Lady Windermere’s Fan

please? Thanks.⁠ ⁠… A useful thing a fan, isn’t it?⁠ ⁠… I want a friend tonight, Lord Darlington: I didn’t know I would want one so soon. Lord Darlington Lady Windermere! I knew the time would come some day; but why tonight? Lord Windermere I will tell her. I must. It would be terrible if there were any scene. Margaret⁠ ⁠… Parker Mrs. Erlynne! Lord Windermere starts. Mrs. Erlynne enters, very beautifully dressed and very dignified. Lady Windermere clutches at her fan, then lets it drop on the door. She bows coldly to Mrs. Erlynne, who bows to her sweetly in turn, and sails into the room. Lord Darlington You have dropped your fan, Lady Windermere. Picks it up and hands it to her. Mrs. Erlynne C. How do you do, again, Lord Windermere? How charming your sweet wife looks! Quite a picture! Lord Windermere In a low voice. It was terribly rash of you to come! Mrs. Erlynne Smiling. The wisest thing I ever did in my life. And, by the way, you must pay me a good deal of attention this evening. I am afraid of the women. You must introduce me to some of them. The men I can always manage. How do you do, Lord Augustus? You have quite neglected me lately. I have not seen you since yesterday. I am afraid you’re faithless. Everyone told me so. Lord Augustus R. Now really, Mrs. Erlynne, allow me to explain. Mrs. Erlynne R.C. No, dear Lord Augustus, you can’t explain anything. It is your chief charm. Lord Augustus Ah! if you find charms in me, Mrs. Erlynne⁠— They converse together. Lord Windermere moves uneasily about the room watching Mrs. Erlynne. Lord Darlington To Lady Windermere. How pale you are! Lady Windermere Cowards are always pale! Lord Darlington You look faint. Come out on the terrace. Lady Windermere Yes. To Parker. Parker, send my cloak out. Mrs. Erlynne Crossing to her. Lady Windermere, how beautifully your terrace is illuminated. Reminds me of Prince Doria’s at Rome. Lady Windermere bows coldly, and goes off with Lord Darlington. Oh, how do you do, Mr. Graham? Isn’t that your aunt, Lady Jedburgh? I should so much like to know her. Cecil Graham After a moment’s hesitation and embarrassment. Oh, certainly, if you wish it. Aunt Caroline, allow me to introduce Mrs. Erlynne. Mrs. Erlynne So pleased to meet you, Lady Jedburgh. Sits beside her on the sofa. Your nephew and I are great friends. I am so much interested in his political career. I think he’s sure to be a wonderful success. He thinks like a Tory, and talks like a Radical, and that’s so important nowadays. He’s such a brilliant talker, too. But we all know from whom he inherits that. Lord Allandale was saying to me only yesterday, in the Park, that Mr. Graham talks almost as well as his aunt. Lady Jedburgh R. Most kind of you to say these charming things to me! Mrs. Erlynne smiles, and continues conversation. Dumby To Cecil Graham. Did you introduce Mrs. Erlynne to Lady Jedburgh? Cecil Graham Had to, my dear fellow. Couldn’t help it! That woman can make one do anything she wants. How, I don’t know. Dumby Hope to goodness she won’t speak to me! Saunters towards Lady Plymdale. Mrs. Erlynne C. To Lady Jedburgh. On Thursday? With great pleasure. Rises, and speaks to Lord Windermere, laughing. What a bore it is to have to be civil to these old dowagers! But they always insist on it! Lady Plymdale To Mr. Dumby. Who is that well-dressed woman talking to Windermere? Dumby Haven’t got the slightest idea! Looks like an édition de luxe of a wicked French novel, meant specially for the English market. Mrs. Erlynne So that is poor Dumby with Lady Plymdale? I hear she is frightfully jealous of him. He doesn’t seem anxious to speak to me tonight. I suppose he is afraid of her. Those straw-coloured women have dreadful tempers. Do you know, I think I’ll dance with you first, Windermere. Lord Windermere bites his lip and frowns. It will make Lord Augustus so jealous! Lord Augustus! Lord Augustus comes down. Lord Windermere insists on my dancing with him first, and, as it’s his own house, I can’t well refuse. You know I would much sooner dance with you. Lord Augustus With a low bow. I wish I could think so, Mrs. Erlynne. Mrs. Erlynne You know it far too well. I can fancy a person dancing through life with you and finding it charming. Lord Augustus Placing his hand on his white waistcoat. Oh, thank you, thank you. You are the most adorable of all ladies! Mrs. Erlynne What a nice speech! So simple and so sincere! Just the sort of speech I like. Well, you shall hold my bouquet. Goes towards ballroom on Lord Windermere’s arm. Ah, Mr. Dumby, how are you? I am so sorry I have been out the last three times you have called. Come and lunch on Friday. Dumby With perfect nonchalance. Delighted! Lady Plymdale glares with indignation at Mr. Dumby. Lord Augustus follows Mrs. Erlynne and Lord Windermere into the ballroom holding bouquet. Lady Plymdale To Mr. Dumby. What an absolute brute you are! I never can believe a word you say! Why did you tell me you didn’t know her? What do you mean by calling on her three times running? You are not to go to lunch there; of course you understand that? Dumby My dear Laura, I wouldn’t dream of going! Lady Plymdale You haven’t told me her name yet! Who is she? Dumby Coughs slightly and smooths his hair. She’s a Mrs. Erlynne. Lady Plymdale That woman! Dumby Yes; that is what everyone calls her. Lady Plymdale How very interesting! How intensely interesting! I really must have a good stare at her.