“Mr. Crump,” began Moulder, “here has occurred a very unpleasant transaction.”
“I know all about it, gentlemen,” said Mr. Crump. “The waiter has acquainted me, and I can assure you, gentlemen, that I am extremely sorry that anything should have arisen to disturb the harmony of your dinner-table.”
“We must now call upon you, Mr. Crump,” began Mr. Moulder, who was about to demand that Dockwrath should be turned bodily out of the room.
“If you’ll allow me one moment, Mr. Moulder,” continued Mr. Crump, “and I’ll tell you what is my suggestion. The gentleman here, who I understand is a lawyer, does not wish to comply with the rules of the commercial room.”
“I certainly don’t wish or intend to pay for drink that I didn’t order and haven’t had,” said Dockwrath.
“Exactly,” said Mr. Crump. “And therefore, gentlemen, to get out of the difficulty, we’ll presume, if you please, that the bill is paid.”
“The lawyer, as you call him, will have to leave the room,” said Moulder.
“Perhaps he will not object to step over to the coffee-room on the other side,” suggested the landlord.
“I can’t think of leaving my seat here under such circumstances,” said Dockwrath.
“You can’t,” said Moulder. “Then you must be made, as I take it.”
“Let me see the man that will make me,” said Dockwrath.
Mr. Crump looked very apologetic and not very comfortable. “There is a difficulty, gentlemen; there is a difficulty, indeed,” he said. “The fact is, the gentleman should not have been showed into the room at all;” and he looked very angrily at his own servant, James.
“He said he was ’mercial,” said James. “So he did. Now he says as how he’s a lawyer. What’s a poor man to do?”
“I’m a commercial lawyer,” said Dockwrath.
“He must leave the room, or I shall leave the house,” said Moulder.
“Gentlemen, gentlemen!” said Crump. “This kind of thing does not happen often, and on this occasion I must try your kind patience. If Mr. Moulder would allow me to suggest that the commercial gentlemen should take their wine in the large drawing-room upstairs this evening, Mrs. C. will do her best to make it comfortable for them in five minutes. There of course they can be private.”
There was something in the idea of leaving Mr. Dockwrath alone in his glory which appeased the spirit of the great Moulder. He had known Crump, moreover, for many years, and was aware that it would be a dangerous, and probably an expensive proceeding to thrust out the attorney by violence. “If the other gentlemen are agreeable, I am,” said he. The other gentlemen were agreeable, and, with the exception of Kantwise, they all rose from their chairs.
“I must say I think you ought to leave the room as you don’t choose to abide by the rules,” said Johnson, addressing himself to Dockwrath.
“That’s your opinion,” said Dockwrath.
“Yes, it is,” said Johnson. “That’s my opinion.”
“My own happens to be different,” said Dockwrath; and so he kept his chair.
“There, Mr. Crump,” said Moulder, taking half a crown from his pocket and throwing it on the table. “I shan’t see you at a loss.”
“Thank you, sir,” said Mr. Crump; and he very humbly took up the money.
“I keep a little account for charity at home,” said Moulder.
“It don’t run very high, do it?” asked Snengkeld, jocosely.
“Not out of the way, it don’t. But now I shall have the pleasure of writing down in it that I paid half a crown for a lawyer who couldn’t afford to settle his own dinner bill. Sir, we have the pleasure of wishing you a good night.”
“I hope you’ll find the large drawing-room upstairs quite comfortable,” said Dockwrath.
And then they all marched out of the room, each with his own glass, Mr. Moulder leading the way with stately step. It was pleasant to see them as they all followed their leader across the open passage of the gateway, in by the bar, and so up the chief staircase. Mr. Moulder walked slowly, bearing the bottle of port and his own glass, and Mr. Snengkeld and Mr. Gape followed in line, bearing also their own glasses, and maintaining the dignity of their profession under circumstances of some difficulty.
“Gentlemen, I really am sorry for this little accident,” said Mr. Crump, as they were passing the bar; “but a lawyer, you know—”
“And such a lawyer, eh, Crump?” said Moulder.
“It might be five-and-twenty pound to me to lay a hand on him!” said the landlord.
When the time came for Mr. Kantwise to move, he considered the matter well. The chances, however, as he calculated them, were against any profitable business being done with the attorney, so he also left the room. “Good night, sir,” he said as he went. “I wish you a very good night.”
“Take care of yourself,” said Dockwrath; and then the attorney spent the rest of the evening alone.
X
Mr., Mrs., and Miss Furnival
I will now ask my readers to come with me up to London, in order that I may introduce them to the family of the Furnivals. We shall see much of the Furnivals before we reach the end of our present undertaking, and it will be well that we should commence our acquaintance with them as early as may be done.
Mr. Furnival was a lawyer—I mean a barrister—belonging to Lincoln’s
