“You may as well tell me what’s settled, and get it by with,” she observed in a sardonic tone. “So far, even Eliza seems to know more about it than me. You and Will seem to ha’ fixed things up wi’ a vengeance, that you have! You’d best to tell me how it come about, instead of booing away to yourself like a badly calf.”
“Nay, it was all fixed that sharp,” Simon grumbled, with an injured air, though very relieved at heart to hear her speak. “There was no time to ax nobody nor nowt. I’m still a bit maiselt about it myself, for the matter o’ that. I don’t know as I’ll be that surprised if I hear tomorrow it’s all off. As for Eliza, it fair beats me how she could ha’ got wind of it so smart! She likely hid herself somewheres when we was talking it out; though she’s not that easy to miss—gert, spying toad!”
He brisked considerably now that the first awkwardness was past, and went on to tell her, after his usual backwards and forwards fashion, exactly how the new arrangement had come about.
“It’s not much to crack on, I dare say,” he finished, pleading with her across the disapproving silence which had again risen between them like a wall, “but, when all’s said and done, it’s a sight better than I’d looked for, by a deal. I’d ha’ been bound to hire myself somewheres, to help us make out, and there isn’t a decenter master in t’countryside than Will. It’s a deal better than being odd-job man at some one-horse spot, or maybe scrattin’ up weeds and suchlike at some private house. There’ll be a decent wage, think on, and milk—ay, and happen a load o’ coal an’ all. Will’ll see as we’re rightly done by, never fret! We’ll be right comfortable, I’m sure. Will says his lasses’ll give you a hand wi’ washing and the like, and if happen we get a good sale we might run to a bit o’ help ourselves. You’ll miss t’horse and cart, I reckon, but we’ll find a way out o’ yon as well. If you felt as you fancied a bit of a ride, Will’d like enough loan me a horse and trap.”
He was coaxing her for all he was worth, but neither the coaxing nor the explanation seemed to get any further than her ears. Again he felt the spasm of irritation which he had felt in the parlour, and was at the same time reminded of its original cause.
“I don’t say it’ll be over pleasant for either on us,” he went on vexedly, as she did not open her lips, “but you’ll likely admit I did the best I could for us, all the same. It’s a sad pity you and Eliza pull together so bad, but it’s over late to think o’ mending it now. Anyway, you did nowt to mend it by telling yon string o’ lies this afternoon! What, in the name o’ goodness, made you act so strange?”
She moved then, a touch of the afternoon glamour reaching from Blindbeck, and following her down the lane.
“Nay, I don’t know. … Things come over folk, now and then. I’m right sorry, though, if I set you thinking it was the lad.”
“I’ve given up thinking owt o’ the sort long since,” he said dejectedly. “I should ha’ thought you would ha’ done the same an’ all.”
“Things come over folk,” she repeated, unwilling to say more, and he nodded his head, relieved by her softer tone. “You’ll try to make up your mind to Blindbeck, will you, missis?” he pressed on nervously, hoping her mood would last. “It’s a bad best, maybe, but I nobbut did what I could.”
She gave a sharp sigh, but her voice was firm. “Ay, I’ll make up my mind to it, after a bit.”
“It’s a big change at our time of life, but you’ll settle, never fear.”
“Ay, I’ll settle all right. Don’t you fret.”
“It’s a good shop, Sarah.”
“Ay.”
“And Will’s a right good sort.”
“Oh, ay.”
The sudden gentleness of her mood prompted him to a further unburdening of his soul. He leaned forward a little in the trap, staring over the grey fields, and with the note of pleading rising and falling in his tone.
“I don’t mind telling you now, Sarah, but I’ve been fair fretted out o’ my senses all this while. There’s been times I’ve felt like just making off on t’sands, and letting tide settle it for me for good an’ all. Ay, and by Gox! it very near come about, too, one day when I was mooning along and not looking where I was at! But there was you to see to, and I couldn’t rightly bring myself to chuck up the sponge. ’Tisn’t as if the lad was dead, neither—there was that as well. He’s as good as dead, likely, but it’s a different thing, all the same. Folks can get along on a mighty little hope—same as yon old horse as died just when it was learning to live on nowt! We’ve come to a bonny pass, these days, you and Geordie an’ me, but the world isn’t past bearing as long as the three on us is over sod.”
It was with a sense of enlightenment and escape that they came out finally on to the high road, for in the cleft of the lane every curve of the land stole what little clarity was left to the slowly withdrawing earth. Even Sarah was faintly conscious of lightened lids, as well as of easier breathing as the
