Connie was glad to be home, to bury her head in the sand. She was glad even to babble to Clifford. For her fear of the mining and iron Midlands affected her with a queer feeling that went all over her, like influenza.
“Of course I had to have tea in Miss Bentley’s shop,” she said.
“Really! Winter would have given you tea.”
“Oh yes, but I daren’t disappoint Miss Bentley.”
Miss Bentley was a sallow old maid with a rather large nose and romantic disposition, who served tea with a careful intensity worthy of a sacrament.
“Did she ask after me?” said Clifford.
“Of course!—May I ask your Ladyship how Sir Clifford is!—I believe she ranks you even higher than Nurse Cavell!”
“And I suppose you said I was blooming.”
“Yes! And she looked as rapt as if I had said the heavens had opened to you. I said if she ever came to Tevershall she was to come and see you.”
“Me! Whatever for! See me!”
“Why yes, Clifford. You can’t be so adored without making some slight return. Saint George of Cappadocia was nothing to you, in her eyes.”
“And do you think she’ll come?”
“Oh, she blushed! and looked quite beautiful for a moment, poor thing! Why don’t men marry the women who would really adore them?”
“The women start adoring too late. But did she say she’d come?”
“Oh!” Connie imitated the breathless Miss Bentley, “your Ladyship, if ever I should dare to presume!”
“Dare to presume! how absurd! But I hope to God she won’t turn up. And how was her tea?”
“Oh, Lipton’s and very strong! But Clifford, do you realise you are the Roman de la rose of Miss Bentley and lots like her?”
“I’m not flattered, even then.”
“They treasure up every one of your pictures in the illustrated papers, and probably pray for you every night. It’s rather wonderful.”
She went upstairs to change.
That evening he said to her:
“You do think, don’t you, that there is something eternal in marriage?”
She looked at him.
“But Clifford, you make eternity sound like a lid or a long, long chain that trailed after one, no matter how far one went.”
He looked at her, annoyed.
“What I mean,” he said, “is that if you go to Venice, you won’t go in the hopes of some love affair that you can take au grand sérieux, will you?”
“A love affair in Venice au grand sérieux? No, I assure you! No, I’d never take a love affair in Venice more than au très petit sérieux.”
She spoke with a queer kind of contempt. He knitted his brows, looking at her.
Coming downstairs in the morning, she found the keeper’s dog Flossie sitting in the corridor outside Clifford’s room, and whimpering very faintly.
“Why Flossie!” she said softly, “What are you doing here?”
And she quietly opened Clifford’s door. Clifford was sitting up in bed, with the bed-table and typewriter pushed aside, and the keeper was standing attention at the foot of the bed. Flossie ran in. With a faint gesture of head and eyes, Mellors ordered her to the door again, and she slunk out.
“Oh, good morning Clifford!” Connie said. “I didn’t know you were busy.” Then she looked at the keeper, saying good morning to him. He murmured his reply, looking at her as if vaguely. But she felt a whiff of passion touch her, from his mere presence.
“Did I interrupt you, Clifford? I’m sorry.”
“No, it’s nothing of any importance.”
She slipped out of the room again, and up to the blue boudoir on the first floor. She sat in the window, and saw him go down the drive, with his curious, silent motion, effaced. He had a natural sort of quiet distinction, an aloof pride, and also a certain look of frailty. A hireling! One of Clifford’s hirelings! “The fault, dear Brutus, is not in our stars, but in ourselves, that we are underlings.”
Was he an underling? Was he? What did he think of her?
It was a sunny day, and Connie was working in the garden, and Mrs. Bolton was helping her. For some reason, the two women had drawn together, in one of the unaccountable flows and ebbs of sympathy that exist between people. They were pegging down carnations, and putting in small plants for the summer. It was work they both liked. Connie especially felt a delight in putting the soft roots of young plants into a soft black puddle, and cradling them down. On this spring morning she felt a quiver in her womb too, as if the sunshine had touched it and made it happy.
“It is many years since you lost your husband?” she said to Mrs. Bolton, as she took up another little plant and laid it in its hole.
“Twenty-three!” said Mrs. Bolton, as she carefully separated the young columbines into single plants. “Twenty-three years since they brought him home.”
Connie’s heart gave a lurch, at the terrible finality of it. “Brought him home!”
“Why did he get killed, do you think?” she asked. “He was happy with you?”
It was a woman’s question to a woman. Mrs. Bolton put aside a strand of hair from her face, with the back of her hand.
“I don’t know, my Lady! He sort of wouldn’t give in to things: he wouldn’t really go with the rest. And then he hated ducking his head for anything on earth. A sort of obstinacy, that gets itself killed. You see he didn’t really care. I lay it down to the pit. He ought never to have been down pit. But his dad made him go down, as a lad; and then, when you’re over twenty, it’s not very easy to come out.”
“Did he say he hated it?”
“Oh no! Never! He never said he hated anything. He just made a funny face. He was one of those who wouldn’t take care: like some of the first lads as went off so blithe to the war and got killed right away. He wasn’t really wezzle-brained. But he wouldn’t care. I used
