Hadrian the Seventh

here, it will be Ourself Who will have to obey him. That would distract Us. Therefore, We must interpose someone whom We know⁠—someone who is young enough to suit himself to Us. There are two young ruffians of about twenty-five years old, who, like most of his other acquaintances, formerly loved and hated George Arthur Rose. Their circumstances are disagreeable: they never had a chance: they are hotheaded passionate people, always in love with some woman or other, because they have no means of amusing themselves innocently, being tied and bound with the chains of respectable poverty. They really have no opportunity of leading godly righteous and sober lives. They’re insane, unhealthy, because civilization gives them no opportunity to live sane healthy lives unless they crush all the most salient and most admirable characteristics of their individuality. Please send for them⁠—John Devine, 107, Arkwright Street, Preston⁠—Iulo Carrino, 95, Bloomsbury Square, London⁠—and let Us give them some service and much freedom, and a little wholesome neglect to strengthen and develop their characters and to give play to their individual natures, as good old Jowett says. We believe in making it, not difficult but, easy to be good⁠—Look, Frank, tell Iulo Carrino to bring with him that yellow cat which you may remember. By the by, both these men cannot move without money. Take this cheque for George Arthur Rose’s balance at Coutts’s: use what is generous⁠—generous, mind you⁠—and account to Us later. And now, about the other things, We had better see Centrina and the Majordomo upstairs.”

The Pope and the bishop inspected a series of empty rooms on the top-floor. They occupied the N. E. and the S. E. sides of the palace. Hadrian chose the large room in the angle with windows on two sides, for the secret chamber. It was approached from the N. E. corridor by way of fifteen antechambers and a large room suitable for private receptions. Beyond the antechambers there was another series of apartments which He also took. The private room in the angle, sitting-room, or workshop (as He called it), led into some smaller rooms on the S. E. face of the palace. Here he fixed upon a bedroom, bathroom, dressing-room, oratory, and sundry storerooms, accessible by a single door in the last room which led into the corridor overlooking the court of St. Damasus.

The Majordomo and the Master-of-the-Chamber attended. The latter was quaking about his situation. Hadrian rapidly reassured him and came to the point. “You are confirmed in your benefice until such time as you choose to retire. The emoluments and the pension are at your disposal. In a few days, two gentlemen will arrive from England. You will prepare a parlour and a bedroom for each, adjoining the first antechamber. Fix a bell in each parlour communicating with this room. (They were standing in the room which had been selected as a workshop.) You will provide two servants for them. They will take their meals in their parlours. After their arrival, Our commandments will come to you through them.” (He turned and addressed Himself to the Majordomo.) “These two gentlemen must be given some official status.”

“If I understand aright, Your Holiness is appointing two Gentlemen-in-Waiting-in-the-Apostolic-Chamber.”

“That will do. When they arrive, see that they have diplomas of appointment as Gentlemen of the Apostolic Chamber. The Bishop of Caerleon will arrange with you about their emoluments. Now, let Us furnish these rooms.”

They went out into the corridor; and re-entered the apartment by the first antechamber.

“Cover all the walls and ceilings with brown-packing paper⁠—yes, brown-packing paper⁠—carta straccia,” the Pope repeated. “Stain all the woodwork with a darker shade of brown. The gilding of the cornices can remain as it is. No carpets. These small greenish-blue tiles are clean; and they soothe the eye. Curtains? You may hang very voluminous linen curtains on the doors and windows, greenish-blue linen to match the tiles, and without borders. Furnish all those antechambers with rush chairs and oaken tables. Remember that everything is to be plain, without ornament.⁠—In this room you may place the usual throne and canopy: and that crucifix from downstairs⁠—(how exquisite the mother-of-pearl Figure is!)⁠—and the stools, and twelve large candlesticks⁠—iron or brass.⁠—Now this room is to be a workshop. Let Us have a couch and three armchairs, all large and low and well-cushioned, covered with undyed leather. Get some of those large plain wooden tables which are used in kitchens, about three yards long and one-and-a-half wide. Put writing-materials on one of them, there, on the right of the window. Leave the middle of the room empty. Put three small bookcases against that wall and a cupboard here.⁠—Make a bedroom of this room. Let the bed be narrow and long, with a husk mattress; and let the back of the head be toward the window. Put one of the large wooden tables here and a dozen rush-chairs.⁠—(He spoke to the bishop.) Do you know that there is no water here at all, except in little jugs? (He continued to the Majordomo.) Line the walls of this room with greenish-blue tiles, like those on the floor. Put several pegs on both doors. In this corner put a drainpipe covered with a grating; and, six feet above it, let a waterpipe and tap project rectangularly two feet from the wall. Yes. Six feet from the floor, two feet from the wall; and let there be a constant and copious supply of water⁠—rainwater, if possible. Do you understand?”

The Majordomo understood. The Master-of-the-Chamber shivered.

“And lamps. Get two plain oil-lamps for each room, with copper shades: large lamps, to give a very strong light. Paint over both doors of the bedroom, on the outside of each, Intrantes excommunicantur ipso facto. When We have finished here,” (He addressed the Master-of-the-Chamber again), “you will parade your staff; and We will select one person and provide him with a dispensation from that rule as long as he behaves himself well. He will have charge of