The Golden Ass

out of the theatre. But I from the time that I uncovered the bodies stood still as cold as ice, no otherwise than as the other statues and images there, neither came I into my right senses, until such time as Milo my host came and took me by the hand, and with civil violence led me away weeping and sobbing, whether I would or no. And because that I might be seen, he brought me through many blind ways and lanes to his house, where he went about to comfort me, being sad and yet fearful, with gentle entreaty of talk. But he could in nowise mitigate my impatience of the injury which I conceived within my mind. And behold, by and by the magistrates and judges with their ensigns entered into the house, and endeavoured to pacify me in this sort, saying, Oh Lucius, we are advertised of your dignity, and know the genealogy of your ancient lineage, for the nobility of your kin do possess the greatest part of all this province: and think not that you have suffered the thing wherefore you weep, to any reproach and ignominy, but put away all care and sorrow out of your mind. For this day, which we celebrate once a year in honour of the god Risus, is always renowned with some solemn novel, and the god doth continually accompany with the inventor thereof, and will not suffer that he should be sorrowful, but pleasantly bear a joyful face. And verily all the city for the grace that is in you, intend to reward you with great honours, and to make you a patron. And further that your statue or image may be set up for a perpetual remembrance.

To whom I answered, As for such benefits as I have received of the famous city of Thessaly, I yield and render the most entire thanks, but as touching the setting up of any statues or images, I would wish that they should be reserved for mine ancients, and such as are more worthy than I.

And when I had spoken these words somewhat gravely, and showed myself more merry than I was before, the judges and magistrates departed, and I reverently took my leave of them, and bid them farewell. And behold, by and by there came one running unto me in haste, and said, Sir, your cousin Byrrhena desireth you to take the pains according to your promise yesternight, to come to supper, for it is ready. But I greatly fearing to go any more to her house in the night, said to the messenger, My friend I pray you tell to my cousin your mistress, that I would willingly be at her commandment, but for breaking my troth and credit. For mine host Milo enforced me to assure him, and compelled me by the feast of this present day, that I should not depart from his company, wherefore I pray you to excuse, and to defer my promise to another time.

And while I was speaking these words, Milo took me by the hand, and led me towards the next bain: but by the way I went couching under him, to hide myself from the sight of men, because I had ministered such an occasion of laughter. And when I had washed and wiped myself, and returned home again, I never remembered any such thing, so greatly was I abashed at the nodding and pointing of every person. Then went I to supper with Milo, where God wot we fared but meanly. Wherefore feigning that my head did ache by reason of my sobbing and weeping all day, I desired license to depart to my chamber, and so I went to bed.

XV

How Fotis told to Apuleius, what witchcraft her mistress did use.

When I was abed I began to call to mind all the sorrows and griefs that I was in the day before, until such time as my love Fotis, having brought her mistress to sleep, came into the chamber, not as she was wont to do, for she seemed nothing pleasant neither in countenance nor talk, but with sour face and frowning look, gan speak in this sort, Verily I confess that I have been the occasion of all thy trouble this day, and therewith she pulled out a whip from under her apron, and delivered it unto me saying, Revenge thyself upon me mischievous harlot, or rather slay me.

And think you not that I did willingly procure this anguish and sorrow unto you, I call the gods to witness. For I had rather mine own body to perish, than that you should receive or sustain any harm by my means, but that which I did was by the commandment of another, and wrought as I thought for some other, but behold the unlucky chance fortuned on you by my evil occasion.

Then I, very curious and desirous to know the matter, answered, In faith (quoth I), this most pestilent and evil-favoured whip which thou hast brought to scourge thee withal, shall first be broken in a thousand pieces, than it should touch or hurt thy delicate and dainty skin. But I pray you tell me how have you been the cause and mean of my trouble and sorrow? For I dare swear by the love that I bear unto you, and I will not be persuaded, though you yourself should endeavour the same, that ever you went to trouble or harm me: perhaps sometimes you imagined an evil thought in your mind, which afterwards you revoked, but that is not to be deemed as a crime.

When I had spoken these words, I perceived by Fotis’ eyes being wet with tears and well-nigh closed up that she had a desire unto pleasure and specially because she embraced and kissed me sweetly. And when she was somewhat restored unto joy she desired me that she might first shut the chamber door, least by the