“Why, Ruth, how you jumped!”
“I didn’t expect to see you, I suppose, Dad. You said goodbye to me last night and said you had a conference this morning.”
“So I have,” said Van Aldin, “but you are more to me than any number of darned conferences. I came to take a last look at you, since I am not going to see you for some time.”
“That is very sweet of you, Dad. I wish you were coming too.”
“What would you say if I did?”
The remark was merely a joking one. He was surprised to see the quick colour of flame in Ruth’s cheeks. For a moment he almost thought he saw dismay flash out of her eyes. She laughed uncertainly and nervously.
“Just for a moment I really thought you meant it,” she said.
“Would you have been pleased?”
“Of course.” She spoke with exaggerated emphasis.
“Well,” said Van Aldin, “that’s good.”
“It isn’t really for very long, Dad,” continued Ruth; “you know, you are coming out next month.”
“Ah!” said Van Aldin unemotionally, “sometimes I guess I will go to one of these big guys in Harley Street and have him tell me that I need sunshine and change of air right away.”
“Don’t be so lazy,” cried Ruth; “next month is ever so much nicer than this month out there. You have got all sorts of things you can’t possibly leave just now.”
“Well, that’s so, I suppose,” said Van Aldin, with a sigh. “You had better be getting on board this train of yours, Ruth. Where is your seat?”
Ruth Kettering looked vaguely up at the train. At the door of one of the Pullman cars a thin, tall woman dressed in black was standing—Ruth Kettering’s maid. She drew aside as her mistress came up to her.
“I have put your dressing-case under your seat, Madam, in case you should need it. Shall I take the rugs, or will you require one?”
“No, no, I shan’t want one. Better go and find your own seat now, Mason.”
“Yes, Madam.”
The maid departed.
Van Aldin entered the Pullman car with Ruth. She found her seat, and Van Aldin deposited various papers and magazines on the table in front of her. The seat opposite to her was already taken, and the American gave a cursory glance at its occupant. He had a fleeting impression of attractive grey eyes and a neat travelling costume. He indulged in a little more desultory conversation with Ruth, the kind of talk peculiar to those seeing other people off by train.
Presently, as whistles blew, he glanced at his watch.
“I had best be clearing out of here. Goodbye, my dear. Don’t worry, I will attend to things.”
“Oh, Father!”
He turned back sharply. There had been something in Ruth’s voice, something so entirely foreign to her usual manner, that he was startled. It was almost a cry of despair. She had made an impulsive movement towards him, but in another minute she was mistress of herself once more.
“Till next month,” she said cheerfully.
Two minutes later the train started.
Ruth sat very still, biting her underlip and trying hard to keep the unaccustomed tears from her eyes. She felt a sudden sense of horrible desolation. There was a wild longing upon her to jump out of the train and to go back before it was too late. She, so calm, so self-assured, for the first time in her life felt like a leaf swept by the wind. If her father knew—what would he say?
Madness! Yes, just that, madness! For the first time in her life she was swept away by emotion, swept away to the point of doing a thing which even she knew to be incredibly foolish and reckless. She was enough Van Aldin’s daughter to realise her own folly, and levelheaded enough to condemn her own action. But she was his daughter in another sense also. She had that same iron determination that would have what it wanted, and once it had made up its mind would not be balked. From her cradle she had been self-willed; the very circumstances of her life had developed that self-will in her. It drove her now remorselessly. Well, the die was cast. She must go through with it now.
She looked up, and her eyes met those of the woman sitting opposite. She had a sudden fancy that in some way this other woman had read her mind. She saw in those grey eyes understanding and—yes—compassion.
It was only a fleeting impression. The faces of both women hardened to well-bred impassiveness. Mrs. Kettering took up a magazine, and Katherine Grey looked out of the window and watched a seemingly endless vista of depressing streets and suburban houses.
Ruth found an increasing difficulty in fixing her mind on the printed page in front of her. In spite of herself, a thousand apprehensions preyed on her mind. What a fool she had been! What a fool she was! Like all cool and self-sufficient people, when she did lose her self-control she lost it thoroughly. It was too late. … Was it too late? Oh, for someone to speak to, for someone to advise her. She had never before had such a wish; she would have scorned the idea of relying on any judgment other than her own, but now—what was the matter with her? Panic. Yes, that would describe it best—panic. She, Ruth Kettering, was completely and utterly panic stricken.
She stole a covert glance at the figure opposite. If only she knew someone like that, some nice, cool, calm, sympathetic creature. That was the sort of person one could talk to. But you can’t, of course, confide in a stranger. And Ruth smiled to herself a little at the idea. She picked up the magazine again. Really she must control herself. After all she had thought all this out. She had decided of her own free will. What happiness had she ever had in
