seem to accuse my brother of theft, but I am right glad in that we are fallen into communication of the matter, least by our silence, like contention might arise between us, as fortuned between Eteocles and his brother. When they had reasoned together in this sort, they swore both earnestly, that neither of them stole or took away any jot of the meat, wherefore they concluded to search out the Thief by all kind of means. For they could not imagine or think, the ass who stood alone there, would eat any such meats, neither could they think that mice or flies, were so ravenous, as to devour whole dishes of meat, like the birds harpies which carried away the meats of Phineus the King of Arcadia. In the mean season while I was fed with dainty morsels, I gathered together my flesh, my skin waxed soft, my hair began to shine, and was gallant on every part, but such fair and comely shape of my body, was cause of my dishonour, for the baker and cook marvelled to see me so slick and fine, considering I did eat no hay at all. Wherefore on a time at their accustomed hour, they went to the baines, and locked their chamber door. It fortuned that ere they departed away, they espied me through a hole, how I fell roundly to my victuals: then they marvelled greatly, and little esteemed the loss of their meat, laughed exceedingly, calling the servants of the house, to show them the greedy gorge and appetite of the ass. Their laughing was so immoderate that the master of the house heard them, and demanded the cause of their laughter, and when he understood all the matter, he looked through the hole likewise, wherewith he took such a delectation that he commanded the door to be opened, that he might see me at his pleasure. Then I perceiving every man laugh, was nothing abashed, but rather more bold, whereby I never rested eating, till such time as the master of the house commanded me to be brought into his parlor as a novelty, and there caused all kinds of meats which were never touched to be set on the table, which (although I had eaten sufficiently before, yet to win the further favour of the master of the house) I did greedily devour and made a clean riddance of all the delicate meats. And to prove my nature wholly, they gave me such meats as every ass doth abhor: for they put before me beef and vinegar, birds and pepper, fish and verjuice: in the mean season they that beheld me at the table did nothing but laugh. Then one of the servants of the house said to his master, I pray you sir give him some drink to his supper: Marry (quoth he) I think thou saist true, for it may be, that to his meat he would drink likewise a cup of wine. Ho boy, wash yonder pot, and fill it with wine, which done, carry it to the ass, and say that I have drunk to him. Then all the standers-by looked on, to see what would come to pass: but I (as soon as I beheld the cup) stayed not long, but gathering my lips together, supped up all the wine at one draught. The master being right joyful hereat caused the baker and cook which had bought me, to come before him, to whom he delivered four times as much for me, as they paid, which done he committed me to one of his rich libertines, and charged him to look well to me, and that I should lack nothing, who obeyed his master’s commandment in every point: and to the end he would creep further into his favour, he taught me a thousand qualities. First he instructed me to sit at the table upon my tail, and how I should leap and dance, holding up my former feet: moreover he taught me how I should answer when anybody spake unto me, with nodding my head, which was a strange and marvelous thing, and if I did lack drink, I should look still upon the pot. All which things I did willingly bring to pass, and obeyed his doctrine: howbeit, I could have done all these things without his teaching, but I feared greatly lest in showing myself cunning without a master, I should pretend some great and strange wonder, and thereby be thrown out to wild beasts. But my fame was spread about in every place, and the qualities which I could do, insomuch that my master was renowned throughout all the country by reason of me. For every man would say: Behold the gentleman that hath an ass, that will eat and drink with him, that will dance, and understand what is said to him, will show his fantasy by signs. But first I will tell you (which I should have done before) who my master was, and of what country. His name was Thiasus, he was born at Corinth, which is a principal town of Achaea, and he had passed many offices of honor, till he had taken upon him the degree Quinquennial, according as his birth and dignity required, who to show his worthiness, and to purchase the benevolence of every person, appointed public joys and triumphs, to endure the space of three days, and to bring his endeavour to pass, he came into Thessaly to buy excellent beasts, and valiant fighters for the purpose.
XLVI
How a certain matron fell in love with Apuleius, how he had his pleasure with her, and what other things happened.
When he had bought such things as was necessary, he would not return home into his country in chariots, or wagon, neither would he ride upon Thessalian horses, or jennets of France, or Spanish mules, which be most excellent as can be found, but caused me to
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