As he was convinced that all animals were deprived of speech only because of past misdeeds, and that as part of the same punishment they were endowed with the remembrance of previous existences, Heraclius became passionately devoted to his companion, and in doing this consoled himself for all the misery he had endured. For, as a fact, the Doctor’s life had for some time past been growing sadder. The Warden and the Dean came to see him less frequently, and this made a large gap in his existence. They had even ceased coming to dinner on Sundays since he had decreed that no food which had once had life should be served at his table. This change of habit was a great sacrifice, even for him, and now and again it assumed the proportions of a genuine grief, for he who had hitherto awaited so eagerly the pleasant hour devoted to his lunch, now almost dreaded its arrival. He would go sadly into his dining room realizing that now there was nothing to look forward to. Moreover, he was continuously haunted by the thought of quails—a thought which plagued him with remorse. But alas! it was not his remorse for having eaten so many—it was, on the contrary, his despair at having renounced them forever.
XXII
In Which the Doctor Discovers That His Monkey Resembles Him Even More Than He Thought
One morning the Doctor was woken up by an unusual noise. He jumped out of bed, dressed hurriedly and made for the kitchen, from which came extraordinary sounds of shouting and kicking. For a long time past Honorine had been harbouring in her mind black thoughts of vengeance against the intruder who had stolen her master’s affection. At last the treacherous woman, knowing the tastes and habits of these animals, had managed, by means of some trick or other, to tie the poor monkey firmly to the leg of her kitchen table. Then when she was certain that he was held fast she went to the other end of the room and amused herself by tempting him with a feast calculated to excite his greed, and thus inflicted on him the tortures of Tantalus—tortures such as are reserved in Hell for the worst sinners of all. The perverse housekeeper roared with laughter and invented further refinements of torture such as would only occur to a woman. The man-monkey writhed in fury when savoury dishes were proffered from some way off, and in his rage at finding himself tied to the leg of the heavy table, made horrible faces, thereby adding to the enjoyment of his brutal temptress.
At last, just as the anxious Doctor appeared in the doorway, the victim of this hateful trick made a tremendous effort and succeeded in breaking the cords which held him. Had it not been for the hurried intervention of the indignant Heraclius, heaven knows what delicacies would not have been gobbled up by this new four-handed Tantalus.
XXIII
How the Doctor Realized That His Monkey Had Shamefully Imposed Upon Him
This time anger triumphed over respect; the doctor seized the monkey philosopher by the throat and dragged him howling into the study, where he administered the most terrible thrashing that the back of any metempsychosist had ever received.
The moment Heraclius’ tired arm relaxed its hold on the throat of the wretched beast, who after all was only guilty of the same tastes as those of his human brother, the monkey freed himself from the grasp of his outraged master, jumped on to the table, seized the Doctor’s big snuff box which was lying on a book and flung it, wide open, at its owner’s head. Heraclius just had time to close his eyes and avoid the whirlwind of snuff which would certainly have blinded him. When he opened them the criminal had disappeared, taking with him the manuscript of which he was presumed to be the author.
Heraclius’ consternation was indescribeable. He dashed like a madman in pursuit of the fugitive, determined to recover the precious manuscript at no matter what sacrifice. He explored the house from cellar to attic, opened all his cupboards and looked under all the furniture, but his search revealed nothing. At last he went and sat in despair under a tree in the garden. Presently he became aware of light little taps on his head, caused, so he thought at first, by dead leaves broken off by the wind. But suddenly he saw a little ball of paper rolling in front of him on the path. He picked it up and opened it. Mercy! It was a page of his manuscript. Horrified, he looked up and saw his accursed monkey calmly preparing fresh missiles of the same kind, with an expression of malignant joy on his face that Satan himself could not have outdone when he saw Adam accept the fatal apple—that apple which, throughout the ages, from Eve to Honorine, women have never ceased offering us. At the sight of this a terrible thought flashed through the Doctor’s mind and he realized that he had been deceived, tricked and mystified in the most abominable way by this hairy impostor who was no more the missing philosopher than he was the Pope or the Grand Turk. The precious document would have disappeared altogether had not Heraclius caught sight of a garden hose near at hand. He snatched it up and, working it with almost superhuman strength, gave the wretch such a totally unexpected bath that he began to jump from branch to branch with
