The former replied:
“I’m not responsible for that.”
“Why not?”
“It is true that I have a perfect wife, but I married her in spite of myself.”
“Nonsense.”
“Yes—This is the story: I was thirty years old, and I thought no more of marrying than of hanging myself. Young girls always seemed to me insipid, and I was exceedingly fond of pleasure.
“In the month of May I was invited to the wedding of my cousin Simon d’Erabel, in Normandy. It was a real Norman wedding. The people sat down at table at five o’clock in the afternoon; and at eleven o’clock they were still eating. On this occasion my partner was a Miss Dumoulin, the daughter of a retired colonel, a blonde young woman with a military air, well-built, fearless and loquacious. She monopolized me completely all day long, took me walking in the park, made me dance whether I wanted to or not, and bored me.
“I said to myself: ‘I’ll bear it today, but tomorrow I’ll escape. I’ve had enough.’
“About eleven o’clock at night the women retired to their rooms and the men remained to smoke while drinking, or to drink while smoking if you prefer.
“Through the open window could be seen the rustic ball. Country lads and lasses skipped in a circle while they sang in a loud voice the tune of a wild dance feebly accompanied by two violinists and a clarinettist who used the top of a large kitchen table as a platform. The tumultuous song of the country people sometimes completely drowned the sound of the instruments; and the feeble music, torn to pieces by their uncontrolled voices, seemed to fall from the sky in shreds, in small fragments of scattered notes. From two huge casks surrounded by flaming torches there poured drink for the crowd. Two men were busy rinsing the glasses, or bowls, in a tub so as to have them ready as quickly as possible to place under the faucets from which ran the red thread of wine or the golden thread of pure cider; and the thirsty dancers, the sedate elderly people, the perspiring girls, came there extending their arms to take, in their turn, whatever kind of cup they could find, and throwing back their heads took copious draughts of whichever drink they preferred. On one table was bread, butter, cheeses and sausages. Everybody swallowed a mouthful from time to time; and on the starlit field this healthy and energetic fête was a pleasure to behold and made me want to drink to the health of those huge casks, and eat hard bread with butter and a raw onion.
“A foolish desire took possession of me to take part in their festivities and I left my companions.
“I must acknowledge that I was then somewhat tipsy, and soon became quite drunk.
“I seized the hand of a strong peasant girl who was out of breath, and I made her skip around wildly until I was breathless. After drinking some more wine I seized another jolly girl and, to refresh myself, I swallowed a full bowl of cider, and I began to jump about like one possessed.
“I was supple, the lads were delighted, and watched me as they tried to imitate me; all the girls wanted to dance with me and they skipped about heavily, with cow-like grace.
“At last after many dances and glass after glass of wine and cider, I became so tipsy about two o’clock in the morning, that I could hardly stand up.
“I was conscious of my condition and I wanted to go to my bedroom. The château was asleep, silent, and sombre.
“I had no matches and everyone had gone to bed. As soon as I was inside the vestibule I was seized with dizziness: I had great difficulty in finding the banister; at last I came across it by chance, as I was groping about, and I sat down on the first step of the staircase trying to collect my ideas.
“My bedroom was on the second floor, the third door to the left. Happily I had not forgotten that. Confident that I remembered correctly, I got up again, but not without difficulty, and I began to go upstairs, step by step, my hands glued to the iron railing to prevent myself from falling, and trying my best not to make any noise.
“Three or four times my foot missed the following step, and I fell on my knees, but thanks to the strength of my arms and my great determination, I avoided rolling downstairs.
“At last I reached the second story, and ventured down the corridor, groping along the walls. Here was one door: I counted ‘One’; but a sudden dizziness made me let go the wall and turn round in an erratic circle that threw me against the other partition. I tried to return in a straight line. The passage was long and difficult, but at last I came up against the side wall and I once more carefully felt my way along it until I came to another door. To make certain that I was not mistaken, I again counted aloud: ‘Two’; and I continued walking. After some time I found the third, and I said: ‘Three, that’s mine,’ and as I turned the key in the lock the door opened. In spite of my confusion I thought, ‘as the door opens it must be my room,’ and I advanced in the darkness after closing the door softly.
“I came up against something soft, my couch, and I stretched myself out on it.
“In my condition I did not try to find my night table, my candlestick, or my matches. It would have taken me two hours or so. It would have taken me as long again to undress, and perhaps even then I would not have succeeded, so I did not attempt it.
“I took off my shoes, unbuttoned my vest which felt uncomfortably tight, and loosening my trousers, slept most soundly.
“I must have been sleeping a
