“He is a native of our country, and is nat’rally bright and spry, of course,” said Mr. Pogram.
“Now, observe what this comes to, Mr. Pogram,” pursued Martin. “The mass of your countrymen begin by stubbornly neglecting little social observances, which have nothing to do with gentility, custom, usage, government, or country, but are acts of common, decent, natural, human politeness. You abet them in this, by resenting all attacks upon their social offences as if they were a beautiful national feature. From disregarding small obligations they come in regular course to disregard great ones; and so refuse to pay their debts. What they may do, or what they may refuse to do next, I don’t know; but any man may see if he will, that it will be something following in natural succession, and a part of one great growth, which is rotten at the root.”
The mind of Mr. Pogram was too philosophical to see this; so they went on deck again, where, resuming his former post, he chewed until he was in a lethargic state, amounting to insensibility.
After a weary voyage of several days, they came again to that same wharf where Mark had been so nearly left behind, on the night of starting for Eden. Captain Kedgick, the landlord, was standing there, and was greatly surprised to see them coming from the boat.
“Why, what the ’tarnal!” cried the Captain. “Well! I do admire at this, I do!”
“We can stay at your house until tomorrow, Captain, I suppose?” said Martin.
“I reckon you can stay there for a twelvemonth if you like,” retorted Kedgick coolly. “But our people won’t best like your coming back.”
“Won’t like it, Captain Kedgick!” said Martin.
“They did expect you was a-going to settle,” Kedgick answered, as he shook his head. “They’ve been took in, you can’t deny!”
“What do you mean?” cried Martin.
“You didn’t ought to have received ’em,” said the Captain. “No you didn’t!”
“My good friend,” returned Martin, “did I want to receive them? Was it any act of mine? Didn’t you tell me they would rile up, and that I should be flayed like a wild cat—and threaten all kinds of vengeance, if I didn’t receive them?”
“I don’t know about that,” returned the Captain. “But when our people’s frills is out, they’re starched up pretty stiff, I tell you!”
With that, he fell into the rear to walk with Mark, while Martin and Elijah Pogram went on to the National.
“We’ve come back alive, you see!” said Mark.
“It ain’t the thing I did expect,” the Captain grumbled. “A man ain’t got no right to be a public man, unless he meets the public views. Our fashionable people wouldn’t have attended his le‑vee, if they had know’d it.”
Nothing mollified the Captain, who persisted in taking it very ill that they had not both died in Eden. The boarders at the National felt strongly on the subject too; but it happened by good fortune that they had not much time to think about this grievance, for it was suddenly determined to pounce upon the Honourable Elijah Pogram, and give him a le‑vee forthwith.
As the general evening meal of the house was over before the arrival of the boat, Martin, Mark, and Pogram were taking tea and fixings at the public table by themselves, when the deputation entered to announce this honour; consisting of six gentlemen boarders and a very shrill boy.
“Sir!” said the spokesman.
“Mr. Pogram!” cried the shrill boy.
The spokesman thus reminded of the shrill boy’s presence, introduced him. “Doctor Ginery Dunkle, sir. A gentleman of great poetical elements. He has recently jined us here, sir, and is an acquisition to us, sir, I do assure you. Yes, sir. Mr. Jodd, sir. Mr. Izzard, sir. Mr. Julius Bib, sir.”
“Julius Washington Merryweather Bib,” said the gentleman himself to himself.
“I beg your pardon, sir. Excuse me. Mr. Julius Washington Merryweather Bib, sir; a gentleman in the lumber line, sir, and much esteemed. Colonel Groper, sir. Pro‑fessor Piper, sir. My own name, sir, is Oscar Buffum.”
Each man took one slide forward as he was named; butted at the Honourable Elijah Pogram with his head; shook hands, and slid back again. The introductions being completed, the spokesman resumed.
“Sir!”
“Mr. Pogram!” cried the shrill boy.
“Perhaps,” said the spokesman, with a hopeless look, “you will be so good, Dr. Ginery Dunkle, as to charge yourself with the execution of our little office, sir?”
As there was nothing the shrill boy desired more, he immediately stepped forward.
“Mr. Pogram! Sir! A handful Of your fellow-citizens, sir, hearing Of your arrival at the National Hotel, and feeling the patriotic character Of your public services, wish, sir, to have the gratification of beholding you, and mixing with you, sir; and unbending with you, sir, in those moments which—”
“Air,” suggested Buffum.
“Which air so peculiarly the lot, sir, Of our great and happy country.”
“Hear!” cried Colonel Grouper, in a loud voice. “Good! Hear him! Good!”
“And therefore, sir,” pursued the Doctor, “they request; as A mark Of their respect; the honour of your company at a little le‑vee, sir, in the ladies’ ordinary, at eight o’clock.”
Mr. Pogram bowed, and said:
“Fellow countrymen!”
“Good!” cried the Colonel. “Hear, him! Good!”
Mr. Pogram bowed to the Colonel individually, and then resumed:
“Your approbation of My labours in the common cause goes to My heart. At all times and in all places; in the ladies’ ordinary, My friends, and in the Battle Field—”
“Good, very good! Hear him! Hear him!” said the Colonel.
“The name of Pogram will be proud to jine you. And may it, My friends, be written on My tomb, ‘He was a member of the Con‑gress of our common country, and was ac‑Tive in his trust.’ ”
“The Com‑mittee, sir,” said the shrill boy, “will wait upon you at five minutes afore eight. I take My leave, sir!”
Mr. Pogram shook hands with him, and everybody
