I was just witnessing the paper that he had scrawled over, and was shaking the ink out of my pen upon the carpet, when my lady came in to breakfast, and she started as if it had been a ghost! as well she might, when she saw Sir Condy writing at this unseasonable hour. “That will do very well, Thady,” says he to me, and took the paper I had signed to, without knowing what upon the earth it might be, out of my hands, and walked, folding it up, to my lady.
“You are concerned in this, my Lady Rackrent,” said he, putting it into her hands; “and I beg you’ll keep this memorandum safe, and show it to your friends the first thing you do when you get home; but put it in your pocket now, my dear, and let us eat our breakfast, in God’s name.” “What is all this?” said my lady, opening the paper in great curiosity. “It’s only a bit of a memorandum of what I think becomes me to do whenever I am able,” says my master; “you know my situation, tied hand and foot at the present time being, but that can’t last always, and when I’m dead and gone the land will be to the good, Thady, you know; and take notice it’s my intention your lady should have a clear five hundred a year jointure off the estate afore any of my debts are paid.” “Oh, please your honour,” says I, “I can’t expect to live to see that time, being now upwards of fourscore years of age, and you a young man, and likely to continue so, by the help of God.” I was vexed to see my lady so insensible too, for all she said was, “This is very genteel of you, Sir Condy. You need not wait any longer, Thady;” so I just picked up the pen and ink that had tumbled on the floor, and heard my master finish with saying, “You behaved very genteel to me, my dear, when you threw all the little you had in your power along with yourself into my hands; and as I don’t deny but what you may have had some things to complain of”—to be sure he was thinking then of Judy, or of the whiskey punch, one or t’other, or both—“and as I don’t deny but you may have had something to complain of, my dear, it is but fair you should have something in the form of compensation to look forward to agreeably in future; besides, it’s an act of justice to myself, that none of your friends, my dear, may ever have it to say against me, I married for money, and not for love.” “That is the last thing I should ever have thought of saying of you, Sir Condy,” said my lady, looking very gracious. “Then, my dear,” said Sir Condy, “we shall part as good friends as we met; so all’s right.”
I was greatly rejoiced to hear this, and went out of the parlour to report it all to the kitchen. The next morning my lady and Mrs. Jane set out for Mount Juliet’s Town in the jaunting car: many wondered at my lady’s choosing to go away, considering all things, upon the jaunting car, as if it was only a party of pleasure; but they did not know till I told them that the coach was all broke in the journey down, and no other vehicle but the car to be had; besides, my lady’s friends were to send their coach to meet her at the crossroads; so it was all done very proper.
My poor master was in great trouble after my lady left us. The execution came down; and everything at Castle Rackrent was seized by the gripers, and my son Jason, to his shame be it spoken, amongst them. I wondered, for the life of me, how he could harden himself to do it; but then he had been studying the law, and had made himself Attorney Quirk; so he brought down at once a heap of accounts upon my master’s head. To cash lent, and to ditto, and to ditto, and to ditto, and oats, and bills paid at the milliner’s and linen draper’s, and many dresses for the fancy balls in Dublin for my lady, and all the bills to the workmen and tradesmen for the scenery of the theatre, and the chandler’s and grocer’s bills, and tailor’s, besides butcher’s and baker’s, and, worse than all, the old one of that base wine merchant’s, that wanted to arrest my poor master for the amount on the election day, for which amount Sir Condy afterwards passed his note of hand, bearing lawful interest from the date thereof; and the interest and compound interest was now mounted to a terrible deal on many other notes and bonds for money borrowed, and there was, besides, hush-money to the sub-sheriffs, and sheets upon sheets of old and new attorneys’ bills, with heavy balances, “as per former account furnished,” brought forward with interest thereon; then there was a powerful deal due to the crown for sixteen years’ arrear of quit-rent of the townlands of Carrickshaughlin, with driver’s fees, and a compliment to the receiver every year for letting the quit-rent run on to oblige Sir Condy, and Sir Kit afore him. Then there were bills for spirits and ribbons at the election time, and the gentlemen of the committee’s accounts unsettled, and their subscription never gathered; and there were cows to be
