The Duke’s Children

his eyes so sharply open to the pecuniary doings of the Carbottleites, that Mr. Carbottle’s guides and friends had hardly dared to spend a shilling;⁠—it was he who had in truth been efficacious. In every attempt they had made to spend their money they had been looked into and circumvented. As Mr. Carbottle had been brought down to Polpenno on purpose that he might spend money⁠—as he had nothing but his money to recommend him, and as he had not spent it⁠—the free and independent electors of the borough had not seen their way to vote for him. Therefore the Conservatives were very elate with their triumph. There was a great Conservative reaction. But the electioneering guide, philosopher, and friend, in the humble retirement of his own home⁠—he was a tailor in the town, whose assistance at such periods had long been in requisition⁠—he knew very well how the seat had been secured. Ten shillings a head would have sent three hundred true Liberals to the ballot-boxes! The mode of distributing the money had been arranged; but the Conservative tailor had been too acute, and not half-a-sovereign could be passed. The tailor got twenty-five pounds for his work, and that was smuggled in among the bills for printing.

Mr. Williams, however, was sure that he had so opened out the iniquities of the dissenters as to have convinced the borough. Yes; every Salem and Zion and Ebenezer in his large parish would be closed. “It is a great thing for the country,” said Mr. Williams.

“He’ll make a capital member,” said Silverbridge, clapping his friend on the back.

“I hope he’ll never forget,” said Mr. Williams, “that he owes his seat to the Protestant and Church-of-England principles which have sunk so deeply into the minds of the thoughtful portion of the inhabitants of this borough.”

“Whom should they elect but a Tregear?” said the mother, feeling that her rector took too much of the praise to himself.

“I think you have done more for us than anyone else,” whispered Miss Tregear to the young Lord. “What you said was so reassuring!” The father before he went to bed expressed to his son, with some trepidation, a hope that all this would lead to no great permanent increase of expenditure.

That evening before he went to bed Lord Silverbridge wrote to his father an account of what had taken place at Polpenno.

Polwenning, 15th December.

My dear Father,

Among us all we have managed to return Tregear. I am afraid you will not be quite pleased because it will be a vote lost to your party. But I really think that he is just the fellow to be in Parliament. If he were on your side I’m sure he’s the kind of man you’d like to bring into office. He is always thinking about those sort of things. He says that, if there were no Conservatives, such Liberals as you and Mr. Monk would be destroyed by the Jacobins. There is something in that. Whether a man is a Conservative or not himself, I suppose there ought to be Conservatives.

The Duke as he read this made a memorandum in his own mind that he would explain to his son that every carriage should have a drag to its wheels, but that an ambitious soul would choose to be the coachman rather than the drag.

It was beastly work!

The Duke made another memorandum to instruct his son that no gentleman above the age of a schoolboy should allow himself to use such a word in such a sense.

We had to go about in the rain up to our knees in mud for eight or nine days, always saying the same thing. And of course all that we said was bosh.

Another memorandum⁠—or rather two, one as to the slang, and another as to the expediency of teaching something to the poor voters on such occasions.

Our only comfort was that the Carbottle people were quite as badly off as us.

Another memorandum as to the grammar. The absence of Christian charity did not at the moment affect the Duke.

I made ever so many speeches, till at last it seemed to be quite easy.

Here there was a very grave memorandum. Speeches easy to young speakers are generally very difficult to old listeners.

But of course it was all bosh.

This required no separate memorandum.

I have promised to go up to town with Tregear for a day or two. After that I will stick to my purpose of going to Matching again. I will be there about the 22nd, and will then stay over Christmas. After that I am going into the Brake country for some hunting. It is such a shame to have a lot of horses and never to ride them!

Your most affectionate Son,

Silverbridge.

The last sentence gave rise in the Duke’s mind to the necessity of a very elaborate memorandum on the subject of amusements generally.

By the same post another letter went from Polpenno to Matching which also gave rise to some mental memoranda. It was as follows:

My dear Mabel,

I am a Member of the British House of Commons! I have sometimes regarded myself as being one of the most peculiarly unfortunate men in the world, and yet now I have achieved that which all commoners in England think to be the greatest honour within their reach, and have done so at an age at which very few achieve it but the sons of the wealthy and the powerful.

I now come to my misfortunes. I know that as a poor man I ought not to be a member of Parliament. I ought to be earning my bread as a lawyer or a doctor. I have no business to be what I am, and when I am forty I shall find that I have eaten up all my good things instead of having them to eat.

I have one chance before me. You know very well what that is.