“Well Mr. Grimes,” said George, “how are you this morning? Sit down, Mr. Grimes. If every man were as punctual as you are, the world would go like clockwork; wouldn’t it?”
“Business is business, Mr. Vavasor,” said the publican, after having made his salute, and having taken his chair with some little show of mock modesty. “That’s my maxim. If I didn’t stick to that, nothing wouldn’t ever stick to me; and nothing doesn’t much as it is. Times is very bad, Mr. Vavasor.”
“Of course they are. They’re always bad. What was the Devil made for, except that they should be bad? But I should have thought you publicans were the last men who ought to complain.”
“Lord love you, Mr. Vavasor; why, I suppose of all the men as is put upon, we’re put upon the worst. What’s the good of drawing of beer, if the more you draw the more you don’t make. Yesterday as ever was was Saturday, and we drawed three pound ten and nine. What’ll that come to, Mr. Vavasor, when you reckons it up with the brewer? Why, it’s a next to nothing. You knows that well enough.”
“Upon my word I don’t. But I know you don’t sell a pint of beer without getting a profit out of it.”
“Lord love you, Mr. Vavasor. If I hadn’t nothink to look to but beer I couldn’t keep a house over my head; no I couldn’t. That house of mine belongs to Meux’s people; and very good people they are too;—have made a sight of money; haven’t they, Mr. Vavasor? I has to get my beer from them in course. Why not, when it’s their house? But if I sells their stuff as I gets it, there ain’t a halfpenny coming to me out of a gallon. Look at that, now.”
“But then you don’t sell it as you get it. You stretch it.”
“That’s in course. I’m not going to tell you a lie, Mr. Vavasor. You know what’s what as well as I do, and a sight better, I expect. There’s a dozen different ways of handling beer, Mr. Vavasor. But what’s the use of that, when they can take four or five pounds a day over the counter for their rotgut stuff at the Cadogan Arms, and I can’t do no better nor yet perhaps so well, for a real honest glass of beer. Stretch it! It’s my belief the more you poison their liquor, the more the people likes it!”
Mr. Grimes was a stout man, not very tall, with a mottled red face, and large protruding eyes. As regards his own person, Mr. Grimes might have been taken as a fair sample of the English innkeeper, as described for many years past. But in his outer garments he was very unlike that description. He wore a black, swallow-tailed coat, made, however, to set very loose upon his back, a black waistcoat, and black pantaloons. He carried, moreover, in his hands a black chimney-pot hat. Not only have the top-boots and breeches vanished from the costume of innkeepers, but also the long, parti-coloured waistcoat, and the birds’-eye fogle round their necks. They get themselves up to look like Dissenting ministers or undertakers, except that there is still a something about their rosy gills which tells a tale of the spigot and corkscrew.
Mr. Grimes had only just finished the tale of his own hard ways as a publican, when the doorbell was again rung. “There’s Scruby,” said George Vavasor, “and now we can go to business.”
XIII
Mr. Grimes Gets His Odd Money
The handmaiden at George Vavasor’s lodgings announced “another gent,” and then Mr. Scruby entered the room in which were seated George, and Mr. Grimes the publican from the Handsome Man on the Brompton Road. Mr. Scruby was an attorney from Great Marlborough Street, supposed to be very knowing in the ways of metropolitan elections; and he had now stepped round, as he called it, with the object of saying a few words to Mr. Grimes, partly on the subject of the forthcoming contest at Chelsea, and partly on that of the contest last past. These words were to be said in the presence of Mr. Vavasor, the person interested. That some other words had been spoken between Mr. Scruby and Mr. Grimes on the same subjects behind Mr. Vavasor’s back I think very probable. But even though this might have been so I am not prepared to say that Mr. Vavasor had been deceived by their combinations.
The two men were very