At last the blow came. Camilla was aware that on a certain morning her mother had been to Mr. Gibson’s house, and had held a long conference with him. She could learn nothing of what took place there, for at that moment she had taken upon herself to place herself on nonspeaking terms with her mother in consequence of those disgraceful orders which had been given to the tradesmen. But Bella had not been at Mr. Gibson’s house at the time, and Camilla, though she presumed that her own conduct had been discussed in a manner very injurious to herself, did not believe that any step was being then arranged which would be positively antagonistic to her own views. The day fixed was now so very near, that there could, she felt, be no escape for the victim. But she was wrong.
Mr. Gibson had been found by Mrs. French in a very excited state on that occasion. He had wept, and pulled his hair, and torn open his waistcoat, had spoken of himself as a wretch—pleading, however, at the same time, that he was more sinned against than sinning, had paced about the room with his hands dashing against his brows, and at last had flung himself prostrate on the ground. The meaning of it all was, that he had tried very hard, and had found at last that “he couldn’t do it.” “I am ready to submit,” said he, “to any verdict that you may pronounce against me, but I should deceive you and deceive her if I didn’t say at once that I can’t do it.” He went on to explain that since he had unfortunately entered into his present engagement with Camilla—of whose position he spoke in quite a touching manner—and since he had found what was the condition of his own heart and feelings he had consulted a friend—who, if any merely human being was capable of advising, might be implicitly trusted for advice in such a matter—and that his friend had told him that he was bound to give up the marriage let the consequences to himself or to others be what they might. “Although the skies should fall on me, I cannot stand at the hymeneal altar with a lie in my mouth,” said Mr. Gibson immediately upon his rising from his prostrate condition on the floor. In such a position as this a mother’s fury would surely be very great! But Mrs. French was hardly furious. She cried, and begged him to think better of it, and assured him that Camilla, when she should be calmed down by matrimony, would not be so bad as she seemed;—but she was not furious. “The truth is, Mr. Gibson,” she said through her tears, “that, after all, you like Bella best.” Mr. Gibson owned that he did like Bella best, and although no bargain was made between them then and there—and such making of a bargain then and there would hardly have been practicable—it was understood that Mrs. French would not proceed to extremities if Mr. Gibson would still make himself forthcoming as a husband for the advantage of one of the daughters of the family.
So far Mr. Gibson had progressed towards a partial liberation from his thraldom with a considerable amount of courage; but he was well aware that the great act of daring still remained to be done. He had suggested to Mrs. French that she should settle the matter with Camilla—but this Mrs. French had altogether declined to do. It must, she said, come from himself. If she were to do it, she must sympathise with her child; and such sympathy would be obstructive of the future arrangements which were still to be made. “She always knew that I liked Bella best,” said Mr. Gibson—still sobbing, still tearing his hair, still pacing the room with his waistcoat torn open. “I would not advise you to tell her that,” said Mrs. French. Then Mrs. French went home, and early on the following morning it was thought good by Arabella that she also should pay a visit at Ottery St. Mary’s. “Goodbye, Cammy,” said Arabella as she went. “Bella,” said Camilla, “I wonder whether you are a serpent. I do not think you can be so base a serpent as that.” “I declare, Cammy, you do say such odd things that no one can understand what you mean.” And so she went.
On that morning Mr. Gibson was walking at an early hour along the road from Exeter to Cowley, contemplating his position and striving to arrange his plans. What was he to do, and how was he to do it? He was prepared to throw up his living, to abandon the cathedral, to leave the diocese—to make any sacrifice rather than take Camilla to his bosom. Within the last six weeks he had learned to regard her with almost a holy horror. He could not understand by what miracle of self-neglect he had fallen into so perilous an abyss. He had long known Camilla’s temper. But in those days in which he had been beaten like a shuttlecock between the Stanburys and the Frenches, he had lost his head and had done—he knew not what. “Those whom the God chooses to destroy, he first maddens,” said Mr. Gibson to himself of himself, throwing himself back upon early erudition and pagan philosophy. Then he looked across to the river Exe, and thought that there was hardly water enough there to cover the multiplicity of his sorrows.
But something must be done. He had proceeded so far in forming a resolution, as he reached St. David’s Church on his return homewards. His sagacious
