“And what I say,” maintained old Blahous, “is the Jews started the war so as to make money out of it. That’s what I say.”
“We could do with some rain,” observed Mrs. Blahous. “The potatoes are far too small. Like nuts.”
“It’s my belief,” Blahous went on, “that people just invented that about the Lord God, so as to have someone to blame things on. That was all made up. They wanted a war and they wanted an excuse. It was all a put-up job.”
“Who did it, then?”
“Nobody knows. What I say is, it was all fixed up with the Pope and the Jews and the whole lot of them. Those … those … Kalburators!” shouted Grandfather Blahous, in great excitement. “I’d like to say it to their faces! Why, did anybody need a new Lord God? The old one was good enough for us country people. There was just enough of Him, and He was good, and honest and upright. He didn’t show himself to anybody, but we had peace instead …”
“What are you asking for your eggs, Prouzova?”
“I’m getting two thousand each at present.”
“They say they’re asking three in Trutnov.”
“And I tell you,” declared old Blahous vehemently, “it was bound to come. People were cross with each other even then. Why, your husband that’s dead now, Prouzova, God rest his soul, was a spiritualist or medium or something in those days. And one time I said to him just in fun, ‘I say, Prouza, you might call back that evil spirit that’s just escaped from me.’ And he lost his temper, and from that day to the day of his death he never spoke a word to me again. Yet he was my neighbour, mind you, aunt. And look at Tony Vlcek. He always swore by those foxfates that you fertilize with, and if anyone didn’t believe in them, he’d keep on going for him like mad. And my son, the Professor, tells me it’s the same wherever you go. If anyone sets his mind on anything, he must have everybody else believe in it. And he won’t let anyone alone. That’s how it’s all come about.”
“Yes, yes,” said Aunt Prouzova, yawning. “What’s the use of it all?”
“Ah, yes,” sighed Mrs. Blahous.
“That’s the way things are in this world,” added Mrs. Prouzova.
“And you women would like to go on cackling all day long,” Grandfather Blahous concluded peevishly, and tottered off into the house.
… And the earth shook with the clash of armies, and thinkers in every camp confidently asserted that “a brighter day was dawning.”
XXIX
The Last Battle
In the autumn of 1953 the Greatest War was drawing to a close. There were no armies left. The armies of occupation, cut off for the most part from their homes, were dwindling away and gradually vanishing like water in the sand. Self-appointed generals marched from town to town, or rather from heap to heap of ruins, at the head of five men, one a drummer, one a thief, one a schoolboy, one a man with a gramophone, and one of whom nobody knew anything. They went about collecting contributions or arranging benefit performances “in aid of the wounded and their widows and orphans.” No one knew by now how many warring camps there were.
Amid this universal and indescribable collapse the Greatest War drew to its close. The end came so unexpectedly that no one nowadays can tell just where the last so-called decisive battle was fought. Historians are still at variance as to which engagement marked the close and extinction of the world-conflagration. Certain of them (such as Dührich, Assbridge, and more particularly Moroni) are inclined to the view that it was the battle of Lintz. In these extensive operations sixty soldiers were engaged, representing eleven hostile camps. The conflict broke out in the large saloon of the Rose Inn, the immediate cause being the waitress Hilda (as a matter of fact it was Marena Ruzickova of Novy Bydzov). Giuseppe, the Italian, proved victorious and carried Hilda off; but since she ran away next day with a Czech called Vaclav Hruska, this too was not a decisive battle.
The historian Usinski records a similar battle at Gorochovky, Leblond a skirmish at Les Batignolles, and Van Goo a fight near Nieuport; but it would seem that local patriotism influenced them more directly than genuinely historical motives. In short, no one knows which was the last battle of the Greatest War. Nevertheless, it can be determined with considerable certitude from documents that are striking in their agreement, i.e. the series of prophecies that appeared before the Greatest War.
For example, a prophecy printed in Swabian characters had been preserved since 1845, foretelling that in a hundred years “terrible times will come, and many armed men will fall in battle,” but that “in a hundred months thirteen nations would meet in the field under a birch-tree, and slaughter each other in a desperate struggle,” which would be followed by fifty years of peace.
In the year 1893 the Turkish prophetess Wali Schön (?) predicted that “five times twelve years would pass ere peace would reign over the whole world; in that year thirteen emperors would make war upon each other and would meet in battle under a birch-tree. Then there would be peace, such a peace as there had never been before and never would be again.”
The vision of a certain negress in Massachusetts is also quoted, dating from 1909, when she beheld “a black monster with two horns, a yellow monster with three horns, and a red monster with eight horns, fighting under a tree (birch-tree?) until their blood besprinkled the whole world.” It is interesting to note that the total number of horns is thirteen, apparently symbolical of the thirteen nations.
In 1920 the Very Reverend Dr. Arnold foretold that “there would be a great Twenty Years’ War in which the whole world would be involved. One great Emperor would perish in that war,
