“Which I was quite free to do,” said the Perpetual Curate, with a smile, “but could not, and did not, all the same. Things are altogether changed. Now, be as cross as you please, you belong to me, Lucia mia. To be sure, I have no money—”
“I was not thinking of that,” said the young lady, under her breath.
“Of course one has to think about it,” said Mr. Wentworth; “but the question is, whether we shall be happier and better going on separate in our usual way, or making up our minds to give up something for the comfort of being together. Perhaps you will forgive me for taking that view of the question,” said the Curate, with a little enthusiasm. “I have got tired of ascetic principles. I don’t see why it must be best to deny myself and postpone myself to other things and other people. I begin to be of my brother Jack’s opinion. The children of this world are wiser in their generation than the children of light. A man who will wait has to wait. Providence does not invariably reward him after he has been tried, as we used to suppose. I am willing to be a poor man because I can’t help it; but I am not willing to wait and trust my happiness to the future when it is in my reach now,” said the unreasonable young man, to whom it was of course as easy as it was to Lucy to change the position of his chair, and prevent the distance between them being increased. Perhaps he might have carried his point even at that moment, had not Miss Wodehouse, who had heard enough to alarm her, come forward hastily in a fright on the prudential side.
“I could not help hearing what you were saying,” said the elder sister. “Oh, Mr. Wentworth, I hope you don’t mean to say that you can’t trust Providence? I am sure that is not Lucy’s way of thinking. I would not mind, and I am sure she would not mind, beginning very quietly; but then you have nothing, next to nothing, neither of you. It might not matter, just at the first,” said Miss Wodehouse, with serious looks; “but then—afterwards, you know,” and a vision of a nursery flashed upon her mind as she spoke. “Clergymen always have such large families,” she said half out before she was aware, and stopped, covered with confusion, not daring to look at Lucy to see what effect such a suggestion might have had upon her. “I mean,” cried Miss Wodehouse, hurrying on to cover over her inadvertence if possible, “I have seen such cases; and a poor clergyman who has to think of the grocer’s bill and the baker’s bill instead of his parish and his duty—there are some things you young people know a great deal better than I do, but you don’t know how dreadful it is to see that.”
Here Lucy, on her part, was touched on a tender point, and interposed. “For a man to be teased about bills,” said the young housekeeper, with flushed cheeks and an averted countenance, “it must be not his poverty, but his—his wife’s fault.”
“Oh, Lucy, don’t say so,” cried Miss Wodehouse; “what is a poor woman to do, especially when she has no money of her own, as you wouldn’t have? and then the struggling, and getting old before your time, and all the burdens—”
“Please don’t say any more,” said Lucy; “there was no intention on—on any side to drive things to a decision. As for me, I have not a high opinion of myself. I would not be the means of diminishing anyone’s comforts,” said the spiteful young woman. “How can I be sure that I might not turn out a very poor compensation? We settled this morning how all that was to be, and I for one have not changed my mind—as yet,” said Lucy. That was all the encouragement Mr. Wentworth got when he propounded his new views. Things looked easy enough when he was alone, and suffered himself to drift on pleasantly on the changed and heightened current of personal desires and wishes; but it became apparent to him, after that evening’s discussion, that even in Eden itself, though the dew had not yet dried on the leaves, it would be highly incautious for any man to conclude that he was sure of having his own way. The Perpetual Curate returned a sadder and more doubtful man to Mrs. Hadwin’s, to his own apartments; possibly, as the two states of mind so often go together, a wiser individual too.
XLVII
The dinner-party at the Rectory, to which Mr. Wentworth did not go, was much less interesting and agreeable than it might have been had he been present. As for the Rector and his wife, they could not but feel themselves in a somewhat strange position, having between them a secret unsuspected by the company. It was difficult to refrain from showing a certain flagging of interest in the question of the church’s restoration, about which, to be sure, Mr. Finial was just as much concerned as he had been yesterday; though Mr. Morgan, and even Mrs. Morgan, had suffered a great and unexplainable diminution of enthusiasm. And then Mr. Leeson, who was quite unaware of the turn that things had taken, and who was much too obtuse to understand how the Rector could be anything but exasperated against the Perpetual Curate by the failure of the investigation, did all that he could to make himself disagreeable, which was saying a good deal. When Mrs. Morgan came into the drawing-room, and found this obnoxious individual occupying the most comfortable easy-chair, and turning over at his ease the great book of ferns, nature-printed, which was the
