“Tell me more about this abode of bliss,” he asked. “Are there grades in it? Are there ranks in our heaven?”
“There are two heavens,” the other replied, “the heaven of the hard and of the soft. We here lie in the heaven of the soft. It is a sufficient arrangement, for all men grow either hard or soft as they grow old.”
As he spoke the clouds lifted, and, looking up the slope of the plain, Micky saw that in the distance it was bounded by mountains of stone, and he knew, without being told, that among those mountains Janet lay, rigid, and that he should never see her. She had not been saved. The darkness would mock her, too, forever. With him lay the sentimentalists, the conciliators, the peacemakers, the humanists, and all who have trusted the warmer vision; with his wife were the reformers and ascetics and all sword-like souls. By different paths they had come to Hell, and Micky now saw what the bustle of life conceals: that the years are bound either to liquefy a man or to stiffen him, and that Love and Truth, who seem to contend for our souls like angels, hold each the seeds of our decay.
“It is, indeed, a sufficient arrangement,” he said; “both sufficient and simple. But answer one question more that my bliss may be perfected; in which of these two heavens are the young?”
His neighbour answered, “In neither; there are no young.”
He spoke no more, and settled himself more deeply in the dust. Micky did the same. He had vague memories of men and women who had died before reaching maturity, of boys and unwedded maidens and youths lowered into the grave before their parents’ eyes. Whither had they gone, that undeveloped minority? What was the point of their brief existence? Had they vanished utterly, or were they given another chance of accreting experiences until they became like Janet or himself? One thing was certain: there were no young, either in the mountains or the plain, and perhaps the very memory of such creatures was an illusion fostered by cloud.
The time was now ripe for a review of his life on earth. He traced his decomposition—his work had been soft, his books soft, he had softened his relations with other men. He had seen good in everything, and this is itself a sign of decay. Whatever occurred he had been appreciative, tolerant, pliant. Consequently he had been a success; Adam was right; it was the moment in civilisation for his type. He had mistaken self-criticism for self-discipline, he had muffled in himself and others the keen, heroic edge. Yet the luxury of repentance was denied him. The fault was his, but the fate humanity’s, for everyone grows hard or soft as he grows old.
“This is my life,” thought Micky; “my books forgotten, my work superseded. This is the whole of my life.” And his agony increased, because all the same there had been in that life an elusive joy which, if only he could have distilled it, would have sweetened infinity. It was part of the jest that he should try, and should eternally oscillate between disgust and desire. For there is nothing ultimate in Hell; men will not lay aside all hope on entering it, or they would attain to the splendour of despair. To have made a poem about Hell is to mistake its very essence; it is the imagination of men, who will have beauty, that fashions it as ice or flame. Old, but capable of growing older, Micky lay in the sandy country, remembering that once he had remembered a country—a country that had not been sand. …
He was aroused by the mutterings of the spirits round him. An uneasiness such as he had not noted in them before had arisen. “A pillar of sand,” said one. Another said, “It is not; it comes from the river.”
He asked, “What river?”
“The spirits of the damned dwell over it; we never speak of that river.”
“Is it a broad river?”
“Swift, and very broad.”
“Do the damned ever cross it?”
“They are permitted, we know not why, to cross it now and again.”
And in these answers he caught a new tone, as if his companions were frightened, and were finding means to express their fear. When he said, “With permission, they can do us no harm,” he was answered, “They harm us with light and a song.” And again, “They harm us because they remember and try to remind.”
“Of what would they remind us?”
“Of the hour when we were as they.”
As he questioned a whisper arose from the low-lying verges. The spirits were crying to each other faintly. He heard, “It is coming; drive it back over the river, shatter it, compel it to be old.” And then the darkness was cloven, and a star of pain broke in his soul. He understood now; a torment greater than any was at hand.
“I was before choice,” came the song. “I was before hardness and softness were divided. I was in the days when truth was love. And I am.”
All the plain was convulsed. But the invader could not be shattered. When it pressed the air parted and the sand-pillars fell, and its path was filled with senile weeping.
“I have been all men, but all men have forgotten me. I transfigured the world for them until they preferred the world. They came to me as children, afraid; I taught them, and they despised me. Childhood is a dream about me, experience a slow forgetting: I govern the magic years between them, and am.”
“Why trouble us?” moaned the shades. “We could bear our torment, just bear it, until there was light and a song. Go back again over the river. This is Heaven, we were saying, that darkness is God; we could praise them till you came. The book of our deeds is closed; why open
