“Maria Leontievna Bochkareva here?” I asked sharply, in military fashion. Mother took me for some messenger from headquarters, and answered, “No.”
I threw myself on her neck. “Holy Mother, save me!” she exclaimed. There were cries and tears which brought my father and little sister on the scene. My mother became hysterical. For the first time I saw my father weep, and again I was urged to come back to my senses and give up this crazy notion of serving in the army. The landlady and old Nastasia Leontievna were called to help dissuade me from my purpose.
“Think what the men will do to a solitary woman in their midst,” they argued. “Why, they’ll make a prostitute of you. They will kill you secretly, and nobody will ever find a trace of you. Only the other day they found the body of a woman along the railroad track, thrown out of a troop-train. You have always been such a sensible girl. What has come over you? And what will become of your parents? They are old and weak, and you are their only hope. They always said that when Marusia came back they would end their lives in peace. Now you are shortening their days, driving them to their graves in sorrow.”
For a little while I hesitated again. The fierce struggle in my bosom between the two conflicting calls was renewed. But I held by my decision, remaining deaf to all entreaty. Then my mother grew angry and, crying out at the top of her voice, she shouted:
“You are no longer my daughter! You have forfeited your mother’s love.”
With a heavy heart I left the house for the barracks. The Commander of the Company did not expect me, and I had to explain to him why I could not pass that night at home. He assigned to me a place in the general sleeping-room ordering the men not to molest me. On my right and on my left were soldiers, and that first night in the company of men will ever stand out in my memory. I did not close my eyes once during the night.
The men were, naturally, unaccustomed to such a strange creature as myself and took me for a woman of loose morals who had made her way into the ranks for the sake of carrying on her illicit trade. I was, therefore, compelled constantly to fight off intrusions from all sides. As soon as I made an effort to shut my eyes I would discover the arm of my left-hand-neighbour round my neck, and would restore it to its owner with a push. While keeping an eye on his movements, however, I offered an opportunity for my neighbour on the right to get too near to me, and I would savagely kick him in the side. All night long my nerves were taut and my fists busy. Toward dawn I was so exhausted that I nearly fell asleep, when I discovered a hand on my chest, and before the man realized my intention, I struck him in the face. I continued to rain blows till the bell rang at five o’clock, the hour for rising.
Ten minutes were given us to dress and wash, tardiness being punished by a rebuke. At the end of ten minutes the ranks formed and every soldier’s hands, ears and foot-rags were inspected. I was in such haste to be in time that I put my trousers on inside out, provoking roars of laughter.
The day began with a prayer for the Tsar and country, following which every one of us received the daily allowance of two-and-a-half pounds of bread and a few cubes of sugar from our respective squad commanders. There were four squads to a company. Our breakfast consisted of bread and tea and lasted half an hour.
At the mess I had an opportunity to get acquainted with some of the more sympathetic soldiers. There were ten volunteers in my company, and they were all students. After eating, there was roll-call. When the officer reached my name he read: “Bochkareva,” to which I answered, “Aye.” We were then taken out for instruction, since the entire regiment had been formed only three days before. The first rule that the training officer tried to impress upon us was to pay attention, and to watch his movements and actions. Not all the recruits could do it easily. I prayed to God to enlighten me in the study of a soldier’s duties.
It was slow work to establish proper relations with the men. The first few days I was such a nuisance to the Company Commander that he wished me to ask for dismissal. He hinted as much on a couple of occasions, but I continued to mind my own business and never reported the annoyances I endured from the men. Gradually I won their respect and confidence. The small group of volunteers always defended me. As the Russian soldiers call each other by nicknames, one of the first questions put to me by my friends was what I would like to be called.
“Call me Yashka,” I said, and that name stuck to me ever after, saving my life on more than one occasion. There is so much in a name, and “Yashka” was the sort of name that appealed to the soldiers and always worked in my favour. In time it became the nickname of the regiment, but not before I had been tested by many additional trials and found to be a comrade, and not merely a woman, by the men.
I was an apt student and learned almost to anticipate the orders of the instructor. When the day’s duties were completed and the soldiers gathered into groups to while away an hour or two in games or story-telling, I was always asked
