that the M.E.C. shares, the so-called Absolute Stock, may go up still higher. In this connection I may say that a donor who wishes to remain unknown has contributed one thousand shares to the Benevolent Fund of our Lodge. The meeting will now proceed.”
The Junior Warden announced: “I beg to withdraw, so to speak, the regrettable occurrences. From the higher point of view I entirely agree. I move that we discuss the matter from the higher point of view.”
The Worshipful Master raised his eyes and said, “I have to inform you that the Grand Lodge intends to issue instructions relating to the recent occurrences. The Grand Lodge recommends the Masters to join religious circles and organize them in the Masonic sense for the instruction of apprentices in the craft. The new Temples are to be conducted in an enlightened and anticlerical spirit. It is desirable to examine the various doctrines—monism, abstinence, Fletcherism, vegetarianism, and so forth. Each circle is to be instructed in a different faith in order to test out practically which is the best for the welfare of mankind and for the glory of the Most High. These activities are obligatory on all Masters by decree of the Grand Lodge. The meeting will now proceed.”
XVIII
In the Night Editor’s Room
The largest Catholic or popular newspaper, The People’s Friend, had not a very large editorial staff, and so at 9:30 p.m. there were only two men in the room—Kostal, the night editor (Heaven knows why night editors’ pipes have such an amazing stink), and Father Jost, who sat writing the leader for the next issue and whistling between his teeth.
At that moment Novotny, the printer, came in with the wet proofs.
“Well, how about the leader, gentlemen, the leader?” he growled. “When are we going to set it?”
Father Jost stopped humming. “Ready in a minute, Novotny,” he said quickly. “There’s just a word I can’t get. Have we already had ‘satanic machinations’?”
“The day before yesterday.”
“Aha. And has ‘treacherous onslaught’ been used too?”
“Yes, we’ve had that.”
“ ‘Knavish imposture’?”
“We ran that today.”
“ ‘Impious fabrication’?”
“At least six times,” said Kostal.
“That’s a pity,” sighed Father Jost. “I think we’ve been a bit too lavish with our ideas. How did you like today’s leader, Novotny?”
“Strong stuff,” said the printer. “But we ought to be getting on with the setting.”
“Ready in a minute,” Father Jost replied. “I think our friends in higher quarters were satisfied with this morning’s issue. You’ll see, his Lordship the Bishop will call on us. ‘Jost,’ he’ll say, ‘you let them have it properly.’ Have we used ‘maniacal ravings’?”
“Yes.”
“What a pity! We must bring up fresh guns and blaze away. ‘Jost,’ his Lordship said to me not long ago, ‘Up and at them! Everything may have its day, but we shall stand forever and aye.’ Mr. Novotny, can’t you think of any suitable phrase?”
“Well, couldn’t you say ‘criminal narrow-mindedness’ or ‘perverse malignity’?”
“That would do splendidly,” said Father Jost, with a sigh of relief. “Where do you get all these bright ideas from, Novotny?”
“From the old files of The People’s Friend. But that leader, your Reverence.”
“You shall have it at once. Just wait a minute: ‘The criminal narrow-mindedness
