The result of the address was a split in the ranks of my Battalion. More than half of them approved of the speaker, crying: “We are free. This is not the old regime. We want to be independent. We want to exercise our own rights.” And they seceded from the troop, and finding themselves in the majority after taking votes, elected a committee.
I was deeply agitated, and in spite of the late hour ordered the girls to form into ranks. As soon as this was accomplished I addressed the following command to the body:
“Those who want a committee move over to the right. Those who are against it go to, the left.”
The majority went to the right. Only about three hundred stood at the left.
“Now those of you who are willing to be treated by me as you have been treated hitherto, to receive punishment when necessary, to maintain the severest possible discipline in the Battalion and to be ruled without a committee, say yes,” I exclaimed.
The group of three hundred on the left shouted in a chorus: “Yes, we consent! We are willing, Commander.”
Turning to the silent crowd on the right I said:
“Why did you join? I told you beforehand that it would be hard. Did you not sign pledges to obey? I want action, not phrases. Committees paralyse action by a flood of words.”
“We are not slaves; we are free women,” many of the mutineers shouted. “This is not the old regime. We want more courteous treatment, more liberty. We want to govern our own affairs like the rest of the army.”
“Ah, you foolish women!” I answered with a sorrowing heart. “I did not organize this Battalion to be like the rest of the army. We were to serve as an example, and not merely to add a few babas to the ineffectual millions of soldiers now swarming over Russia. We were to strike out a new path and not imitate the demoralized army. Had I known what stuff you were made of, I would not have had anything to do with you. Consider, we were to lead in a general attack. Now, suppose we had a committee and the moment for the offensive arrived. Then the committee suddenly decides not to advance and our whole scheme is brought to nothing.”
“Certainly,” the rebels shouted. “We should want to decide for ourselves whether to attack or not.”
“Well,” I said, turning to them in disgust, “you are not worthy of the uniforms you are wearing. This uniform stands for noble sacrifice, for unselfish patriotism, for purity and honour and loyalty. Every one of you is a disgrace to the uniform. Take it off and leave this place.”
My order was met by an outburst of scoffing and defiance.
“We are in the majority. We refuse to obey your orders. We no longer recognize your authority. We will elect a new chief!”
I was deeply hurt, but I controlled myself so as not to act rashly. I resolved to make another appeal to them, and said:
“You will elect no new chief. But if you want to go, go quietly. Make no scandal, for the sake of womanhood. If all this becomes public it will injure and humiliate all of us. Men will say that women are unfit for serious work, that they do not know how to carry through an enterprise and that they cannot help quarrelling. We shall become a byword all over the world and your act will be an eternal blot on our sex.”
“But why are you so cruel and harsh to us?” the rebels began to argue again. “Why do you treat us as if we were in a prison, allowing us no holidays, giving us no opportunity to go for walks, always shouting and ordering us about? You want to make us slaves.”
“I told you at the beginning that I should be strict, that I should shout and punish. As to not letting you out of the grounds, you know that I do it because I cannot be sure of your conduct outside. I wanted this house to be a holy place. I prayed to God to hallow us all with His chastity. I wished you to go to the front as saintly women, hoping that the enemy’s bullets would not touch you.”
All night an argument raged between the three hundred loyal women and the mutineers. I retired, leaving instructions with the officers to let the rebels do as they pleased, even to leave in their uniforms. I was filled with despair as I reflected on the outcome of my enterprise. My soul ached for all women as I thought of the disgraceful conduct of the girls who had pledged their honour on behalf of an idea and then deserted the banner they had themselves raised.
In the morning I was informed that the rebels had elected a deputation to go to General Polovtzev, Commander of the Military District, to make complaint against me, and that they had all departed in uniform. The same day I was called to report to General Polovtzev on the whole matter. The General advised me to meet some of the demands of the rebels and come to terms.
“The whole army is now being run by committees of soldiers. You alone cannot preserve the old system. Let your girls form a committee so that a scandal will be averted and your great work thereby saved,” General Polovtzev tried to persuade me. But I would not be persuaded.
He then went on to tell me that the soldiers of the First and Tenth Armies, having heard of my work, had bought for me two icons, one of the Holy Mother and the other of Saint George, both of silver, framed in gold. They had telegraphed instructions to embroider two standards with appropriate inscriptions. Kerensky, the General told me, had thought of making the presentation a solemn occasion and had had my record in the army fully investigated, after which he had decided to buy a gold cross
