“An hour later I was on my way to Paris, and my father, at my request, asked for an immediate audience with the Emperor.
“I was received the next day. Napoleon III was at work in a little room when we were introduced. I explained the whole affair, even to the visit of the priest, and, in the midst of the story, the door opened behind the chair of the Emperor, and the Empress, believing him to be alone, entered. His Majesty consulted her. As soon as she heard the facts, she exclaimed:
“ ‘This man must be pardoned! He must, because he is innocent.’
“Why should this sudden conviction of a woman so pious throw into my mind a terrible doubt?
“Up to that time I had ardently desired a commutation of the sentence. And now I felt myself the puppet, the dupe of an adroit criminal, who had used the priest and the confessional as a means of defence.
“I showed some hesitation to their Majesties. The Emperor remained undecided, torn on one hand by his natural goodness, and on the other held back by the fear of allowing himself to be made a fool of by a scoundrel; but the Empress, convinced that the priest had obeyed a divine call, repeated: ‘What does it matter? It is better to spare a guilty man than to kill an innocent one.’ Her advice prevailed. The penalty of death was commuted, and that of hard labour was substituted.
“Some years after I heard that Moiron, whose exemplary conduct at Toulon had been made known again to the Emperor, was employed as a servant by the director of the penitentiary. And then I heard no word of this man for a long time.
“About two years after this, when I was passing the summer at Lille, in the house of my cousin, de Larielle, I was told, one evening, as we were sitting down to dinner, that a young priest wished to speak to me.
“I told them to let him come in, and he begged me to go with him to a dying man, who desired, above all things, to see me. This had happened often, during my long career as judge, and, although I had been put aside by the Republic, I was still called upon from time to time in like circumstances.
“I followed the priest, who took me to a little miserable lodging, under the roof of a lofty workmen’s tenement. There, upon a pallet of straw, I found a dying man, seated with his back against the wall, in order to breathe. He was a sort of grimacing skeleton, with deep, shining eyes.
“When he saw me he murmured: ‘You do not know me?’
“ ‘No.’
“ ‘I am Moiron.’
“I shivered, but said: ‘The schoolmaster?’
“ ‘Yes.’
“ ‘How is it you are here?’
“ ‘That would take too long—I haven’t time—I am going to die—They brought me this priest—and as I knew you were here, I sent him for you—It is to you that I wish to confess—since you saved my life long ago.’
“He seized with his dry hands the straw of his bed, and continued, in a rasping, bass voice:
“ ‘There … I owe you the truth—to you, because it is necessary to tell it to someone before leaving the earth.
“ ‘It was I who killed the children—all—it was I—for vengeance!
“ ‘Listen. I was an honest man, very honest—very honest—very pure—adoring God—the good God—the God that they teach us to love, and not the false God, the executioner, the robber, the murderer who governs the earth—I had never done wrong, never committed a villainous act. I was pure as one unborn.
“ ‘After I was married I had children, and I began to love them as never father or mother loved their own. I lived only for them. I was foolish. They died, all three of them! Why? Why? What had I done? I? I had a change of heart, a furious change. Suddenly I opened my eyes as though waking from a dream, and I saw that God is wicked. Why had He killed my children? I opened my eyes and I saw that He loved to kill. He loves only that, Monsieur. He gives life only to take it away! God is a murderer! Some death is necessary to Him every day. He causes death in many ways, the better to amuse Himself. He has invented sickness and accident in order to divert Himself through all the long months and years, and, when He is weary, He has epidemics, plague, cholera, diphtheria, smallpox; and I know not what else this monster has invented.
“ ‘All that was not enough. All those evils are too much alike. From time to time He sends war, in order to see two hundred thousand soldiers laid low, bruised in blood and mire, with arms and legs torn off, heads broken by bullets, like eggs that fall along the road.
“ ‘That is not all. He has made men who eat one another. And then, as men become better than He, He has made beasts to see the men chase them, slaughter, and eat them. That is not all. He has made all the little animals that live for a day, flies which increase by myriads in an hour, ants, that one crushes, and others, many, so many that we cannot even imagine them. And all kill one another, chase one another, devour one another, and constantly die. And the good God looks on and is amused, because He sees everything, the largest as well as the smallest, those which are in drops of water, as well as those in the stars. He looks at them all and is amused! Ugh! Beast!
“ ‘So, I, Monsieur, I also have killed some children. I played this trick on Him. It was not He who got them. It was not He, it was I.
