He washed, dressed, and walked out with a firm step.
He repeated to himself, as he walked:
“I must be energetic, very energetic. I must prove that I am not afraid.”
His witnesses, the marquis and the colonel, placed themselves at his disposal, and after hearty handshakes discussed the conditions.
“You are anxious for a serious duel?” asked the colonel.
“Yes, a very serious one,” replied the viscount.
“You still insist on pistols?” said the marquis.
“Yes.”
“You will leave us free to arrange the rest?”
In a dry, jerky voice the viscount stated:
“Twenty paces; at the signal, raising the arm, and not lowering it. Exchange of shots till one is seriously wounded.”
“They are excellent conditions,” declared the colonel in a tone of satisfaction. “You shoot well, you have every chance.”
They departed. The viscount went home to wait for them. His agitation, momentarily quietened, was now growing minute by minute. He felt a strange shivering, a ceaseless vibration, down his arms, down his legs, in his chest; he could not keep still in one place, neither seated nor standing. There was not the least moistening of saliva in his mouth, and at every instant he made a violent movement of his tongue, as though to prevent it sticking to his palate.
He was eager to have breakfast, but could not eat. Then the idea came to him to drink in order to give himself courage, and he sent for a decanter of rum, of which he swallowed six liqueur glasses full one after the other.
A burning warmth flooded through his body, followed immediately by a sudden dizziness of the mind and spirit.
“Now I know what to do,” he thought. “Now it is all right.”
But by the end of an hour he had emptied the decanter, and his state of agitation had once more become intolerable. He was conscious of a wild need to roll on the ground, to scream, to bite. Night was falling.
The ringing of a bell gave him such a shock that he had not strength to rise and welcome his witnesses.
He did not even dare to speak to them, to say “Good evening” to them, to utter a single word, for fear they guessed the whole thing by the alteration in his voice.
“Everything is arranged in accordance with the conditions you fixed,” observed the colonel. “At first your adversary claimed the privileges of the insulted party, but he yielded almost at once, and has accepted everything. His witnesses are two military men.”
“Thank you,” said the viscount.
“Pardon us,” interposed the marquis, “if we merely come in and leave again immediately, but we have a thousand things to see to. We must have a good doctor, since the combat is not to end until a serious wound is inflicted, and you know that pistol bullets are no laughing-matter. We must appoint the ground, near a house to which we may carry the wounded man if necessary, etc. In fact, we shall be occupied for two or three hours arranging all that there is to arrange.”
“Thank you,” said the viscount a second time.
“You are all right?” asked the colonel. “You are calm?”
“Yes, quite calm, thank you.”
The two men retired.
When he realised that he was once more alone, he thought that he was going mad. His servant had lit the lamps, and he sat down at the table to write letters. After tracing, at the head of a sheet: “This is my will,” he rose shivering and walked away, feeling incapable of connecting two ideas, of taking a resolution, of making any decision what ever.
So he was going to fight! He could no longer avoid it. Then what was the matter with him? He wished to fight, he had absolutely decided upon this plan of action and taken his resolve, and he now felt clearly, in spite of every effort of mind and forcing of will, that he could not retain even the strength necessary to get him to the place of meeting. He tried to picture the duel, his own attitude and the bearing of his adversary.
From time to time his teeth chattered in his mouth with a slight clicking noise. He tried to read, and took down Châteauvillard’s code of duelling. Then he wondered:
“Does my adversary go to shooting-galleries? Is he well known? Is he classified anywhere? How can I find out?”
He bethought himself of Baron Vaux’s book on marksmen with the pistol, and ran through it from end to end. Georges Lamil was not mentioned in it. Yet if the man were not a good shot, he would surely not have promptly agreed to that dangerous weapon and those fatal conditions?
He opened, in passing, a case by Gastinne Renette standing on a small table, and took out one of the pistols, then placed himself as though to shoot and raised his arm. But he was trembling from head to foot and the barrel moved in every direction.
At that, he said to himself:
“It’s impossible. I cannot fight in this state.”
He looked at the end of the barrel, at the little, black, deep hole that spits death; he thought of the disgrace, of the whispers at the club, of the laughter in drawing rooms, of the contempt of women, of the allusions in the papers, of the insults which cowards would fling at him.
He was still looking at the weapon, and, raising the hammer, caught a glimpse of a cap gleaming beneath it like a tiny red flame. By good fortune or forgetfulness, the pistol had been left loaded. At the knowledge, he was filled with a confused inexplicable sense of joy.
If, when face to face with the other man, he did not show a proper gallantry and calm, he would be lost forever. He would be sullied, branded with a mark of infamy, hounded out of society. And he would not be able to achieve that calm, that swaggering poise; he knew it, he felt it. Yet he was brave, since he wanted to fight! … He was brave, since …
The thought which hovered in him did not
