Phineas Redux

he feared neither Adelaide nor Lord Chiltern any more than he did his own servants at Spoon Hall. “Was Miss Palliser at home?” The maidservant who opened the door told him that Miss Palliser was at home, with a celerity which he certainly had not expected. The male members of the establishment were probably disporting themselves in the absence of their master and mistress, and Adelaide Palliser was thus left to the insufficient guardianship of young women who were altogether without discretion. “Yes, sir; Miss Palliser is at home.” So said the indiscreet female, and Mr. Spooner was for the moment confounded by his own success. He had hardly told himself what reception he had expected, or whether, in the event of the servant informing him at the front door that the young lady was not at home he would make any further immediate effort to prolong the siege so as to force an entry; but now, when he had carried the very fortress by surprise, his heart almost misgave him. He certainly had not thought, when he descended from his chariot like a young Bacchus in quest of his Ariadne, that he should so soon be enabled to repeat the tale of his love. But there he was, confronted with Ariadne before he had had a moment to shake his godlike locks or arrange the divinity of his thoughts. “Mr. Spooner,” said the maid, opening the door.

“Oh dear!” exclaimed Ariadne, feeling the vainness of her wish to fly from the god. “You know, Mary, that Lady Chiltern is up in London.”

“But he didn’t ask for Lady Chiltern, Miss.” Then there was a pause, during which the maidservant managed to shut the door and to escape.

“Lord Chiltern is up in London,” said Miss Palliser, rising from her chair, “and Lady Chiltern is with him. They will be at home, I think, tomorrow, but I am not quite sure.” She looked at him rather as Diana might have looked at poor Orion than as any Ariadne at any Bacchus; and for a moment Mr. Spooner felt that the pale chillness of the moon was entering in upon his very heart and freezing the blood in his veins.

“Miss Palliser⁠—” he began.

But Adelaide was for the moment an unmitigated Diana. “Mr. Spooner,” she said, “I cannot for an instant suppose that you wish to say anything to me.”

“But I do,” said he, laying his hand upon his heart.

“Then I must declare that⁠—that⁠—that you ought not to. And I hope you won’t. Lady Chiltern is not in the house, and I think that⁠—that you ought to go away. I do, indeed.”

But Mr. Spooner, though the interview had been commenced with unexpected and almost painful suddenness, was too much a man to be driven off by the first angry word. He remembered that this Diana was but mortal; and he remembered, too, that though he had entered in upon her privacy he had done so in a manner recognised by the world as lawful. There was no reason why he should allow himself to be congealed⁠—or even banished out of the grotto of the nymph⁠—without speaking a word on his own behalf. Were he to fly now, he must fly forever; whereas, if he fought now⁠—fought well, even though not successfully at the moment⁠—he might fight again. While Miss Palliser was scowling at him he resolved upon fighting. “Miss Palliser,” he said, “I did not come to see Lady Chiltern; I came to see you. And now that I have been happy enough to find you I hope you will listen to me for a minute. I shan’t do you any harm.”

“I’m not afraid of any harm, but I cannot think that you have anything to say that can do anybody any good.” She sat down, however, and so far yielded. “Of course I cannot make you go away, Mr. Spooner; but I should have thought, when I asked you⁠—”

Mr. Spooner also seated himself, and uttered a sigh. Making love to a sweet, soft, blushing, willing, though silent girl is a pleasant employment; but the task of declaring love to a stony-hearted, obdurate, ill-conditioned Diana is very disagreeable for any gentleman. And it is the more so when the gentleman really loves⁠—or thinks that he loves⁠—his Diana. Mr. Spooner did believe himself to be verily in love. Having sighed, he began: “Miss Palliser, this opportunity of declaring to you the state of my heart is too valuable to allow me to give it up without⁠—without using it.”

“It can’t be of any use.”

“Oh, Miss Palliser⁠—if you knew my feelings!”

“But I know my own.”

“They may change, Miss Palliser.”

“No, they can’t.”

“Don’t say that, Miss Palliser.”

“But I do say it. I say it over and over again. I don’t know what any gentleman can gain by persecuting a lady. You oughtn’t to have been shown up here at all.”

Mr. Spooner knew well that women have been won even at the tenth time of asking, and this with him was only the third. “I think if you knew my heart⁠—” he commenced.

“I don’t want to know your heart.”

“You might listen to a man, at any rate.”

“I don’t want to listen. It can’t do any good. I only want you to leave me alone, and go away.”

“I don’t know what you take me for,” said Mr. Spooner, beginning to wax angry.

“I haven’t taken you for anything at all. This is very disagreeable and very foolish. A lady has a right to know her own mind, and she has a right not to be persecuted.” She would have referred to Lord Chiltern’s letter had not all the hopes of her heart been so terribly crushed since that letter had been written. In it he had openly declared that she was already engaged to be married to Mr. Maule, thinking that he would thus put an end to Mr. Spooner’s little adventure. But since the writing of Lord Chiltern’s letter that unfortunate reference had been made to Boulogne, and every particle of her