LXVIII
Phineas After the Trial
Ten days passed by, and Phineas Finn had not been out of his lodgings till after daylight, and then he only prowled about in the manner described in the last chapter. His sisters had returned to Ireland, and he saw no one, even in his own room, but two or three of his most intimate friends. Among those Mr. Low and Lord Chiltern were the most frequently with him, but Fitzgibbon, Barrington Erle, and Mr. Monk had also been admitted. People had called by the hundred, till Mrs. Bunce was becoming almost tired of her lodger’s popularity; but they came only to inquire—because it had been reported that Mr. Finn was not well after his imprisonment. The Duchess of Omnium had written to him various notes, asking when he would come to her, and what she could do for him. Would he dine, would he spend a quiet evening, would he go to Matching? Finally, would he become her guest and the Duke’s next September for the partridge shooting? They would have a few friends with them, and Madame Goesler would be one of the number. Having had this by him for a week, he had not as yet answered the invitation. He had received two or three notes from Lady Laura, who had frankly explained to him that if he were really ill she would of course go to him, but that as matters stood she could not do so without displeasing her brother. He had answered each note by an assurance that his first visit should be made in Portman Square. To Madame Goesler he had written a letter of thanks—a letter which had in truth cost him some pains. “I know,” he said, “for how much I have to thank you, but I do not know in what words to do it. I ought to be with you telling you in person of my gratitude; but I must own to you that for the present what has occurred has so unmanned me that I am unfit for the interview. I should only weep in your presence like a schoolgirl, and you would despise me.” It was a long letter, containing many references to the circumstances of the trial, and to his own condition of mind throughout its period. Her answer to him, which was very short, was as follows:—
Park Lane, Sunday—.
My dear Mr. Finn,
I can well understand that for a while you should be too agitated by what has passed to see your friends. Remember, however, that you owe it to them as well as to yourself not to sink into seclusion. Send me a line when you think that you can come to me that I may be at home. My journey to Prague was nothing. You forget that I am constantly going to Vienna on business connected with my own property there. Prague lies but a few hours out of the route.
His friends who did see him urged him constantly to bestir himself, and Mr. Monk pressed him very much to come down to the House. “Walk in with me tonight, and take your seat as though nothing had happened,” said Mr. Monk.
“But so much has happened.”
“Nothing has happened to alter your outward position as a man. No doubt many will flock round you to congratulate you, and your first half-hour will be disagreeable; but then the thing will have been done. You owe it to your constituents to do so.” Then Phineas for the first time expressed an opinion that he would resign his seat—that he would take the Chiltern Hundreds, and retire altogether from public life.
“Pray do nothing of the kind,” said Mr. Monk.
“I do not think you quite understand,” said Phineas, “how such an ordeal as this works upon a man, how it may change a man, and knock out of him what little strength there ever was there. I feel that I am broken, past any patching up or mending. Of course it ought not to be so. A man should be made of better stuff;—but one is only what one is.”
“We’ll put off the discussion for another week,” said Mr. Monk.
“There came a letter to me when I was in prison from one of the leading men in Tankerville, saying that I ought to resign. I know they all thought that I was guilty. I do not care to sit for a place where I was so judged—even if I was fit any longer for a seat in Parliament.” He had never felt convinced that Mr. Monk had himself believed with confidence his innocence, and he spoke with soreness, and almost with anger.
“A letter from one individual should never be allowed to create interference between a member and his constituents. It should simply be answered to that effect, and then ignored. As to the belief of the townspeople in your innocence—what is to guide you? I believed you innocent with all my heart.”
“Did you?”
“But there was always sufficient possibility of your guilt to prevent a rational man from committing himself to the expression of an absolute conviction.” The young member’s brow became black as he heard this. “I can see that I offend you by saying so—but if you will think of it, I must be right. You were on your trial; and I as your friend was bound to await the result—with much confidence, because I knew you; but with no conviction, because both you and I are human and fallible. If the electors at Tankerville, or any great proportion of them,
