It lit at once, and a nondescriptly handsome young man was grinning toothily out of it. He wore a white smock, halfway to his knees, and, over it, an old-fashioned Sam Browne belt which supported a bulky leather-covered tablet and a large stylus. On the strap which crossed his breast five or six little metal badges twinkled.
“… Why no other beer can compare with delicious, tangy, Cardon’s Black Bottle. Won’t you try it?” he pleaded. “Then you will see for yourself why millions of happy drinkers always Call For Cardon’s. And now, that other favorite of millions, Literate First Class Elliot C. Mongery.”
Pelton muttered: “Why Frank sponsors that blabbermouth of a Mongery—”
Ray, sliding back onto the bench, returned to his food.
“Jimmy’s book had pictures,” he complained, forking up another mixture of eggs, bacon, toast and honey.
“Book?” Claire echoed. “Oh, the instructions for the ’copter?”
“Pipe down, both of you!” Pelton commanded. “The newscast—”
Literate First Class Elliot C. Mongery, revealed by a quick left quarter-turn of the pickup camera, wore the same starchy white smock, the same Sam Browne belt glittering with the badges of the organizations and corporations for whom he was authorized to practice Literacy. The tablet on his belt, Pelton knew, was really a camouflaged holster for a small automatic, and the gold stylus was a gas-projector. The black-leather-jacketed bodyguards, of course, were discreetly out of range of the camera. Members of the Associated Fraternities of Literates weren’t exactly loved by the non-reading public they claimed to serve. The sight of one of those starchy, perpetually-spotless, white smocks always affected Pelton like a red cape to a bull. He snorted in disdain. The raised eyebrow toward the announcer on the left, the quick, perennially boyish smile, followed by the levelly serious gaze into the camera—the whole act might have been a film-transcription of Mongery’s first appearance on the video, fifteen years ago. At least, it was off the same ear of corn.
“That big hunk of cheese,” Ray commented. For once, Pelton didn’t shush him; that was too close to his own attitude, at least in family-breakfast-table terminology.
“… First of all; for the country, and especially the Newer New York area, and by the way, it looks as though somebody thought somebody needed a little cooling off, but we’ll come to that later. Here’s the forecast: Today and tomorrow, the weather will continue fine; warm in the sun, chilly in the shadows. There won’t be anything to keep you from the polls, tomorrow, except bird-hunting, or a last chance at a game of golf. This is the first time within this commentator’s memory that the weather has definitely been in favor of the party out of power.
“On the world scene: You’ll be glad to hear that the survivors of the wrecked strato-rocket have all been rescued from the top of Mount Everest, after a difficult and heroic effort by the Royal Nepalese Air Force. … The results of last week’s election in Russia are being challenged by twelve of the fourteen parties represented on the ballot; the only parties not hurling accusations of fraud are the Democrats, who won, and the Christian Communists, who are about as influential in Russian politics as the Vegetarian-Anti-Vaccination Party is here. … The Central Diplomatic Council of the Reunited Nations has just announced, for the hundred and seventy-eighth time, that the Arab-Israel dispute has been finally, definitely and satisfactorily settled. This morning’s reports from Baghdad and Tel Aviv only list four Arabs and six Israelis killed in border clashes in the past twenty-four hours, so maybe they’re really getting things patched up, after all. During the same period, there were more fatalities in Newer New York as a result of clashes between the private troops of rival racket gangs, political parties and business houses.
“Which brings us to the local scene. On my way to the studio this morning, I stopped at City Hall, and found our genial Chief of Police Delaney, ‘Irish’ Delaney to most of us, hard at work with a portable disintegrator, getting rid of record disks and recording tapes of old and long-settled cases. He had a couple of amusing stories. For instance, a lone Independent-Conservative partisan broke up a Radical-Socialist mass meeting preparatory to a march to demonstrate in Double Times Square, by applying his pocket lighter to one of the heat-sensitive boxes in the building and activating the sprinkler system. By the time the Radicals had gotten into dry clothing, there was a, well, sort of, impromptu Conservative demonstration going on in Double Times Square, and one of the few things the local gendarmes won’t stand for is an attempt to hold two rival political meetings in the same area.
“Curiously, while it was the Radicals who got soaked, it was the Conservatives who sneezed,” Mongery went on, his face glowing with mischievous amusement. “It seems that while they were holding a monster rally at Hague Hall, in North Jersey Borough, some person or persons unknown got at the air-conditioning system with a tank of sneeze gas, which didn’t exactly improve either the speaking style of Senator Grant Hamilton or the attentiveness of his audience. Needless to say, there is no police investigation of either incident. Election shenanigans, like college pranks, are fair play as long as they don’t cause an outright holocaust. And that, I think, is as it should be,” Mongery went on, more seriously. “Most of the horrors of the Twentieth and Twenty-first Centuries were the result of taking politics too seriously.”
Pelton snorted again. That was the Literate line, all right; treat politics as a joke and an election as a sporting event, let the Independent-Conservative grafters stay in
