a mournful monotone the following reply:
“O my brother, do not fear it; I’m no disembodied spirit—
I am Lampton, the Slang Poet, with a price upon my head.
I am watching by this portal for some late lamented mortal
To arise in his disquietude and leave his earthy bed.
“Then I hope to take possession and pull in the earth above me
And, renouncing my profession, ne’er be heard of any more.
For there’s not a soul to love me and no living thing respects me,
Which so painfully affects me that I fain would ‘go before.’ ”
Then I felt a deep compassion for the gentleman’s dejection,
For privation of affection would refrigerate a frog.
So I said: “If nothing human, and if neither man nor woman
Can appreciate the fashion of your merit buy a dog.”
The Woman and the Devil
When Man and Woman had been made,
All but the disposition,
The Devil to the workshop strayed,
And somehow gained admission.
The Master rested from his work,
For this was on a Sunday,
The man was snoring like a Turk,
Content to wait till Monday.
“Too bad!” the Woman cried; “Oh, why,
Does slumber not benumb me?
A disposition! Oh, I die
To know if ’twill become me!”
The Adversary said: “No doubt
’Twill be extremely fine, ma’am,
Though sure ’tis long to be without—
I beg to lend you mine, ma’am.”
The Devil’s disposition when
She’d got, of course she wore it,
For she’d no disposition then,
Nor now has, to restore it.
Two Rogues
Dim, grim, and silent as a ghost,
The sentry occupied his post,
To all the stirrings of the night
Alert of ear and sharp of sight.
A sudden something—sight or sound,
About, above, or underground,
He knew not what, nor where—ensued,
Thrilling the sleeping solitude.
The soldier cried: “Halt! Who goes there?”
The answer came: “Death—in the air.”
“Advance, Death—give the countersign,
Or perish if you cross that line!”
To change his tone Death thought it wise—
Reminded him they’d been allies
Against the Russ, the Frank, the Turk,
In many a bloody bit of work.
“In short,” said he, “in every weather
We’ve soldiered, you and I, together.”
The sentry would not let him pass.
“Go back,” he growled, “you tiresome ass—
Go back and rest till the next war,
Nor kill by methods all abhor:
Miasma, famine, filth and vice,
With plagues of locusts, plagues of lice,
Foul food, foul water, and foul gases,
Rank exhalations from morasses.
If you employ such low allies
This business you will vulgarize.
Renouncing then the field of fame
To wallow in a waste of shame,
I’ll prostitute my strength and lurk
About the country doing work—
These hands to labor I’ll devote,
Nor cut, by Heaven, another throat!”
The Pied Piper of Brooklyn
So, Beecher’s dead. His was a great soul, too—
Great as a giant organ is, whose reeds
Hold in them all the souls of all the creeds
That man has ever taught and never knew.
When on this mighty instrument was laid
His hand Who fashioned it, our common moan
Was suppliant in its thundering. The tone
Grew more vivacious when the Devil played.
No more those luring harmonies we hear,
And lo! already men forget the sound.
They turn, retracing all the dubious ground
O’er which he’d led them stoutly by the ear.
Not Guilty
“I saw your charms in another’s arms,”
Said a Grecian swain with his blood a-boil;
“And he kissed you fair as he held you there,
A willing bird in a serpent’s coil!”
The maid looked up from the cinctured cup
Wherein she was crushing the berries red,
Pain and surprise in her honest eyes—
“It was only one o’ those gods,” she said.
Presentiment
With saintly grace and reverent tread,
She walked among the graves with me;
Her every foot-fall seemed to be
A benediction on the dead.
The guardian spirit of the place
She seemed, and I some ghost forlorn
Surprised in the untimely morn
She made with her resplendent face.
Moved by some waywardness of will,
Three paces from the path apart
She stepped and stood—my prescient heart
Was stricken with a passing chill.
The folk-lore of the years agone
Remembering, I smiled and thought:
“Who shudders suddenly at naught,
His grave is being trod upon.”
But now I know that it was more
Than idle fancy. O, my sweet,
I did not think such little feet
Could make a buried heart so sore!
A Study in Gray
I step from the door with a shiver
(This fog is uncommonly cold)
And ask myself: What did I give her?—
The maiden a trifle gone-old,
With the head of gray hair that was gold.
Ah, well, I suppose ’twas a dollar,
And doubtless the change is correct,
Though it’s odd that it seems so much smaller
Than what I’d a right to expect.
But you pay when you dine, I reflect.
So I walk up the street—’twas a saunter
A score of years back, when I strolled
From this door; and our talk was all banter
Those days when her hair was of gold,
And the sea-fog less searching and cold.
A score? Why, that isn’t so very
Much time to have lost from a life.
There’s reason enough to be merry:
I’ve not fallen down in the strife,
But marched with the drum and the fife.
If Hope, when she lured me and beckoned,
Had pushed at my shoulders instead,
And Fame, on whose favors I reckoned,
Had laureled the worthiest head,
I could hallow the years that are dead.
Believe me, I’ve held my own, mostly
Through all of this wild masquerade;
But somehow the fog is more ghostly
To-night, and the skies are more grayed,
Like the locks of the restaurant maid.
If ever I’d fainted and faltered
I’d fancy this did but appear;
But the climate, I’m certain, has altered—
Grown colder and more austere
Than it was in that earlier year.
The lights, too, are strangely unsteady,
That lead from the street to the quay.
I think they’ll go out—and I’m ready
To follow. Out there in the sea
The fog-bell is calling to me.
For Merit
To Parmentier Parisians raise
A statue fine and large:
He cooked potatoes fifty ways,
Nor ever led a charge.
“Palmam qui meruit”—the rest
You knew as well as I;
And best of all to
