“And so do I,” Roland said.
They all looked at him with surprise, and Hester with a sudden increase of colour. She was angry, though she could not have told why.
“He is very hot and eager in business,” Roland said. “I suppose I ought to like him the better for that. And he has a keen eye too; but it goes to his head, and that is what one never should allow one’s business to do.”
“Ah!” cried Mrs. John, “if it can be prevented, Mr. Roland. That was what happened to my dear husband. He could not be cool, as, I suppose, it is right to be. But sometimes, don’t you think one likes a person better for not calculating too much, for letting himself be carried away?”
Roland looked more dark than he had ever been seen to look before, and responded vaguely, “Perhaps,” with a face that had no doubtfulness in it.
“Why should he not be hot and eager?” cried Hester; “I understand that very well. Everything is quiet here. A man, when he gets out of this still atmosphere, wants a little excitement, and to fling himself into it.”
“Ah!” said Mrs. John, “that is what your poor father always said.”
But Roland had never looked so unsympathetic. “A man may lose his head in love or in war, or in adventure, or in pleasure, but he must not lose it on the Stock Exchange,” he said; then, looking up, with an uneasy laugh, “I need not warn you, ladies, need I? for you will never lose your heads about shares and premiums. I am glad to think I am a very steady fellow myself.”
“Oh, steady!” cried Mrs. John, alarmed. “I hope, I am sure, they are all quite steady. I never heard a word to the contrary. It would be dreadful for poor Catherine; after all, though we are not very good friends—not such good friends as I should wish to be—it would be dreadful; for if Edward was not steady—Oh, I hope, Mr. Roland, you are mistaken. I hope that it is not so.”
“He means a steady head, mother; there is no question of anything else,” said Hester, very red and troubled. Her secret consciousness in respect to Edward made life and conversation very difficult for her: she could not bear any animadversion upon him, though in her own heart she made many; and at the same time she could not defend him openly. What was he to her more than Harry was? The same far-off cousin—old friend: not so much, indeed, as Harry, for all the world knew that Harry would fain have established another relationship had it seemed good in Hester’s eyes.
“I meant nothing against his morals,” Roland said.
“That is a great relief to my mind,” said Mrs. John, “for Catherine Vernon is a good woman, though she and I have never been great friends; and it is a terrible thing to set your heart upon a child and have him turn out badly. There is nothing so heartrending as that. One of my mother’s sisters, Aunt Eliza, of whom you have heard me talk, Hester, had a son—”
“Oh, mamma, I don’t think we want to hear about that.”
“And you were coming out for a walk,” said Emma, who saw that her own affairs were slipping out of notice. “Didn’t she say she would come out for a walk? And if we are going we had better not be long about it, for the days are so short at this time of the year.”
“Put on your hat, Hester; it will do you good. You change colour so I do not know what to make of it,” her mother said.
“And so do I now,” cried Emma; “they always tell me it is indigestion, but that is not a nice reason to give when people think you are blushing about something. It is very disagreeable. Mine comes on often after dinner when we dine early, and all the afternoon I am just a fright! It is a blessing it goes off towards evening when one is seeing people. Roland, you must take Hester and me into Redborough. I want to buy some gloves, and I dare say so does she, for the Merridews tonight.”
“She is not going to the Merridews,” said Mrs. John, with a plaintive sound in her voice.
“Oh, she told us something about that, but I didn’t believe it was true. Why shouldn’t she go to the Merridews?—she that is always made so much of, just like the sister of the house. If I had that position I never should miss one evening; and, indeed, I never have since I had my first invitation. Grandpapa did not like it at first, but of course he got reconciled. Oh, here you are, Hester; how quickly you do dress! To be sure, you never put on anything but that peacoat of yours. But I don’t like drawing on my gloves as I go out, as you do; I like to put them on carefully, and smooth them, and button them up.”
“You are always so tidy,” said Mrs. John, with a faint sigh. She could not but feel it would be an advantage if Hester, though so much superior, would get some of Emma’s ways. She was so neat: never a hair out of order, or a shoe-tie loose. Whereas, now and then, in her own child, there were imperfections. But she smiled as she looked after them, going out to the door to see them go. Hester, with her varying complexion (which had nothing to do with her digestion), threw up her head to meet the wind with a movement so vigorous, so full of grace and life, that it was a pleasure to see. The mother thought that it was pretty to watch her drawing on her
