Mrs. Proctor was seated as usual in the place she loved, with her newspapers, her books, her workbasket, and silver-headed cane at the side of her chair. The old lady, like her son, looked serious. She beckoned him to quicken his steps when she saw him appear at the drawing-room door, and pointed to the chair placed beside her, all ready for this solemn conference. He came in with a troubled face, scarcely venturing to look at her, afraid to see the disappointment which he had brought upon his dearest friend. The old lady divined why it was he did not lift his eyes. She took his hand and addressed him with all her characteristic vivacity.
“Morley, what is this you mean, my dear? When did I ever give my son reason to distrust me? Do you think I would suffer you to continue in a position painful to yourself for my sake? How dare you think such a thing of me, Morley? Don’t say so? you didn’t mean it; I can see it in your eyes.”
The Rector shook his head, and dropped into the chair placed ready for him. He might have had a great deal to say for himself could she have heard him. But as it was, he could not shout all his reasons and apologies into her deaf ear.
“As for the change to me,” said the old lady, instinctively seizing upon the heart of the difficulty, “that’s nothing—simply nothing. I’ve not had time to get attached to Carlingford. I’ve no associations with the place. Of course I shall be very glad to go back to all my old friends. Put that out of the question, Morley.”
But the Rector only shook his head once more. The more she made light of it, the more he perceived all the painful circumstances involved. Could his mother go back to Devonshire and tell all her old ladies that her son had made a failure in Carlingford? He grieved within himself at the thought. His brethren at All Souls might understand him; but what could console the brave old woman for all the condolence and commiseration to which she would be subject? “It goes to my heart, mother,” he cried in her ear.
“Well, Morley, I am very sorry you find it so,” said the old lady; “very sorry you can’t see your way to all your duties. They tell me the late rector was very Low Church, and visited about like a Dissenter, so it is not much wonder you, with your different habits, find yourself a good deal put out; but, my dear, don’t you think it’s only at first? Don’t you think after a while the people would get into your ways, and you into theirs? Miss Wodehouse was here this morning, and was telling me a good deal about the late rector. It’s to be expected you should find the difference; but by-and-by, to be sure, you might get used to it, and the people would not expect so much.”
“Did she tell you where we met the other day?” asked the Rector, with a brevity rendered necessary by Mrs. Proctor’s infirmity.
“She told me—she’s a dear confused good soul,” said the old lady—“about the difference between Lucy and herself, and how the young creature was twenty times handier than she, and something about young Mr. Wentworth of St. Roque’s. Really, by all I hear, that must be a very presuming young man,” cried Mrs. Proctor, with a lively air of offence. “His interference among your parishioners, Morley, is really more than I should be inclined to bear.”
Once more the good Rector shook his head. He had not thought of that aspect of the subject. He was indeed so free from vanity or self-importance, that his only feeling in regard to the sudden appearance of the perpetual curate was respect and surprise. He would not be convinced otherwise even now. “He can do his duty, mother,” he answered, sadly.
“Stuff and nonsense!” cried the old lady. “Do you mean to tell me a boy like that can do his duty better than my son could do it, if he put his mind to it? And if it is your duty, Morley, dear,” continued his mother, melting a little, and in a coaxing persuasive tone, “of course I know you will do it, however hard it may be.”
“That’s just the difficulty,” cried the Rector, venturing on a longer speech than usual, and roused to a point at which he had no fear of the listeners in the kitchen; “such duties require other training than mine has been. I can’t!—do you hear me, mother?—I must not hold a false position; that’s impossible.”
“You shan’t hold a false position,” cried the old lady; “that’s the only thing that is impossible—but, Morley, let us consider, dear. You are a clergyman, you know; you ought to understand all that’s required of you a great deal better than these people do. My dear, your poor father and I trained you up to be a clergyman,” said Mrs. Proctor, rather pathetically, “and not to be a Fellow of All Souls.”
The Rector groaned. Had it not been advancement, progress, unhoped-for good fortune, that made him a member of that learned corporation? He shook his head. Nothing could change the fact now. After fifteen years’ experience of that Elysium, he could not
